<p>I stayed 2 years at city college and I got into UCLA. I didn't get in where I wanted which was Berkeley. I applied there 3 times, yet I couldn't get in. So I decided to go to UCLA. </p>
<p>The problem is my husband lives here in NorCal. One of the reasons I want to get into Cal is because of him. He doesn't want to move down there with me, and I completely understand that. I have been thinking a lot about canceling my UCLA on-campus housing. The deadline for that is coming soon, and I'm still not sure about the decision.</p>
<p>I'm just so frustrated about this. I am worried that the long distance might damage our marriage, and I'm afraid of guys who might come up to me and I might be weak. If I stay another year and try to get into Berkeley again or school around here, will that be worth it? or would that be a stupid idea? I'm just not sure about this. I need to talk to someone about this.</p>
<p>My husband keeps telling me to go to UCLA. He wants me to grow and enjoy the experience. We're both young, and I'm just like any other college kids. I don't know what to do about this. It hurts me so bad, and I am torn. Any suggestion? Thank you</p>
<p>Go to UCLA. Do you know how many people would kill to be in your shoes right now? A degree from UCLA will have you set for life. You marriage is something completely seperate. It sounds like you and your husband have issues beyond what college you attend. Why should you have to give up a stellar education at a top 25 school? There are so many jobs in LA, he should be willing to meet you half way on this and move to be with you for the next 2 years. Obviously I don't know him or his reasoning, but marriage is about compromise and 2 years is such a short amount of time. Personally, I would tell him to suck it up, move to LA until you finish school and you guys can move back to Nor Cal after that. </p>
<p>Don't let the opportunity to go to UCLA slip away, in my opinion.</p>
<p>Go to UCLA. If your relationship with your husband is strong, then it won't put a damper on your marriage. You could always visit him on weekends and stuff anyway.</p>
<p>It's only for two years. If you are afraid that you will be weak, then you should not be married. I always though that married = forever and not "except for if that one person approaches me."</p>
<p>I'm gonna go against the grain on this one.</p>
<p>I say stay with your husband. What kind of wife are you any way? Only thinking about yourself. ME ME ME. </p>
<p>You're how old? Whatever your answer is, it's probably too old anyway. You should have popped out a kid long ago. But look at this way, it's a golden opportunity to lock him down for good. </p>
<p>So here's what you do, next time he's not around, poke the condom wrapper several times with a fine needle. You're gonna need to do this several times, and to multiple condoms. Next time he's feeling frisky, he'll reach for the tainted condom, and bam! You've locked him down for life. </p>
<p>After that, he'll have to come down with you, that is, if he ever wants to have a relationship with his unborn child. Then, when you have to drop out of UCLA because you can't manage a career, a child, and a resentful husband you can think back to the time you came to the internet for help with an important life decision...</p>
<p>Or, just direct him to this thread. You might be in luck, and he might just end up making the decision for you.</p>
<p>I went to UCLA- we were engaged and we were 3000 miles apart- NYC to UCLA. </p>
<p>It will damage your relationship if your relationship sucks to begin with. </p>
<p>I must add to the "what kind of wife are you" but this has to do with your statement of "and I'm afraid of guys who might come up to me and I might be weak. " </p>
<p>sorry when i read that i sort of lost all respect for you as a wife.. so go to UCLA and sow your oats or whatever you want to call it. </p>
<p>I mean really , who the hell applies to UCLA or to any school away from their husband when they are already married? </p>
<p>My reply might be rude but i did the whole thing and if we were married b4 hand there is NO way as a normal wife would i apply to a school far away and there is no way in hell my husband would suggest i do that unless he was going to go with me. </p>
<p>Family is more important than your individual self.......dont get married if you care about yourself more than about the unit. </p>
<p>If you both support the idea it is easily doable though, you guys are only like 5-6 hours apart, that is NOTHING in comparision to a 5-6 hour plane ride.</p>
<p>Ok...I just read you guys' response and they are pretty harsh.</p>
<p>There was a typo "I'm afraid of guys who might come up to me and I might be weak" It's actually "HE'S afraid of guys..."</p>
<p>But it's okay. Why do guys ask what kind of wife I am? I'm 20 and just got married on Aug/8. That's recent. It's after I applied to UCLA, after I knew the decision, after I signed up for housing and after the orientation.</p>
<p>Seriously, I was just confused at this. I needed some advice. My husband is afraid guys might hit on me. I told him that I won't go down there, and that I'll just stay at city for another year. But he insisted that I should attend the school.</p>
<p>Anchor - I wasn't just thinking about me. If it was all about me, I wouldn't have a second thought about UCLA. I never did until I got married on AUG/8.</p>
<p>Malishka - Same thing to you. I have a lot of respect for my hubby. That's why I hesitate to attend UCLA.</p>
<p>No offense, you shouldn't pause your life because of the distance issue. You already applied to Cal 3 times and didn't get in. What if you don't get into Cal for the fourth time? It's not worth delaying your life. Just go to UCLA and finish those two years quickly. Your husband can still visit you or you can spend your break times with him. It is doable, but it is up to you to make the short term sacrifice.</p>
<p>You should have been more detailed ....... married usually implies for a significant period of time, not for a few weeks..........</p>
<p>What do you think about him being alone when you are at school? Men are more prone to cheating than women. ... men who are married and have wives also get used to a certain type of lifestyle where a woman takes care of them - you do a lot more than you think and he will miss it, are you sure you are able to leave him behind and trust him enough to live on his own?</p>
<p>A lot of people directing you to "go to UCLA" are not married. ... and have dedicated a good portion of their last few years to getting into UCLA or university. Clearly if you are already married you can appreciate and understand that importance of a good spouse and how that at the end of the day would be more important than the school you attended. Really, what good would all that education be if it made your relationship fall apart? but at the same time one could say- what good was the relationship if it couldnt survive a 5 hour distance. These are questions only you can answer, but i perosnally believe that if you just said your vows a few weeks ago you already know the answer to these question- you either know for certain you two will be a better couple because of the distance and will make it through, or you know that you have decided to not go already. I would find it strange if you are contenplating going and yet know it would be bad for the relationship.</p>
<p>My other concern would be that as a newly married couple, it is really unfair to both of you to split apart for the upcoming two years,... these first years of being together, of really being newlyweds, are not something you can regain two years down the road. There will be a big strain on the relationship that the distance will produce, but it is up to both of you to decide if it will eventually be a good thing or the end of things.</p>