So, I’ve pretty much decided that I will be attending a college in my hometown, roughly a 10 minute drive from my house. Although I never in a million years thought I would be going, it seems to be the right place for me for a number of reasons. The one sticking point for me is the fact that it is so close to home. I live in a small town (10,00 people), and I am worried that I will never get to have my own college experience without my parents hanging over my shoulder checking in on me.
Has anyone else had an experience like this? Can I still become my own person in college even though my dad is a professor there? Would this mean that I would never get the opportunity to explore the party scene at my college (my parents are very strict). Any opinions would be greatly appreciated!
Will you be living in the dorms?
If not, can you convince your parents to let you stay in the dorms (if they’re worried about parties, agree to Substance-free housing or a Healthy Living Living Learning COmmunity! Still better than living at home…)
Haha yes, I’ll be living on campus in a dorm for sure! But they are very concerned about which dorm I live in (for instance, the East wing is a party wing so they would never let me house there). I just think it will be weird to see them around town! Or to even have a class that my dad teaches!
This will have to be an agreement between you and them - to let you live your own life now (within the usual parameters of keeping whatever grades are required). And I certainly wouldn’t take a class from my father.
DO NOT take a class your dad teaches. Unless it’s a mandatory class and there is no other available section and you really can’t find another way through the campus exchange or study abroad or something. I don’t think it’s even possible, how could he grade you fairly? Either he’d favor you (or be open to suspicions of favoritism), or, to deflect any suspicion, would grade you more harshly!
It seems like most kids who grow up in a college town either love it and go there or hate it and go far away. As for you, having a parent faculty isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Don’t take classes from your dad, but use his expertise to determine which profs are good to take.
Okay, thanks everyone. I am not planning on taking a class that my dad teaches (as he is in the math department and my intended major is psychology), but I do know many of the professors personally already. For instance, I have been a babysitter for two of the professors in the psychology department and am very good friends with the daughter of another. Unfortunately, it is inevitable that I will have to take a class with someone that I know personally.
It’s fine to know some professors, of course!
Just don’t take a class with your dad.
For psychology, you’ll have to take a minimum of 1 statistics class but it’s highly recommended you take more.
I know of many “hometown” students who deal with it as an OOS would. They don’t go home until Thanksgiving, etc. if you wish let your parents know that is how you’d like to proceed. But then you can’t run home to have your laundry done.
My S went to college about 20 minutes away for the same reason – after an extensive search, it was just the right place for him. We had a long discussion before and made an agreement – we would never pop by, call to say we are in the area, or expect him home other than for vacations and in return he would not come home to have dinner, do laundry etc. And we all stuck to our agreement. I’d have that discussion with your family.
The closeness was helpful at times (ex. when his computer broke I drove down with an old one we had at home for him to use until his was fixed etc.) and yes, we did meet up once in a while other than vacation but that was the exception not the rule. He had a very full college life and for him there was no downside to being so close. (And he went to grad school halfway across the country.)
I know a lot of people who go to college near their homes (maybe farther away than 10 minutes). I’ve never heard of anyone having a problem. My nephew is about 45 minutes away, comes home when he needs a little quiet, to do laundry, to work for the day (he works for his uncle most Saturdays). My friend’s son and niece attended the college in their town, loved to come to her house every Sunday for dinner and laundry.
Embrace the good things about being close. I bet you’ll have a lot of friends who want to crash at your parents’ home for a day or two before and after breaks, store their stuff in your garage for the summer, use your mom’s sewing machine in an emergency.
@Readingaddict97, I attended UT-Austin, about 20 minutes from my house. And I had my dad for two classes! I was lucky that he was an excellent professor, well-liked by the other students. I just worked my tail off to make sure I deserved A’s in his classes.
I thought it worked well. I could go home if I wanted, but otherwise I stayed on campus and did fine.
My future husband ended up coming to UT for grad school after calling the university and talking to my dad! Dad got him a research assistantship. DH and I had two classes together and were engaged within three months of meeting. Dad was DH’s supervising professor! All in the family, I guess. It was hard for DH to stop calling Dad, “Dr. ___” after we were married.
Oh, and it was actually kind of funny when other students were intimidated by professors I had grown up with. Some of them babysat me when I was very young. I didn’t realize that one of them was a world-famous engineer! Even my co-workers in the northeast knew of him.
Haha that’s great! There are quite some perks of knowing many of the profs already. I’ve babysat for them, gone to their houses for department cookouts with my dad, and am friends with most of their kids. It’ll all work out.
