While @TooOld4School is right in saying that most colleges are LBGTQ friendly that’s not universally true of the areas surrounding them. When you look at colleges I’d consider the towns in which they’re located. How comfortable would you be walking downtown while discretely holding your boyfriend/girlfriend’s hand? Would you have to worry someone would yell something from a car? Are there LGBTQ friendly medical and counseling services available? Will you feel the need to defend your sexuality on the local or state level? Will you have to endure overhearing public conversations about “those people”? Does the town have an active human rights commission?
OP, you are an adult, or close to it. You should not be relying upon “I heard one friend say” information. There are numerous websites by students devoted to college life, some specifically for gays, some not, where you can easily ascertain your likely comfort level at any particular school. As prior posters have noted, that is one factor, and likely not a decisive one-finances, proposed course of study, etc etc will also be major factors. Research is easy these days on the internet.
@intparent tell me about the descriptor “southern school” to describe a school that is not in the Southern US. ?
One indicator of a very inclusive LGBTQ school is gender-neutral housing. I know American has a dorm that is gender-neutral. They also have a very highly rated communications department. ED rates are 85% acceptance. One caveat is to run the NPC because all in the school is about $65,000. So you would need grants/aid to attend. I second the campus pride suggestion for research - they have an index that rates schools as to their LGBTQ friendliness with numerous criteria.
It sounds like you have in state options, but that you are more interested in a change of atmosphere. So I echo those sending you to research schools in the northeast and northwest. But don’t be discouraged if you cannot find the right LAC financial fit. You are always going to find those who hold different beliefs in any school, and there is nothing wrong with that as long as you also find a supportive network. Even traditional southern state schools like LSU have active peer groups for you. And just to object to a previous comment, Washington and Lee’s overwhelming majority of students and certainly the administration are very accepting.
Echoing campuspride.org as a good resource. Also, as you research schools online, check out their campus LGBT groups. Are they active, with lots of fun stuff happening? Is it a dismal office that primarily provides mental health counseling?
Here’s a few in the NE that come to mind as friendly: Ithaca College, Rochester Institute of Technology, UMass-Amherst, American, I’ve heard Rutgers is pretty friendly. There are lots of others but those come to mind as a starting point.
IME these are not hostile but not friendly: Lafayette, Lehigh. That was only my impression from touring and asking, so YMMV.
People here get really defensive on this topic but it definitely is something you should be factoring in to your decision…which is what I assume you are doing. There is a big difference between finding a campus where you will be tolerated and one where you will thrive socially. And maybe date! Lots of posters ask about Greek Life here, and that’s easier to find online, so I don’t see why this question is so often met with such soft derision.
Parent of an LGBTQ young adult child here …
In my opinion, your college search shouldn’t be significantly different from anyone else’s. There’s no separate class of queer colleges; nothing like HBCUs for LGBTQ. So start with the same general questions most people face about budget/FA, selectivity, size, location/setting, academic strengths, etc. You’ll probably want to avoid most so-called Christian colleges, but not necessarily all Catholic colleges (although none would be high on my own kids’ lists).
If you don’t like the climate (temperatures) in the deep South, that’s reason enough to avoid it. But otherwise, you’re probably looking above all for an affordable school with good programs in your intended major.
For a $40K budget, even without FA, many directional state universities on either coast (or the upper midwest) should be affordable. If you want a small school, have a look at some of the Colleges That Change Lives (http://ctcl.org/category/college-profiles/) … but avoid the combination of too small plus too rural if you want to meet many other LGBT people. Clark, Goucher, and Rhodes are in or near cities. Hampshire is part of a 5 college consortium.
Look into Hendrix College. A few years ago a neighbor went there and said very LGBTQ friendly.
@93pilots and @tk21769 , very good suggestions. There are MANY colleges that would fit your bill, especially if you consider broadening your geographical constraints. I am thinking Lewis and Clark in Portland, OR, Juniata in PA, Clark U, Hampshire College, Ithaca, and Kalamazoo. You can also google a list of A+ colleges for B students, and look up the many threads here on CC called colleges for the B student, and similar. There are also a ton of test-optional colleges now, so look up fairtest.org and you will find a complete list.
I agree that there is a lot of choice for LGBTQ students. Asheville is good option, and maybe Miami in Ohio. There are plenty of gay students at colleges all over the country and my guess is that while there will be jerks at almost any school, you will probably find most colleges to be pretty accepting overall.
Consider taking the SAT again, too. Or maybe try the ACT, as some kids do better with one or the other. You are a junior I assume? You have plenty of time to study and try to raise your score, which can be very helpful. There are a few suggestions here that are not realistic for you, including Notre Dame, Lehigh, Lafayette, and Washington and Lee. Some others will be reaches for you, but if you can get your score up, it might help a lot. Keep coming back to CC and ask for advice as your journey progresses.
Getting to UMaine is not a problem. Concord Coach Lines services Bangor, Portland and Boston, with some routes all the way to/from the university. Bangor airport is close to Orono, with flights to JFK, LaGuardia, Newark, Chicago, Philadelphia, Washington DC etc.
The Ohio State University offers a good business school https://fisher.osu.edu/future-students and has a big presence in Columbus which is an LGBT friendly city. http://www.columbusmonthly.com/content/stories/2015/06/rainbow-city-how-columbus-became-so-lgbt-friendly.html tOSU does holistic review and awards OOS merit aid.
avoid: washington and lee, pepperdine, trinity college (ct), notre dame, and (maybe) colgate
add (i highly, highly recommend all of these): macalester, oberlin, grinnell, nyu, vassar, indiana university-bloomington, case western reserve, wesleyan, and connecticut college
Colgate is LGQBT friendly - my son is a current student and, though straight, has attested to that. It’s a truly liberal campus. Vassar, of course would be a good option. Both Colgate and Vassar may be reaches; Vassar less so since you are male. Goucher has a long history as a LGQBT friendly school. Goucher requires a semester abroad and is close to Baltimore.
OP is stating he can’t spend more than ~$40K/year and is therefore looking mainly at OOS publics. There are a lot of excellent private LAC’s being suggested here, but it doesn’t seem to me that these will be practical unless he limits his search to LAC’s where he is in the top 25% stat-wise to get merit aid. (Unless the amount he can spend is really his family’s EFC for need-based aid. If that’s the case, then I’m misunderstanding, and he should go ahead and aim for expensive schools with good financial aid.)
@aquapt ooohhh, lol. i just looked at the first post of the thread. perhaps i should have read the entire thing, lol. 
Op, what’s your EFC?
Lewis and Clark, Ithaca, Goucher would be good choices. Seconding Southern Oregon and UNC Asheville.
Run the NPC.
Although being LBGT is a very important to you now, when you enter college it just isn’t.
Wow, I completely disagree with this. Often LBGT students haven’t had a chance to have a relationship in HS, and want to make sure they are in a welcoming community. A college or area around the college that has a significant population that isn’t welcoming to LGBT students isn’t what they are looking for. Relationships ARE part of the college experience for most students, and it is legit to want to be in an environment where that is okay.
Maryland is south of the Mason-Dixon line. Although you wouldn’t know it from DC and the suburbs, I think it still feels southern when you get down into the area where St. Mary’s is. And they welcome places like Chick Fil A on campus – Chick Fil A’s COO opposed same sex marriage in 2012, and most campuses welcoming LGBT students wouldn’t allow them to serve weekly meals on campus paid for by meal plan dollars, as they are at SMCMD.
I live in New York, and about all religiously unaffiliated schools in the region are LGBT friendly. Some schools that are particularly pro-gay and have large gay populations I know of in the Northeast are:
-Lesley University (MA)
-Suffolk University (MA)
-Bard College (NY)
-Wheaton College (MA)
-Goucher College (MD)
-Skidmore College (NY)
-Clark University (MA)
-Chatham University (PA)
-Juniata College (PA)
-Emerson College (MA)
-Brandeis University (MA)
-The New School (NY)
-Marymount Manhattan College (NY)
-SUNY Purchase College
-SUNY New Paltz
Some schools in the rest of the country:
-Loyola University Chicago (IL)
-University of San Francisco (CA)
-Occidental College (CA)
-St. Edwards University (TX)
-New College of Florida (FL)
@intparent, wow, thank you for sharing re SMCM. I am surprised to hear about their contract/relationship with
Chick Fil A and that definitely impacts my thoughts about the school. Also, agreed re southern MD—my husband is from MD and southern MD is definitely the South, for all intents and purposes, particularly from a historical perspective. I have heard great things about the school, but I don’t think the Chick Fil A part is a selling point.
@tiempocompleto That was several years ago. So not sure if they do it any more. But it was after the LGBTQ Chick Fil A kerfuffle. In general. I was actually quite charmed by the school overall.