gracious way to say "no thank you" ?

<p>D has not made her final decision but there are some that are definitely off the list, as schools at least as or more suited to her have made as good or better offers. She should let these schools know asap of course.</p>

<p>I think for some of them at least, who were really personable and helpful to her in the process, that she should write personal notes rather than an email or typed letter to her admissions advisor.</p>

<p>What information, if any other than just "I've decided no, but thank you anyway", should she include, or is considered courteous to offer? Her final choice, or reasons why? (which would consist of things having to do with cost and "fit", and not anything negative about that particular school, obviously) I feel really badly actually that she had to waste their time but as we all know she had to do that to have a shot at ANY acceptance and any one of them COULD have ended up being the only feasible choice.</p>

<p>~I wish it were magically possible that every kid could get into their first choice school and so only have to apply to one school, and that every school would just get exactly the applicants they wanted so they don't have to guess and wait at who they are getting. But it doesn't work that way, alas.</p>

<p>I think most programs would appreciate a quick, courteous message thanking them for their time, consideration and offer. I would not include any reasons why and simply state “I have decided to go in a different direction”. Then you might say something like it was a difficult choice and you wish their faculty and students well. You want to keep good relations all around as much as possible because this is a small world - and the faculty or MT director you are saying no to at the moment may well be sitting across the table from you as you audition to be in a professional show sometime in the future.</p>

<p>SDF, I agree with MTdog. I also think that it is important to teach your daughter to be gracious and to treat the schools as well or better than she would hope that a school that did not select her would treat her. The very fact that you asked this question leads me to believe that you and your daughter are total class acts! Brava!</p>

<p>A simple, timely note.</p>

<p>“Thank you for your consideration. I deeply appreciate your invitation to join your program. However, I have decided to attend another university.”</p>

<p>Please remember, your decline will likely mean an invitation for someone on the waitlist.</p>

<p>Please send this as soon as school “A” is no longer in consideration. The same is true for any casting situation.</p>