<p>My parents aren't pushing me anywhere, which I would say is an even smaller minority.</p>
<p>w00t go azns.</p>
<p>kick you dad out of your family</p>
<p>for me...it's either doctor or mcdonald's, and it gets so annoying whenever my parents tell me that I have to become a doctor. They don't even know what it's like to be one, yet they assume that I'm going to become one whether I like it or not, and they don't even care if I hate my job when I grow up. "you're going to be a doctor, or you can scrub floors at fast food joint down the street." It's so frustrating, not to mention my parents have threatened not to pay for college unless I do medicine!</p>
<p>As the joke goes at my school (magnet so naturally like 50% asians):</p>
<p>NEWS BULLETIN
December 15th, 2005</p>
<p>The Asian Parent Society of (School name) expressed its sincere disapproval that their children are unable to obtain 4.0 GPA's or 2400 SAT's. The disappointment is further augmented by their inability to turn wine into water, bring peace to the middle east, or find a cure for Cancer. </p>
<p>When asked for a reaction to the article, Ms. Kim replied exasperatedly, "We Kims raised our daughter to be better than this. I mean, come on, if some white guy, Jesus, can walk on water, why shouldn't she be able to?".</p>
<p>Students declined to comment but some were seen purchasing bottles of sleeping pills- presumably perfecting the art of Ressurection.</p>
<p>I want to subscribe to these news bulletins... :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Heh, just for the heck of it, I'll contribute to this thread.</p>
<p>I'm a Korean American. My dad is a medical chemistry teacher, and my mom is unemployed. I am a senior in high school, and aiming towards a degree in computer science.</p>
<p>And if you're really curious, I got a really ****ty GPA and SAT I as of now, but I got accepted to two colleges already (URI and UMass Dartmouth. Both easy to get into, and I don't care), and I am a victim of asian authoritarian treatment. And I am one of the gifted techies in my school, usually dealing with computer problems in the newspaper, yearbook, etc... club (I'm in the math team and the programming team, too, but how many other asians join stuff that requires english, sterotypically?)</p>
<p>If you want, you can read my blog entry on this topic:</p>
<p>However, I'm curious to see how many other people in this forum had asian parents that signed them up for some tutoring program (like Sylvan or Kumon).</p>
<p>Throughout high school, I've had to go through both of those because my parents believed that my grades would improve dramatically (in my opinion, better than an A+) if I did those crap worksheets and remedial tutoring programs. I hated them, and they definitely brought my GPA down from a 4.0 to a 3.0 due to all the fights I've had with them.</p>
<p>However, eventually they gave up after 3 years of fighting and hatred, and put me in Sylvan, which proved to be a really crappy program (because they treated me like I didn't know English) and my mom blamed me for blaming her for putting me through it. But now she's trying to sue Sylvan.</p>
<p>And yes, report cards have become a death wish in my part. Before, back in my freshmen year of high school, they saw anything other than an A as life-threatening. Now they saw anything a B- or above as a good grade (thank god) because they now assumed that I suck at life. But I got accepted to two colleges, no rejections yet, and I showed my parents my report card three weeks after it was released, and now they are taking measures to bring my grades up after the 1st semester of my senior year, when almost everything doesn't matter that much anymore. They are gonna talk to my counselor about it, too, like they did in the past.</p>
<p>Gotta love them. But has anyone had something that brought a total downfall to their grades (/life)?</p>
<p>^ Girlfriends</p>
<p>firehydra2k, your post/blog entry seems intriguing, so here are my some comments:</p>
<p>I did Kumon for I think about 3 months back in 6th grade because I had to. After they found out (or rather, I convinced them) that it didn't do me any good because they placed me so low in math, I won out and that ended.</p>
<p>Comments on your blog entry:</p>
<p>"You must get straight As in all your classes"</p>
<p>They can't expect straight A's from you if you never get them. ;)</p>
<p>"take all important extra-curricular activities"</p>
<p>One sport after ditching everything else?</p>
<p>"get the best possible SAT score"</p>
<p>2040, then my score dropped by 100 the 2nd time.</p>
<p>"get recognized by everybody"</p>
<p>Well, no one really knows why I applied to OOS colleges way out in the Midwest...everyone in the family (including relatives) is bewildered except for my dad, who's totally obsessed with school rankings.</p>
<p>"get into Haw-verd, Yar-le, or Jons Hop-kins."</p>
<p>Really, Johns Hopkins? Interesting. I guess it's because you live in the East? I get Harvard and Stanford mainly. And the UC system.</p>
<p>"If you get into the best schools, youll get a really good job. Otherwise, fail in anything and your chances of going to college goes down 75% and youll work at Meek-co-don-odes for the rest of your sorry ass life."</p>
<p>Yep, and yes to your next paragraph.</p>
<p>"The only thing they see in success is academics. By being smart, they think you can get a good life being a doctor or a scientist. All the other jobs are trash. This probably contributes to the stereotype on why asians are sooo good at math (or school in general)."</p>
<p>Or a lawyer. Or managing a business. My parents are...well, should I say, slightly better in this regard. But that might just because I don't like math...and wow, you have a long rant.</p>
<p>"Asian boys tend to loose interest in school because they dont study"</p>
<p>So do most people...</p>
<p>Skipped the entire gender part...as for the success thing. Pretty true for the most part, but I'm not sure that they don't want us to be happy. It's more like, they have a skewed view of happiness. As for taking away things...they used to do that, but they've found out that it never works for me (because I'll just get obsessed doing something else!), and have given up. About emotions, yes. They just assume you'll be saving up the happiness for the future when you've become a millionaire, or something like that, and can spend that money to do whatever you want (I politely disagree with them).</p>
<p>They do indeed spend the most money on my education. "Because they think anything you like, unless its school related, will ruin your life." sounds accurate to me.</p>
<p>"Ever notice that when your friends (that dont have parents that are friends to yours) come over? Theyll shower you with pizzas and money to make sure their true reputation is concealed."</p>
<p>My parents are too suspicious of motives to do that. </p>
<p>"They can be so enigmatic at times. Sometimes you wont figure out their intentions right away. Theyll try to act normal, but then hours later theyll release their dragon fury and beat you down to a pulp." </p>
<p>True.</p>
<p>"Gotta love them. But has anyone had something that brought a total downfall to their grades (/life)?"</p>
<p>Yeah. That'd be worrying (though mostly not about academics) that I seem to have acquired from my parents through nurture or something, I swear.</p>
<p>The rest, I didn't really read, since you just continued to vent about Asian parents. Sure, they're overprotective, domineering, and ambitious a whole lot, but that's not all bad. The alternative could be parents who didn't care at all, and just let you take drugs and join gangs when you're 12. It's all perspective. Just deal with it, we're no different.</p>
<p>To those of you who have overbearing Asian parents, I take a look at page 70 - 73 of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. Some excerpts:</p>
<p>No one can hurt you without your consent.</p>
<p>They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.</p>
<p>It is our willing permission, our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happens to us in the first place.</p>
<p>You will be much happier if you "change the things which can and ought to be changed, to accept the things which cannot be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference."</p>
<p>You may not be able to change how your parents treat you but you can change how you react to the way they treat you.</p>
<p>Absolutely agree with m1817...I've been working on all those points for a while now.</p>
<p>Here is another way to look at it if you all dont mind. What if you have some talent in an area but your parents are too stupid, self absorbed or poorly educated to care about you. So they ignore all of your hard work. They ignore your successes and basically its only about them to a point where they dont even care where you go. If they have money they dont spend it on you and if they dont have money well you dont get any help with SATs etc like everyone else. Point is that I know a few kids like that. I tutor them. So stop complaining about your parents. They are right to want you to do well. They are wrong in the way they motivate you. So appreciate the interest and decide for yourself how you want to plan your own life but take the responsibility for the success or the failure thats all. Hope I dont sound too preachy but I know too many who would trade places any day.</p>
<p>I cannot stand it anymore. You guys are completely generalizing the entire Asian population. What do you mean by "how many Asians join activities that require English anyway?" Many of my friends and I have vigorous passions for journalism. Some of them are the captains of debate teams or mock trial. </p>
<p>Where is this thread going? Are most Asians good at math? Many are. Does that mean they exclude other type of activities from their life? ABSOLUTELY NOT.</p>
<p>Whiners need to learn how to take advantage of the lack of freedom.</p>
<p>birdlover, i'm like one of the few kids...</p>
<p>Well, asian parents are usually obnoxious, controlling, overbearing, and they DO ignore your hard work. They have their own agendas, and they directly (or indirectly) want/force you to either become a doctor or engineer whether your personality fits the profession or not. They don't care whether you hate science with every fiber of your body and constantly condemn scientists to hell, because they want you to succeed in their terms. They have no regard for your feelings, constantly point out (rather loudly, in public) your shortcomings, and practially NEVER acknowledge your accomplishments (or blow them off). </p>
<p>Asian parents are distastefully tactless with/about their kids, they're depriving, and they're inappropriately strict. They think in black and white (Harvard or Community College, Goldman Sachs or McDonald's) and do not tolerate being different from the "status quo"(math, math, math x80, science, science, science x80, violin, piano, piano, piano, violin, etc), and do not tolerate anything other than perfection.</p>
<p>These over-the-top demands and unhealthy, unnecessary pressure (and desire for kids to be happy/satisfied with their future) on their kids in turn tun out kids who are neither happy nor satisfied about their past as well as present as well as future. They have 4.0s and 2300s but are not happy because they're constantly crapped on for the other 100 points. They're at Harvard or Yale or something and have great careers but are not happy because they don't have any soul left in them, because their souls were destroyed by their parents.</p>
<p>I've been working on that, m1817. However, I see my family situation as a test of psychological survival. Now before hideandseek starts plastering me for "generalizing" and "stereotyping", let me give you this anecdote. How many parents tend to say "are you a girl?" or "you are a baby" in a poisonous way? That may work if the society we live in is militaristic and competitive. But we live in America, where most of us are pushing towards cooperation and self-satisfaction. If you can't survive the militaristic control, you could lead yourself to suicide. Either that or follow every command you hear.</p>
<p>BirdloverFla, you can say that they are "poorly educated". Are you suggesting that we should deal with it? I went through the Sylvan program because my mom was lured and brainwashed by their commercial, and thought that I would improve my english. But after a month of abiding with the program, my mom finally realized that the program is crap because everything there was extremely easy (the highest level stuff they had was a pile of grade 12 books. No college material whatsover).</p>
<p>I don't feel comfortable being guided by my parents who doesn't justify their actions and make their kids trust their intentions. That's what most of them do. And capitalistic commercialism is fueling their ignorance and their blindness.</p>
<p>And I'm pleased that someone had some interest in my blog entry. With the ending comment, Neo Yoyo, I can agree with that. But that's definitely NOT the only way you can raise any kid to be a clean adult. There is also the path where you can be religious (my family quit catholicism when I finished elementary school because they thought it wasn't doing me any good. I am now a devout atheist : / ), or you can have really friendly parents and alot of people that depend on you. Get that, and the kid won't be intrigued to have sex or do drugs because then they'll get blasted by hundreds of people who praise him/her. Those are some examples, but clearly, authoritarian parenting is definitely not the solution. The only good it did to me was making me open minded and extremely rebellious (heh, photoshop).</p>
<p>And you should add some "Engrish" and "so-shall staw-dees" in your chain of "status quos". ( hehe )</p>
<p>yea my parents forced me to play piano
played it for about 4 years than broke the piano myself a year ago :D
problem solved no more piano
playing alto sax on my own accord now</p>
<p>I would like the stereotyping to end please.</p>
<p>I'm Asian. I'm an editor in our school newspaper, won many regional, state, and national awards for journalism, am a big part of our debate club (I hold a leadership position in it as well), and have a huge passion for art and design. UH, I'm sorry I'm not your science-and-math-only-asian-geek? I'm not some 39482798273298th generation Asian either, who's so white-washed I'm no longer Asian. My parents are direct immigrants from Korea, and I deal with their ****.</p>
<p>Yea, I have the highest grade in Calculus right now. Yea, I plan to pursue biology in college. But don't pass judgment on things like that. I don't enjoy Calculus, never do homework for it, never study. I'm pursuing biology because of my love for animals, not because "OH, MY PARENTS SAID TO BECOME A DOCTOR SO DOCTOR IT IS." I'm a complete animal rights activist.
I'm not arguing there AREN'T such Asians as you, ihateCA (which I don't appreciate, because I love CA). One of my close (semi-ex) friend is THE epitome of all the stereotyping Asians get. But hello, there are just as many such Caucasians out there. And some are cocky and *****y at that too (sorry, several particular JSA girls came to mind when I said this. Wonder if any SER JSA-ers know who I'm talking about.)</p>
<p>Anyways. Generalizations without substantial support **** me off. A Theory of Knowledge class might've cured that right up.</p>
<p>EDIT: :D I admit my faults too. I didn't read the previous posts before I posted. AHAHA. :D So shoot me.</p>
<p>Ooh, and lalala, I post more.
That friend who epitomes all that is stereotypically Asian...
She stresses over her ONE B. She says about her 2340 "OHHHH, I could've should've gotten a 2400. I could've should've taken it again to see if I could get it..." (Cocky *****. She just wants to show off.) And she confides in a mutual guy friend "ooooh, i am so stressed by my mom." All I could do was rant at this guy friend (poor monkey in the middle) that she brought it upon herself, in a way. If she really didn't want her mom to squish her like an anvil on a pancake, she would rebel, at least. But no. She meekly goes along, afraid to break her mom's heart. Call me a bad child or what, but heck, I need my freedom. I need to control my own future. I broke whatever I needed to break to be able to do what I wanted, needed. And that has made all the difference. Ahahaha.</p>
<p>Me=The typical asian parents' worst nightmare</p>
<p>SAT: ~2200
GPA: ~3.6
Worst Class: Physics, Math (hate teacher)
Best Class: APUSH, English
Intended major: Finance/International Business
Intended career: Investment Banking
Least favorite classes: Science, Math (because of the teacher)
Favorite classes: English, History
Dream School: UPENN-Wharton (notice it's not HYP, or MIT, and it's a BUSINESS school)
Probably will end up: NYU-Stern (notice it's not HYP,and it's a BUSINESS school)
Highest degree I plan to pursue: MBA (notice it's NOT in medicine, engineering, or other science)</p>
<p>Ewww.....Science....I HATE SCIENCE WITH EVERY FIBER IN MY BODY. So an MD or an engineering degree AS A SAFETY...NOT AN OPTION.</p>
<p>So I'm ABSOLUTELY not the stereotypical Asian. All I'm saying is that in my observation, most Asians in my school do fit in that chain of "status quos" very accurately. </p>
<p>I'm probably the only Asian at my school who ISN'T planning to take a science next year, since that's just heresy. Well, sue me. Whatever. I'm a heretic.</p>
<p>I already broke my mom's little heart to pieces.
Oh yeah, we're not going to shoot you, we'll just sue.</p>