<p>currently i am having problems with the ladies. the problem is very odd. i am pretty good looking (and its not just me who thinks this :)) and i have a good personality etc. the problem is that when i find a girl i like I start acting real real sketchy/weird around them, thus my problem is confidence. what do i do, because these girls keep coming and going and im not doing anything, because i am afraid and it is killing me!!!!!!!!!
AGHHH!</p>
<p>My problem is similar, except it's because of an old high school tactic that I still use.</p>
<p>You see, in high school, I never tried to be romantic at all so that I wouldn't risk ruining any friendships (anyone who has ever been through high school breakups knows about this). I wound up as the only one who had kept all of the females as friends by the time I graduated but I was also the only one who never was in a relationship!</p>
<p>It's sort of like a ballplayer who can hit the home runs but chooses not to and focuses on average. I'm like the .352 hitter who had maybe two home runs where some of the other guys may have hit 29 homers but also hit .244 with a load of strikeouts. Ballplayers on here can understand the analogy. (I also bat sort of like this in real life as a ballplayer--just so-so power but good average, and most of the HRs are clutch)</p>
<p>However, when those girls had problems with other guys (often my close friends), they'd turn to me as the shoulder to cry on. So my role was probably more important than I ever thought.</p>
<p>Confidence wasn't my problem. Unless you count the fact I didn't want to have any parents objecting to things...like the fact I wanted to ask a freshman to prom as a senior and I already knew her mom didn't want her daughter going out with one of my best buddies who was also a senior.</p>
<p>just don't be sketchy around girls and don't be over self confident. I knew a guy like that and... yeah i no longer talk to him. Also try not to touch people too much (that guy also liked to touch people a little bit too much)and don't call people like 10 times when they don't pick up. maybe there's a reason.</p>
<p>AFPrep - Actually, since you've never been in a single relationship, you're probably batting around .000 in terms of romantic male-female interactions. Unless you'd really rather be friends a pretty girl then be in a relationship with her, in which case you're not who this thread is targeted to so. You can be friends with anyone in the world so friendship interactions are regardless of gender and a completely different category than romantic ones. Think of your baseball analogy with romantic interactions more like this, every girl that you met was a pitch, and you never even swung, so of course you'd never get a single hit.</p>
<p>ufw - You're never going to have any success with women unless you start approaching. The reason is is females have the approach anxiety you have times ten. If you cant make a move and be vulnerable to rejection, think about how hard itd be for a girl to do the same. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a sign of strength. Just keep working at it.</p>
<p>I think you need to find out that even "studs" get their fair share of rejections. It's like in an episode of King of the Hill, where Bobby wants to learn from Boomhauer how to become a ladies man, and it turns out what Boomhauer does is approach strangers until he finds the 1-in-a-100 girl who'll actually give him a chance.</p>
<p>I don't know if it's better for the guys or girls in the "first move" etiquette. On one hand, the guys have to deal with rejection anxiety, but on the other hand, girls can only wait, give a few signs, and hope.</p>
<p>ndhawk: With your analogy, I'm a guy who's 0-0 at the plate but has an insane OBP, I guess...unless they were all in the strike zone...</p>
<p>Oh dear, ufw, do I know you? Anyway, a little friendly advice from someone on the receiving end of some sketchy/weird behavior. You need to be confident enough to not be afraid to treat girls that you like normally. If you start acting really differently around girls you like, you'll come off as desperate and freak them out. But don't get too overconfident either. Keep the touchy feely stuff to a minimum unless you know it doesn't bother them (like, if, for instance, they reciprocate). If they flinch when you touch them, stop (this seems obvious, but apparently its not...). If a girl doesn't answer your calls, don't keep stalking her. Back off a bit and see if she initiates conversation, etc- then you'll know if she's actually interested in hanging out with you. Because if you are always the one calling/iming/showing up at her dorm and aren't particularly perceptive, you will never know. Just because she doesn't tell you to go away doesnt mean she's thrilled you are around. Lastly, if you are interested in her, don't just hover around her. Work up the courage to ask her out- on a date, just to hang out, whatever. This gives you a chance at having a relationship with her or her a chance to nicely tell you if shes not interested, which gives you a chance to move on and find someone who is. I'm sorry if any of this seems kind of harsh. Good luck!</p>
<p>dont look desperate. the more time u spend with girls the better you'll get. if it helps start out with ugly ones (not to sound mean) but they are more aproachable. be yourself. keep trying.</p>
<p>afprep: by my analogy, you've never been on base, thatd require having started the relationship, one base is 1/4 of the way, walks cant exist in this analogy</p>
<p>Sure walks can exist in this analogy and so can Hit By Pitch. Let's see if we can clarify this analogy.</p>
<p>Hit: When you get to do something with a girl. This is a mutual thing that doesn't involve money (you'll see what I mean later). Could be as little as a kiss, or as far as sex.</p>
<p>Strikeout: When you're basically rejected or turned down by the girl. Usually this consists of either striking out swinging, meaning you tried, or striking out looking, meaning you almost tired but didn't and as a result didn't get anywhere with the girl.</p>
<p>Walk: A walk would be when you're with the girl and she's just so easy that it doesn't even take a hit to get to first. It's just like bam it just happens.</p>
<p>Intentional Walk: When you reach the status of someone like Barry Bonds where you're just too damn good and you automatically get on base (first). it doesn't mean you'll get walked intentionally a lot, but if you've managed to do this then you've got game and the girls obviously like it (the pitchers respect you).</p>
<p>SB: When you're already on base and you keep moving up. It's like a continuous thing resulting from whatever got you on base to begin with (walk, hit, or hbp). So say you start off at first base, kissing, then steal two bases and end up at third, a bj, then it would be like advancing two bases. Sometimes you might just reach first and never steal. But I think it's irrelevant to ever share the bases you've stolen because all that really matters is how far you get.</p>
<p>Hit by Pitch: A hit by pitch isn't really a skill so it can be two things: taking a hit for a team because you know you can't get the hit or walk (meaning you end up paying the girl or maybe even raping her) OR because the pitcher is wild and hit you (meaning you didn't even have to try because she did all the work).</p>
<p>Reached on Base by Error: Thats when you catch a girl that somehow mistakenly ends up hooking up with you (this could mean reaching any of the bases). Hey it happens in baseball, not that often, but it does.</p>
<p>I think I covered everything as far as getting on base. Now who wants to cover getting outs like DP (Double Play) and TP (Triple Play) hahaha.</p>
<p>Screw what I said I think this is hilarious and explains baseball sex analogies.</p>
<p>haha,
I'm like the opposite of a stalker. I kind of snub/avoid these girls. Gahh! it is just so frustrating, because I don't think these girls like me, but my friends tell me they do, but I don't know what to do, how to progress from there. It is maddening!</p>
<p>i used <a href="http://www.becomeaplayer.com%5B/url%5D">www.becomeaplayer.com</a> to be what i am now</p>
<p>I didn't mean to take the baseball analogy any further than that you have to swing to do anything, and that the dude needs to start approaching, but whatever, its all good.</p>
<p>Hmmm...that basically makes me that Rule 5 draft pick who rides the bench all year just to keep him on the roster...</p>
<p>My baseball systems are WAY different from yours...basically, stuff isn't all based on romance. Batting average is how successful someone is everywhere, not just romantically. PM me if you want more details, because as they say, "it's complicated".</p>
<p>Wow can any amount of online help increase this guy's chance of scoring some tail in college?</p>