<p>i don't know about that man. hanging out, watching a movie, getting a slice, etc. does not necessarily mean there's an understanding from the girl that you're interested in her. i was under that impression for a while but I've noticed it isn't like that. you can do those same things with just friends. in fact this semester i've met a girl through a mutual friend, and we've watched movies, have gone out in social groups, gotten dinner, etc. as far as she knows we're friends and that's how i've taken it as well. i mean she's attractive, and it'd be nice if it went further but the things we've done together has been just like the stuff you've said, but you think that girl has any idea that i might be interested in her? nope. the reason being is that any two people can do those things and just be friends. if you want to let a girl know you're interested in her then you need to be more upfront about it otherwise you're going to be going through the same problems your going through now.</p>
<p>BlahDeBlah....you are one very confused woman. Honestly, no offence lol.</p>
<p>There's a difference between hanging out and just talking. You can talk to them in class, or outside of class...that doesn't mean anything. When it comes to hanging out or meeting someone outside of class, and especially if the GIRL initiates that, guys get the signal that you like him. </p>
<p>I said it before, and I'll say it again...If a guy wants to hang out with you, 9/10 times he wants you to be his gf sometime in the future.</p>
<p>Remember that ou just can't treat your guy friends the same way you treat your girl friends.</p>
<p>So you're saying that if you ask a girl you're to hang out that you can't ask a friend to do the same thing?</p>
<p>Why would I want to hang out with a girl that i'm not romantically interested in, unless of course she's very interesting to hang out with...but that rarely happens.</p>
<p>I just want girls to be straightforward with me. If she wants to hang out with me, make it clear she just wants to be friends and nothing else...and stop flirting with me unnecessarily. And if she wants to be more than friends, she just tell me. Its simple really. I just dont' know how to tell if she likes u as a friend or more than that. This is what puzzles me.</p>
<p>MightyNick i know where ur comin from man, indian girls can be kinda **<strong><em>y sometimes. there's some nice ones out there no doubt, but a lot of them DO come off as majorly *</em></strong>*y. </p>
<p>btw is ur actual name Nikhil ~_~</p>
<p>mightynick, you hit it right on the spot, but god damn this thread is CLASSIC.</p>
<p>LOLTASTIC.</p>
<p>"Look, if you're going to sit around and whine about wahh, girls aren't confusing, they never tell you exactly what they're thinking, wahh...start doing the same yourself please. If you are approaching some girl with the sole intent of dating her eventually, make that perfectly, unavoidably clear from the very beginning. Because I am very tired of meeting new guys, having them talk to me and generally be friendly, which leads me to talk and be friendly to them and think that I've made a new friend, accepting invitations to hang out with them outside of class because that's what friends do, and then having them try to corner me and kiss me, which results in me having to fight down the urge to run screaming into the night while kicking myself for being so stupid as to think someone would want to ever be friends with me, and them sitting around b*tching to their friends about how girls are sooo unclear about their intentions. Because of course there is nothing whatsoever vague about being asked if you want to hang out and watch movies on Friday night by someone who you've chatted with in class a couple times."</p>
<p>Straight from the horses mouth. The verdict? Stop being pussies and be straightforward. Asking a girl to come watch a movie may show romantic interests, but if you have been ASEXUAL in your interactions with her thus far, she's only left to assume you are going to be moe ASEXUAL. STOP BEING NEUTRAL. Be MASCULINE, the feminine is attracted to the masculine, its how nature works, and you aren't going to change that. Sometimes you have to stop trying to logic a woman to death and just make her feel good, because thats what most women want, someone who makes them feel good when no noe else can you dig?</p>
<p>So first off, start touching more. Thats no groping, touching. And I mean from the beginning of talking to someone, hug/shake hands when you meet, when telling a joke or something put your hand on their shoulder to emphasize things, just constantly touch people (without becoming ADD with it). People are STARVING for touch, ESPECIALLY IN AMERICA, where everyone is kind of closed off. It builds rapport. Your smile is key too, if you don't look like you are enjoying yourself, why would they wanna talk to you? Confidence must be displayed, that means keep your head, walk straight no hunched over shoulders, speak clearly and loudly, not as if you expect people to disagree and walk over you. Get a good haircut, if you wear glasses you should generally change to contacts (trust me they are so much more convenient, and even though alot of people think they looked distinguished with glasses, chances are you don't look all that great. Trust me, I used to rock my glasses like air forces in the 90s but since ive got contacts things are just better in gneral).</p>
<p>Third, mightynick you are doing a few things:
1. Over analyzing situations with girls. Obviously that girl wasn't giving you the jerk eyes if she asked you that, what really happened is that you got nevous and scared and you projected your fears onto her, and then y ou started to "see" things that weren't there. Inversely if you get too arrogant alot of guys end up being crushed by their own hubris thinking that every girl wants them, the solution? STOP JUMPING TO EXTREMES.</p>
<p>BP got it straight, he realized that its not a date if only one of you think it is. Your sexuality should come across clearly when you first meet a woman, you are a man. Don't break eye contact when a girl looks at you, why would you do that? Her gaze doesn't bun, and its been proven scientifically that people are more likely to respond positively to someone who will keep eyhe contact rahter than those who aren't, and for you business majors out there, this advice goes double in the business world. Just sit back and observe how the most successful are often leaned back, looking comfortable in their own skin, giving everyone piercing eye contact when talking to them. Why do you think James bond is a figure for male masculinity. They all DO THESE THINGS, you don't have to change yourself, thingsi n body language are hte most important anyway. Certain studies show that 93% of communication is NON VERBAL. The other 7% is verbal. Thats why its not what you say, its how you say it. It's like when a girl you find sexy desribes something in a low whisper to you, even if its not sexual, you can still get turned on if shes licking her lips, flashing a sexy smile, whatever. Its the same things, girls are turned on by confidence and being extroverted, not being a shy wimp who complains in his room about women.</p>
<p>Oh and for the record, I have friends that are girls. Alot of them are really hot, some used to be girlfriends or friends girlfriends or something, and alot of times its good to have friends that are girls. THey are so much more prepared and look out for me (schoolwork, driving places, fashion, etc) whenever I need them. **** just make 3 girl friends and see how much your life and outlook can change. I have three brutally honest friends that are girls, one guys routinely call a ***** cuz she rejects them in the harshest manner, yet I make fun of this igrl, tease her, etc, and we're great friends. Its hilarious seeing her shoot down guys and then telling me some reason I would have NEVER thought about. stops me from making the same mistake :p. <3 women .</p>
<p>Anyway bro, you need to change the BAD things about yourself, not the good things. That means speaking up, being manly, showing confidence, etc, I'm not telling you to change yourself at all. I'm saying improve what you have right now.</p>
<p>
[quote]
MightyNick i know where ur comin from man, indian girls can be kinda **<strong><em>y sometimes. there's some nice ones out there no doubt, but a lot of them DO come off as majorly *</em></strong>*y. </p>
<p>btw is ur actual name Nikhil ~_~
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Haha how did you know?</p>
<p>
[quote]
And I mean from the beginning of talking to someone, hug/shake hands when you meet, when telling a joke or something put your hand on their shoulder to emphasize things, just constantly touch people (without becoming ADD with it). People are STARVING for touch, ESPECIALLY IN AMERICA,
[/quote]
</p>
<p>What if she accuses me of sexual harrasment and I end up behind bars? </p>
<p>I'm blaming you for it.</p>
<p>"Haha how did you know?" </p>
<p>lol cuz one of my friend's brother's name is Nikhil, and he goes by Nick too</p>
<p>Haha that's cool. There are so many people with my name...over 500 on facebook!!!</p>
<p>anyway, back to the main topic. I'm not too experienced with white girls, mostly since i dont' get much attention from them and also because i dont' give them much attention...i can say that indian girls can be b****y. I don't know why they find the ghetto douchebags so attractive. </p>
<p>But I do know, they will not go out of their way to start a conversation, whereas white girls might.....provided that you're a white guy.</p>
<p>
[quote]
There's a difference between hanging out and just talking. You can talk to them in class, or outside of class...that doesn't mean anything. When it comes to hanging out or meeting someone outside of class, and especially if the GIRL initiates that, guys get the signal that you like him.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Wouldn't talking to someone outside of class automatically mean that you're meeting with the person outside of class in some way? I guess I'm supposed to know what the difference between "talking" and "hanging out" is. If some guy who I talk to inside and outside of class sometimes is working in the labs at the same time I am, and he happens to remark that he's hungry and I say that I am too, and he suggests we go down the road and get food at the pizza place next door, is that "talking", "hanging out", a "date", or none of the above? (He, apparently, assumed that it was a date, btw). Again, there aren't any signals there.</p>
<p>There's an amusing thread over in the parent forum about female-male communications where someone translates "I told you that" in male-speak as this: "I thought about providing you that information, and although I may not have actually spoken the words out loud, the very fact that I thought it, should qualify as communication." Stop blaming other people for their inability to read your mind.</p>
<p>I need girls...I crave them desperately...so desperately...the need is growing and I must have a girl...right now! Someone please help me...to find a girl...please help me lest I lose my sanity and post on another request. Please. Please help me to find girls.</p>
<p>The best advice I have seen on this post, by far, is from hyakku. I should just stop here, but I can't resist adding a few statements. But what he said was really enough.</p>
<p>1) A lot of women are flirtatious because they like attention. Some men get suckered into giving this kind of attention thinking "well, maybe she'll come around." My friend, more of the same is not better. If she's not into you now, chances are big she's not going to be into you more if you just dote on her.</p>
<p>2) "Be natural, be yourself" Yes, don't be a fake. People can smell fakes a mile away. But work with what you have and get some game. Women want men to act like men whatever they tell you. That doesn't at all mean you should be a pig. It means you should be confident. It means you should be fun, yourself, smile, etc. </p>
<p>Dress yourself up, work on your game, and don't listen to people who are jealous or who don't know what they're talking about. I spent way too much time dithering and intellectualizing about this. Then one day I just got cocky (not in a piggish, but nice way) and suddenly I could meet women anywhere. Flirt, get phone numbers, etc. Until you get more confident in your game, you won't have game. Take baby steps, make mistakes (try making mistakes with women you won't see again, if you can. 'Cause if you practice to ineptly on women you're around all the time, it can backfire and torch your confidence.)</p>
<p>Women like you to have a life, to have things going on, to seem attractive not just to them but to other women. I had a friend tell me: "If you want a girlfriend get a girlfriend." Meaning if you want women to be attracted to you, go out with one of them. The others will like it. Awhile ago I fell in love with this really sexy German girl. She wasn't interested, but she introduced me to her friend who wanted to bed me. I wouldn't do it, because I was in love with her friend. I told this story recently to a woman (who happens to be French) and she told me exactly what I had figured out later: I should have slept with her friend. Why? Because then she would have realized that I was attractive to other women, and her interest would have been piqued. And I would have gotten what I wanted: her as my girlfriend.</p>
<p>3) You want women to tell you what they want? What if they don't know, exactly? What if they are waiting for you to fill in the blanks? Look respect women, above all. No is no and all that. But in my experience, when the mood is right and you move things from friendly to "amorous" a woman will be open to that. If she isn't, she can tell you. That gets easier to take the older you are, I'll admit, but it's not the end of the world at all. You've got to make the move. You've got to have the game. You don't just take the ball inbounds and put it up for a shot down the court, you work it up the court (being yourself and applying the game) and at the right moment you put it up.
But if you ask for permission verbally (rather than through a thousand gestures, touches, and smiles), you're going to have potential for romance with far fewer women.</p>
<p>4) I had this experience in a bar where this very hot woman was eyeing me and then came over to stand next to me. I started to chat with her (I don't really recall what I said, but it wasn't much more than "hey"), and she got cool really fast. Well, a b**** is a b*****. I would have licked my wounds a few years ago and wondered if I said something wrong. God what an idiot I was. In this case, I just moved on, not too offended (it's just part of the whole dance), and the next night I got four phone numbers from women some of whom were just as hot. Don't dwell. And don't blame yourself. Sometimes women are very "schizophrenic" about wanting attention. I mean she had initiated this whole thing effectively. Unfortunately, American women seem to have this "schizophrenia" more than others in general. But not always.</p>
<p>Another time: I saw an attractive women at a bar party I was at, and we started dancing together. Then we started talking, and without realizing it, I was leaning my right hand on her left shoulder as I leaned in to talk to her in the loud, crowded bar. It wasn't even conscious and it wasn't meant to grope or touch or offend. But at one point she stopped me and said: "It makes me uncomfortable when you touch me" and kind of pulled away. Well, I was stunned. I had hardly realized I was doing it as I said. And for a split second I wondered if I had done something inappropriate, but I concluded I clearly hadn't. So I did only what I could: I said: "Wow, I am really sorry if anything I did or said seemed too forward. Have a great night." And walked away. And within an hour I was making out with a woman I was much more attracted to upstairs who was really touch-feely with me from the start. Some women are cold or aren't interested or don't know what they want. It's absolutely within her rights to not want me to touch her, but this goes to hyakku's point about Americans being afraid of touch; I meant nothing by it. Unfortunately in my experience it tends to be more the case with American women. But just move on. Don't blame yourself. Be confident. Be respectful. Get game.</p>
<p>Charizardpal: I just saw your post, my friend. You should rub it out, but try not to get in that habit too much. Rub it out, and then figure out a way to meet one who can give you what you want or need. Do you have any options on the horizon? It seems that your need/desire may be far outpacing your abilities to get that need or desire fulfilled. Work on your abilities.</p>
<p>^ haha. Trust me, there's nothing THAT great about them. </p>
<p>Anyway, i need some female advice.</p>
<p>There's this girl that I dont' even know that well...we meet occasionally and just say hi/hello w/e. She sends me a message saying, "we should hang out more often, and you should be my study buddy for this class" (we have the same class, but different sections). </p>
<p>So, is she hinting anything, or am i overanalyzing?</p>
<p>great post BedHead. Just a question...are you really good looking? I bet you coz that explains your luck with so many hot women!</p>
<p>Nick, is she doing well in the class by herself, or is she struggling? If it's the latter, then chances are she genuinely wants to share your company, though I can't really speak to whether she likes you or not...</p>
<p>to bedhead...on the confidence thing--you are sooo right! There is nothing worse than a guy who thinks he should ask permission. Sure, it's sweet, but it kinda makes me think, could he protect me if something goes wrong? Plus, it's nice to be with a guy who is confident that he can pick up on body language and know that he probably won't be rejected. There is just something magically attractive about it..couldn't tell you in a million years why that is.</p>
<p>This is just an aside, but big hugs are plain awesome, but only if the guy is bigger than I am....the effect is kind of lost if he is narrower than I am and weighs less, too! :D</p>
<p>MightyNick: Two things: I am better than average looking, but not a stunner. The bigger thing is I am older than you, probably by a long shot. So I've had time to learn from my mistakes. You, I hope, can learn from my mistakes too. I can tell you the looks thing helps, but its overrated. It's overrated for the reasons that hyakku said: women see differently than men. I mean, take adult movies for example. You may think they're creepy and gross, and I don't have to tell you what I think. But men watch these things in much greater quantities than women do. Men are much more into looks and voyeurism. Women see personality much more, how they're treated, etc.</p>
<p>I know you may say, easy for me to say. But I am not THAT good looking.</p>
<p>Thanks, MissMichelle. Well, there is some feedback right from the source, no?</p>
<p>I hope my movie example didn't step over anybody's line.</p>
<p>Dude...you live in Princeton, NJ??? I'm from princeton, NJ too!!</p>
<p>But yeah...since you're better than average looking, you have confidence! And I'm not sure how i look so that makes me less confident at times.</p>
<p>I guess personality is more important for women, but it can be hard to work on it too...</p>
<p>MightyNick: Regarding the woman in your class. You don't have to figure out what she wants. You only have to know what you want. Don't wait for a green light, though it seems that she's giving you one in a pretty straightforward way. But before you make a move to show her your interest, promise me you'll do one thing, okay? Be patient. Don't be overeager. And go and ask other women to go out with you for coffee, to the movies, whatever. Get another date or two lined up before you ask her out. This might not be as feasible for you, 'cause you may be at a small school or something. But work on this. It does two or three things psychologically: 1) it builds your confidence in your ability to do this; 2) when you go out with her, you won't think it's the end of the world if nothing works out; 3) so long as you haven't made or implied any romantic promises to one girl, you will be more attractive to the others if they know you get dates. (But don't announce that you have other dates, obviously.)</p>
<p>I know it seems paradoxical. But it's your best bet.</p>