Hey everyone,
I know that I am very lucky to be accepted into a college and to have the chance and circumstances to go to college at all, but I feel like the place I’m going to isn’t right for me.
I’m currently a high school senior that just accepted my place at a great university in my hometown (which is a major city). I’m trying to double major in linguistics or anthropology, or possibly go into archaeology. The college I’m attending is my only sensible option because the other schools I was accepted at are all too expensive, or are even less invested in the departments I’m interested in than the school I’m going to (which does not actually have two of those three majors). I’m opting to major in French for the time being. I also spoke with a professor from the foreign languages department who told me if I wanted to really commit to languages or anything in sociology/anthropology, this school is not the right place for me (it is much more STEM focused).
My other issue is that I have also grown up around this university my entire life because my mom works there, both my parents went to school there, and my brother went there. Now, this is great for me financially because I get a (very slightly) reduced tuition, but it doesn’t feel like I will truly be able to be myself there. I want to go to a place that feels my own where I can branch out from what I’ve been accustomed to and get out of my comfort zone. I also don’t want to be in the beck and call of my parents (I will live 8 minutes away from them), who are going through marital problems to the extent that they told me they were getting a divorce, but now decided to stay together with not much improvement. I have a lot of personal issues myself that I want to be able to work out, and I think getting new surroundings and a new perspective could help me with them, along with my studies.
Basically, my university can’t offer me what I need and I personally don’t feel good about going there. I got waitlisted at the university I wanted to go to in-state (which is the only realistic school I could find for my $$ and grades that offers all of my majors). Every time I think about the future I just feel kind of stuck and sad, even though I know this isn’t really all bad. I want to try and transfer if I I get rejected from the waitlist, but that’s a year away. Should I just suck it up because that’s life? I don’t know what to do or how to feel. Does anyone have any advice?
As someone who is planning to transfer anyway, you just need solid intro level classes. Is there a community college that is less stem-focused and where there is no parent working on campus?
Depending on your stats and budget, you can also check out the NACAC space available list in May.
It is very hard to comment without knowing the name of the university.
However, most students are significantly limited by financial constraints in terms of which universities they can attend.
I didn’t want to say just bc I’m very wary of putting stuff online, but it’s NC State. I already accepted my place there, but even if I did go to Wake tech I would have to live at home and that’s not something I feel like I can do. The only schools that offer these programs are Duke and UNC-Chapel Hill, but I couldn’t afford Duke anyway and I’m doubtful that Carolina will accept me. I don’t have the budget to go anywhere out of state, but I feel like that’s what I’ll have to do to pursue what I need if UNC is off the table. That’s why I feel stuck, and I want to change my mindset but it’s become difficult for me to be optimistic.
I’ve been looking online, and I can take one class at UNC per semester with NC State’s inter-institutional program. As you’re planning to transfer yourself, do you think that would give me a larger chance being able to speak on my experience at the school without yet being enrolled?
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply!
Thank you for the NACAC also, I’m looking into it.
NC State has linguistics and anthropology as majors. There also appear to be summer abroad archeology programs. I think maybe you’ve looked past some of the opportunities there because you are so familiar with the school.
What is your budget? How far afield are you willing to look in order to find an appropriate college or university?
The reason that I ask is that a wild though came to mind. There are a few universities in Eastern Canada with a good Anthropology program, a good language program, and a total cost of attendance of less than $30,000 per year in US dollars even for international students. At least one, St Francis Xavier, also has an Archaeology stream within their Anthropology program and is still accepting applications for September. There are a few others for which the application deadline is past, or which don’t have Anthropology, but I am not sure whether there are others that you could still consider for starting in September 2018.
Of course the NACAC is also worth looking at.
Often the NACAC schools have openings, but little FA or merit available.
So when you posted, I was picturing a branch campus with a limited choice of majors. NC State is big enough to offer a wide variety of opportunities.
Last year I posted a list of notable schools on the list, ALL of which still had FA available.
NC isn’t your last choice, because you applied to it. THere are 3000 other schools you didn’t apply to.
One thing to keep in mind is that this is the oldest you have ever been You don’t know what it is like to be older…you only see your life now. If you went somewhere else and took out loans, you in 10 years wuold probably not think it worth it. More money or less money you would have a degree… You still have the rest of your life to get away from your parents and do your own thing.
So how can you figure out how to find your own niche at NC? Can you talk to your parents and tell them that you understand that this makes the most sense financially, but you want to be able to live like you are hours away…live on campus and not go home/be called all the time. Figure out your own activities/traditions/greeklife that you want to do.
Here’s what I’m getting: you’ve talked about budget issues being a factor multiple times. NC State will give you the education you want within budget and won’t put you in debt. That’s huge. It’s really no different in most respects than the majority of other big state schools.
I’d advise you to give it a year or two and then apply to transfer to UNC if you still want to, which seems to be the only other school that won’t break the bank from what you are saying.
You really don’t need physical distance to get away from family problems. All you need is independence and emotional distance. You can still claim your adulthood by working part time and going to school to help pay for your living expenses. Apartments are fairly inexpensive in NC if you can get in with a few college roommates. I agree, it’s probably not a good idea to live at home with these kinds of problems going on with your family. You don’t want to get sucked into taking sides.
If you went to NC state would you live in a dorm? If so, I think you should have a sit-down with your parents and explain that you need to be treated as if you’re going far away…no beck and call stuff.
As for getting to “be yourself,” NC State is a large univ. This isn’t like high school where if your parents was a teacher there, he/she would know a lot more about what you’re up to. College isn’t like that.
NCSU is an excellent comprehensive flagship public university. Yes, it does have strengths in science and engineering fields; that doesn’t make it a bad place to study sociology or anthropology. (Most universities don’t have undergraduate archaeology majors; you can get into that by studying anthropology, and NCSU profiles some undergrad anthro majors who have done archaeology fieldwork. Many colleges and universities also don’t have linguistics majors.)
NCSU also offers the study of 13 different languages, which is more than most schools and includes less commonly taught languages like Arabic, Hindi-Urdu, and Persian. So I’m not understanding why NCSU wouldn’t be a good place to study foreign languages? Sure the school may have more emphasis on STEM fields, but is there any indication that they are lacking in the requisite resources for you to learn sociology/anthropology and foreign languages?
You don’t have to go far from home to develop independently or get out of your comfort zone. At a large public university, this is your opportunity to join new clubs, make new friends, try new activities, etc. You don’t need new surroundings to adopt a new perspective and work on yourself.
Go to NCSU and get an excellent education. You can always try to transfer if you still want to after a year, but genuinely try to make it work there and find some things you like and maybe love.
On their page of undergraduate majors, it says they do not have these options. The professor I spoke to in the languages department said they would have a BA linguistics degree in coming years, so I thought they didn’t have it or that the timeline for its creation was just up in the air? My parent has also worked in undergraduate courses and curriculum and told me they’d prefer UNC’s department over NCSU’s. I’m very confused now and I’ll have to do more research because I thought the programs I’m interested in were much more limited, especially because I don’t know a lot about graduate school. If all of these choices are actually available, then I’d be ecstatic. Thank you for the information!
As for the personal, much of it stems more from mental health issues and advice I received from a professional that a change in environment would be beneficial to my recovery. I am not worried about finding my niche or being myself more than I’m nervous if I don’t push myself and leave now, with my current state I won’t be putting myself on the best path for my mental health. I understand that I’m very young and have a lot ahead of me, but, currently, it’s difficult to grasp that idea. Thank you all for your thoughtful comments, they’ve given me a lot to consider.
I agree that NC State is a big place where you can find your niche and your independence from your parents. It in fact has a professor who is one of the foremost figures in linguistics in the country… you’d have an opportunity to take classes from him even as an undergrad. I do understand your wish to get away, but college is a world in itself … and you can get an excellent foundation at NC State.