Going Greek at UCSB

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - Santa Barbara
1

<p>I am a transfer student at UCSB, I transferred here in the fall. Although I am outgoing and chill and I like to party on the weekends, I have had an overall hard time and pretty bad luck meeting people and making good friends here. I was placed in Manzanita Village in the fall, and I had little or no common ground with anyone in my house. The people there hardly ever partied, and they hated the scene out in IV, which frustrated the hell out of me because that prevented me from making friends there. I joined a club on campus several weeks into the fall quarter, and although I have met people there and although I have a decent social life, I don't have a really good one, and I still don't have any good, close friends who I can hang out with regularly. My social life pretty much consists of hanging out at the same house on DP every Friday and Saturday night and once in a while on weeknights where they usually have parties, drinking and smoking, socializing with some people there that I'm "friends" with but not true friends, more like acquiantenses, and that's pretty much it, it's getting old and stale. So far this quarter that house hasn't even had as many parties as they had last quarter.</p>

<p>So anyway, there is a new "colony" of the Kappa Sigma fraternity here right now. A few people suggested frats as a way to meet friends, but I was skeptical becuase it would be risky, but it's late in the school year and I need to figure out the social scene here sooner than later. I got some info on it, they have open meetings every Monday night, and they're still looking for more people, so at this point, I can get in if I want. But I'm not sure if I would be totally satisfied with being in a frat. They seem like such a minority on campus here, and I like the IV party scene and I don't want to be isolated from that. I've been looking for housing in IV the last few months, I've looked at several places, but none have worked out, and I was hoping that getting a place for next year would help me out because I could just become close friends with my housemates and they people they know, etc. All things being equal, I'd rather live in IV with people I'm close friends with than live in a frat house and possibly feel isolated from the non-Greek student body (which is most of the student body here).</p>

<p>My question is, if I really like the people in this new fraternity and they're the kind of people I'll want to be friends with, should I just go ahead and join? Or should I just keep trying to go out of my way to meet people here and make friends that way, although that hasn't really worked? It's real frustrating sometimes becuase I get along with most people here, it's such a chill atmosphere and as far as I can tell I fit in decently with the kind of people at this school and in IV. But due to bad luck I guess I still don't have any really good friends. I had a real solid social life in high school and my JC, I had pretty good friends and a large network of people, and I was expecting to have a relatively easy time establishing that here. I really want to have my social life figured out by the end of this quarter, because I'm already almost halfway through my college career and I haven't had nearly as much fun as I want to have here at UCSB.</p>

2

<p>If its been almost a whole school year, and you aren't that happy with your social life, and you think its what you want to do, join. Greeks get a bad rap (I live in Chico, and if you've read the news lately, you might know what I'm talking about...), and there are some frats that are pretty shady. But a lot of successful people have been Greek, and the friendships they make last a life time. Personally, I don't see the Greek life in my future, but I can understand why someone would.</p>

3

<p>One thing I'm not sure about is, at most schools there is a certain "prestige", if you will, with being in a frat, because it is traditionally the epitome of college life. But here at UCSB, the scene on Del Playa dominates the party scene, and I've gone to only one frat party early in the year, so I don't know if there is that same prestige with the frats here, or if it is more of a "cop out" solution for people like me who for whatever reason are having a hard time making friends and networking. I think in all likelihood I am going to join, especially since I can quit at any time if I decide it isn't for me. But I want to feel proud of being in a fraternity and not feel like I had to "resort" to that, becuase being in a frat seems like something you should be proud of. Can anyone here who goes to UCSB tell me more about how the frat scene is here and what the general "image" of them is here, so I can get a better sense of it and if I would fit in?</p>

4

<p>Save your money. I'll be your new true friend =) I really feel bad for you as my experience living in Manzanita is the entire opposite of yours. Most in our house like to party and we throw parties regularly in our room. We know each other really well and we do lots of fun stuff together as a house. Don't give up, u just need to meet the right people. Also, I go to DP often and has never gone to the same house....There are a lot of houses to crash. Be spontaneous and don't be shy. Students that go to DP are generally very friendly.</p>

5

<p>
[quote]
I had a real solid social life in high school and my JC, I had pretty good friends and a large network of people, and I was expecting to have a relatively easy time establishing that here.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I am currently in my 2nd year @ my JC. To be honest, I am getting scared now. why?</p>

<p>.....mainly because I am not looking forward to transferring as I once used to. </p>

<p>I know I'm going to transfer to UCSB if I get in, it's a must, otherwise my parents would be ****ed like hell at me,</p>

<p>but you are experiencing my SAME EXACT THOUGHTS as to "meeting new people' and that you have just met "acquaintances" but you don't have any "solid, hard-on" friends to chill with and be buds for LIFE.</p>

<p>ohh how the similarities are so interesting.</p>

<p>I hope you are pullin thru this man, I know how it could feel...</p>

<p>now that i am SITUATED at my JC (i have joined clubs and I honestly LOVE my JC, the people are so kick-back and just awesome), i no longer have a 'high desire' to transfer and leave asap like I once did when I first started my JC about 2 years ago.</p>

<p>because i got SITUATED at my JC. </p>

<p>plus, I had to start from scratch, ALL OVER, after senior year of HS, and making some SOLID friends here now , like high school buddies).</p>

<p>so when I hear "transfer" now, I get worried, because you know what that means,</p>

<p>i have to start from SCRATCH all over again (in terms of social life)</p>

<p>I really don't want to do that again, because it'd be like what the heck, I just started right now with my JC, you know.</p>

<p>that's what totally sucks about transferring. for some it was meant to happen, for others, their JC can be very comforting and fun (close to home, new friends).</p>

6

<p>I am in a fraternity in Santa Barbara and It was the best decision I have ever made. I like going to parties where i know everyone and we are all best friends. Not just the partying but random day to day stuff is just that much more fun when you have a house full of close friends around you. "plinko" some of my good friends are actually the ones starting Kappa Sigma and they are cool dudes. You should definetly check out the greek system.... what do you have to lose?</p>

7

<p>So I went to the Kappa Sigma weekly meeting last Monday (last week), and I didn't see a single guy at the meeting that I felt like I would click well with. And I also felt, as I have all along, that fraternity life isn't for me, so I didn't join, and that's the end of that idea. So I'm back to square one. It just sucks because, as I've said, I've met a fair amount of people in the same "network", I see these people pretty much every weekend and every Tuesday night, but I'm not close friends with any of them. Last week I was hanging out and I asked two of them who seemed pretty friendly to me, "Hey we should hang out sometime," and got their numbers, their phones don't pick up that often though, one of them finally called me back on Sat night and told me to come to a party, but this is the kind of luck I've been having. If only they would pick up their cell phones regularly then I could start hanging out with them and stuff. Oh well, I'll probably see them tonight and ask them about it.</p>

<p>Another thing I'm worried about is getting housing in IV for next year, because I've had very bad luck with that too, I've seen at least 10 places, many of them oceanside on DP, but none of them have worked out, and there's like 5 weeks left in the quarter and I really want to live here during the summer as well as next year, and finding a place to live with a few other guys who need one more roommate is a surefire way to make close friends, and it's a good learning experience to have your own place with your friends in college. This is the kind of luck I've been having, and I've been getting discouraged the last couple weeks after having been very happy and optomistic for most of the year. Is this how hard it's supposed to be for a transfer student, even at a party school like UCSB?</p>

8

<p>I wish all the parents I know who think it's a better idea for their kids to attend community college first and then transfer into the UC system would read your post. When you transfer in halfway through the college experience, you miss out on things.</p>

<p>Never join a fraternity (or sorority) unless you feel comfortable with aligning yourself with that entire group. Remember that these organizations also have a national profile and if you aren't comfortable with your active chapter, you probably won't enjoy the benefits of being an alumni, either. </p>

<p>As a member of a particular fraternity, you are identified by others on campus with the "personality" of that fraternity, and if you don't mesh with that group, most likely you don't want to be thought of by others as one of that group. Even though the Greek system at UCSB is less prominent than at other universities, once you pledge a frat, the other Greeks will pigeonhole you as a member of that frat. Stay independent and patient...keep your head up on campus, smile at people; attend events where you might meet someone new -- maybe go to something at Campbell Hall?</p>

9

<p>baller4lyfe and Dizzymom - I know it's harder for people to make friends and figure out the social scene when they transfer instead of starting as a freshman, but I've just had bad luck, and my dorm situation at the beginning of the year was what really screwed me up. I thought there would definetely be people in the dorms that I would click with and want to be friends with, and although I was kind of concerned with how easy (or hard) it would be to establish friends in the first week or so, I probably would've if there were actually people in my dorm like that, and I could've just went from there and networked. The worst thing about this is that I've had to focus so much of my energy on my social life, and I haven't been able to have it be a constant so that I could focus most of my energy on studying and getting good grades, the way it SHOULD be in college. I still have faith that I will figure it out by the end of this quarter, but time is running out, and there is a realistic chance that I won't ever fully experience college life.</p>

<p>My advice to people like baller4lyfe is to definetely transfer, a "real" college like UCSB is so much better than a JC overall, it's so much better living on your own, away from your parents. Part of going to college is growing into a fully muture adult, by being a communal environment. Even though I haven't fully experienced that, I've learned so much about myself this year, mostly positive stuff. I've felt real proud to not just be going to college, but my dream college that's seemingly a perfect fit for me. Just do research on which would be the best dorm - maybe I made a mistake by choosing Manzanita as my first choice, instead of San Rafael - both are for transfers, but I've heard Manzanita is not that social, and San Raf is mostly 4, 6, or 8-person suites, which is better for making close friends when you move in. Also try visiting campus or going to orientation, I didn't go because I would've had to wake up at like 4 and do orientation all day on only 2-3 hours of sleep :(, but maybe that's a way to meet a few people, so that you'll know a few people when school starts. And as I said, I had such bad luck with my dorm situation at the start of the year, I really doubt you'll have the same problem as long as you fit in well enough at this school (or any school).</p>

10

<p>a lot of frats sublease rooms in the summer, and that would be a good place for you to spend a summer with the guys in the frat that do stay in the summer and then really see if you cant click with them. If you need a place to live next year I have a few friends who need someone to take their spots for next year! One is on DP, and the other 2 I dont know where they are.... but post back if you are interested.</p>

11

<p>tncpauld, thanks, I think I'm looking at a place tonight, but I'm not sure if it will work out, so I'm definetely interested in those 2-3 places you mentioned for next year, I'd apprectiate it if you tell me about them and the info and stuff, but I don't know how we can do that on this board.</p>

12

<p>^^^ tncpauld, I think if you go to my public profile by clicking on my username, you can send me an email from that profile by clicking on something, in case you didn't know. I briefly met with 3 guys who are looking for one more roommate, but I'm not sure if I'll be completely compatiable with them, and this place is on Sueno, so I definetely want to look at other places too, especially the one on DP you mentioned, so just email me so we can work something out and give me the info and stuff, and reply here to let me know you emailed me, thanks!</p>

13

<p>^^^^^ bump</p>

14

<p>im going to the city school and would like to join a frat... i was wondering can kids that go to the city school join frats too. ive lived by NIU and been to frat parties all my life and love the greek life..</p>

15

<p>If you mean City College, many fraternities will accept SBCC students, but it's kind of on an informal basis. You won't be assigned a roll number or officially initiated until you transfer to UCSB.</p>