<p>Hey I'm kinda stuck on something that may seem silly but I've been dating this girl for 2 and a half years now and I care about her a ton yet we fight a lot and I chose a college that I didn't want so that I could be close to her. I know it's dumb but I did. I like the college but I wanna go somewhere else but it might be out of state and if that happens she says she doesn't want to date anymore. It's almost Christmas and I basicaly made my decision on where I might go but I don't know how to tell her. I also am wondering of it's best to just breakup with her so it's easier. Problem is every time I want to I'll spend time with her and then I'm happy but when away I'm not as happy about her as she gets really needy. Any advice? I'm really stuck.</p>
<p>@motocrossman </p>
<p>I didn’t have this issue going into college, so my words may ring a bit hollow. However, college is not a decision made lightly. You make a commitment, one that comes with a high price for many. Think about it- this is a decision that affects the rest of your life. Do you think it worthwhile to shift the mold just to fit the casing of someone else? Is your girlfriend important enough to you to factor into your choices? </p>
<p>It’s not my place to say, but as an unbiased party, I don’t think it is wise to let relationship problems get in the way of what you think might be best for you. If what is best for her is what is best for you, then go ahead by all means. Just know that 4 years is enough for many things to change, and you DON’T want to be caught in between a rock and hard place at the end of it. Especially not by your own design. </p>
<p>Are you a senior right now? Here’s how you do this: first you decide where you want to go to college without her as a factor, then you decide what you want to do about your relationship with her. It is worth remembering that you have nine more months until you actually move to college, so there is plenty of time for you to hang out with her without having to break up this week.
Do you have finals this week? If so, focus on that and deal with all of this once winter break starts.</p>
<p>never base your future plans on a high school sweet heart. spread your wings and fly! many people make this mistake. high school ends at graduation and the rest of your life begins. this story has occurred a million times.
if you stick with your first boy/girl friend it will lead to a bumpy beginning to college and if you go off to start with a fresh slate you will be able to experience a once in a life time opportunity of being a freshman striking out on your own, in a new place surrounded by all new people.
if you stick with a person and spend the 1st semester or 2 or couple of years trying to cling to high school, when you do break up where will that leave you? </p>
<p>I think this is a current college student who is applying for transfer. If that’s the case, do you see this relationship going anywhere? Do you hear any bells in the future or is this just a longer term relationship?</p>
<p>I say you make these changes for you. It is your future. Your happiness matters as well as hers. Let your girlfriend know that you are hoping that if the relationship is strong it will survive a long distance relationship. If this relationship was meant to be, you will both find a way to make it work. If she’d rather break it off because of your choice…well, she really is not the one. In a relationship you compromise to make things work. You might always like the compromise, but you work with what you’ve given.</p>
<p>Hey. I’m someone who met my boyfriend in undergrad and then chose to go away for grad school, apart from him after 3 yrs together. So my thoughts, from someone who has been through a similar decision:</p>
<p>Do NOT choose a college based on a girlfriend. College is a big, major decision and it is <em>your</em> future it will affect. I understand that two and a half years is a long time together but realistically, you are probably not going to marry this girl and be together forever. This is especially true if you’re already feeling like you don’t miss her as much as she misses you and you’re thinking of breaking up. Do not make a life-changing decision about your future based on a relationship that is by no means set in stone. Think about it this way: if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. If you’re truly “the one” for each other, you should be able to survive long distance and a few years apart. I know people who are in that situation-- one is going to med school away from her girlfriend, for example, but they’re fully committed to staying together for those years and marrying after.</p>
<p>It sucks being away from my boyfriend. It’s the worst. But we talk every single night and we’re in constant communication throughout the day. He’s genuinely happy for me that I’m at the college that’s best for my future, because relationships should be based on support, not neediness. If going to the college you want means breaking up, that’s really really unfortunate, but so be it. You’ll find someone else.</p>
<p>You will survive if you break up with this girl. And there are many other people to love in this world. You will find another if this one doesn’t work out. Don’t be afraid of the pain; it’s part of the package.</p>
<p>Watch High School Musical 4, it describes your situation perfectly!! (It may help you view the predicament from another perspective)</p>
<p>If she threatens to break up with you if you attend college away, the relationship probably isn’t going to work out. Love is a choice. If she isn’t willing to make it work through this, she won’t be willing to make it work when you guys face bigger problems in the future. I think you should have a heart to heart before making any decisions… explain to her why you want to go to your college of choice, and just see what happens. If it’s meant to be you guys will work something out; if you can’t, at least you won’t have any what-ifs to wrestle with in the future.</p>
Hey everyone! Thank you all for helping me so much thought this really hard process. I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend. She went crazy on me and I just didn’t feel happy in my situation. Ultimately, it was worth the breakup and the pain and I’ve been proven that it was the right choice. Thank you all so much! you all really have helped me a ton!