S19 has asked two of his teachers for recommendations. He’s very sure that they are the teachers who know him the best. We had parent/teacher conferences in January and these teachers gave me good reasons to believe that they think extremely highly of S19. They gave me details that make me believe they will both write strong recommendations. That being said, I’ve heard from parents who have older kids that our teachers have never received any training on how to write these letters. I’ve been reading articles on how to write a strong rec and it’s not as easy as it sounds. Teachers sometimes don’t use good examples, or don’t make it personal enough, or use adjectives that are overused.
I know both of these teachers a little bit. I volunteer at school and I’ve run into each of them a few times other than our meeting and they’ve always been very friendly. When S19 gives them his “self-survey” to help them write their recs, I’m wondering if it’s ok for him to also give them some articles on how to write a good rec. I’m absolutely certain that they want to help him be successful in admissions. Maybe he can say upfront that the tipping points for him will be his essays and his recs and he’s so thankful for their writing on his behalf. He’s just including some articles he found to try to make it easier for them. I honestly think that, knowing his relationship with these teachers, he could pull this off but I don’t know if it’s just too weird.
Anyone else looking into what strong recommendations need to look like and worried that well-meaning teachers maybe just won’t hit the mark even though they feel strongly about the student?
As a teacher, I’d be offended if a student gave me advice on how to write a recommendation letter. Let it go. This is one area that you, as a parent, cannot control. You could very well make things worse for your son. From your previous posts, you indicate that your son goes to a good public school. I’m sure the teachers have written recommendation letters before.
I agree that your son should not give his teachers advice on how to write letters of recommendation. I am sure that his teachers have written these letters before. Let the process play out and the right schools will accept him.
I agree 100% with @scholardad . Do not have your son provide articles on how to write a good rec. It may come off as condescending, controlling, smug, and you certainly don’t want even a hint of that coming through in a rec. Instead have your S do a great job with his ‘brag’ sheet, using powerful language and written in a way he would like his rec to be written. You could also check with your college counselor and ask if those particular teachers write strong letters. With my D1, she asked a wonderful teacher for a rec, but we had some concerns that her rec might be too brief or formulaic. We asked the college counselor about it and she reassured us that this teacher writes fabulous letters. Our counselors read them all too, so in the case that there is a lackluster rec, they might send it back for edits
Thanks everyone. I really hope this post didn’t come off the wrong way. I appreciate the feedback. I guess I’m just worried about the whole process. I hope we are making the right list. I hope this will work out for S19. @wisteria100 Thx for your specific advice about the brag sheet. That makes a lot of sense.
I would try not to make the brag sheet a repeat of the common app or guidance letter. Maybe your son can include things that are specific to that particular class: perhaps he tutored, maybe there was a question that had the class stumped and he helped solve the problem, maybe there were questions he asked during class that helped spark a debate or conversation, etc.
My daughter’s recommenders requested a resume and talked to her at length so they were clear about what her college goals were. Beyond that, there isn’t much else to do and yes, it is a leap of faith that the teachers know how to write a good LOR. This is a scary process because so much is out of ones control but have your child focus on what they can do and let the rest go. You’ll worry yourself sick otherwise.