i need ideas for something to lighten the mood at the beginning of my speech… GO!
<p>so a guy walks into a bar......ouch. budum.....pshhhh. j/k, i know it was lame. if your azn, make some stereotypical joke. like if an indian were doing it, he could say somethin like, yeah, i'm going into medicine......wow an indian going into medicine, shocker. something stupid, that might be nice. or not, you know, whatever.</p>
<p>i tried this, dunno if it would lighten the mood </p>
<hr>
<p>Grad speech</p>
<h2>So, anyone seen Star Wars III yet? War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere. Having just seen Star Wars III, thats sadly all I could think of for this speech. On my first try, I spelled salutatorian wrong,... blah blah</h2>
<p>or i even had</p>
<hr>
<h2>Who is that incredibly handsome young man addressing us, and with what authority does he have speaking to us? Well its Tony Pham and Im your salutatorian. Who am I kidding, On my first try, I spelled salutatorian wrong, with a d instead of a t. It occurred to me that I might never think of something to say. I stared at my keyboard, thinking to myself. Who I was, who I've become, and most importantly, who I will be. The times I spent in High School</h2>
<p>that my friend.. was terrible. you need a professional speech writer!</p>
<p>but seriously, think about your audience. most the ppl will not find humor in that and forcing humor can actually be detrimental thruogh your confidence.. write down the important stuff that you are gonna say and when ur on stage im sure u can think of a couple of funny lines to add in between the flow.</p>
<p>I don't know if this is hmm, appropriate but a friend actually said this in rally:</p>
<p>does everyone know why santa has such a huge sack?</p>
<p>because he only comes once a year.</p>
<p>i would be glad if people don't get this..this is just meh...>_<</p>
<p>the kid had lots of guts i must say...</p>
<p>
[quote]
so a guy walks into a bar......ouch. budum.....pshhhh. j/k, i know it was lame. if your azn, make some stereotypical joke. like if an indian were doing it, he could say somethin like, yeah, i'm going into medicine......wow an indian going into medicine, shocker. something stupid, that might be nice. or not, you know, whatever
[/quote]
</p>
<p>umm.. i dont think indians going into medicine is a shocker... Engineering and Medicine wont be shockers for Indians.. probably something else..</p>
<p>LOL, that's the point. It's supposed to be sarcastic.</p>
<p>oh ok.. got it now... damn, i'm slow tonight.. lol..</p>
<p>"Mr. Speaker, members of the Congress, I am honored to be before you ton --"</p>
<p>"Oh, wait a second, sorry, wrong speech."</p>
<p>"Four score and se -- wait, no, this was for history."</p>
<p>"Ahh, here we go."</p>
<p><em>original speech</em></p>
<p>do all the seniors do speeches? or only the top rankers of the class do so?</p>
<p>Not all the seniors, that would take forever :) ! It is normally either the top rankers or they do auditions where almost anyone can try out, but they only pick a few.</p>
<p>earth to jai6638...</p>
<p>lol..... your right.. wouldnt be practical getting all seniors to do it.. bah... really sleepy.</p>
<p>our valedictorian made jokes about kids in the class...it was pretty funny</p>
<p>haha i'm so screwed</p>
<p>did you look at the harvard one by conan o'brien...
<a href="http://www.february-7.com/features/conan.htm%5B/url%5D">http://www.february-7.com/features/conan.htm</a></p>
<p>steal some ideas</p>
<p>I think it's a bad idea to do a joke. An appropriate one might be:</p>
<p>"When I first came to this school, I saw a note scrawled on the bathroom stall that said 'QUESTION EVERYTHING!' About a week later someone wrote beneath it: 'BUT WHY?'"</p>
<p>But then only about one in ten in the audience would even get it. Most prepared jokes come across as not funny in a speech. Or it might come across as inappropriate. Or not politically correct. Or whatever...</p>
<p>If you do a joke, you need to do something related to the whole school thing. A one-liner won't do it. And anything else might come across as too long:</p>
<p>"A mother mouse was taking her children for a tour of the house they lived in. She was showing them the floor under the refrigerator where they might find some crumbs when suddenly a huge cat appeared with a loud MRAOW. As the little mice hid behind the mother, she stepped right up to that cat and said loudly ARF, ARF! The cat screeched and ran away. The mom turned to her mice and said, "Now do you see the importance of learning a second language?"</p>
<p>See - too long, and not all that funny.</p>
<p>So, my advice is to NOT do it.</p>
<p>Make fun of Bush or something like that...
unless ur from Texas..</p>
<p>if ur in Texas, make fun of Michael Jackson</p>
<p>naw grad jokes are great dude...just make sure they relate to your school...like certain things that define your school/class...just make fun of them</p>
<p>make fun of someone who you've feared all throughout highschool (not a student; a teacher or admin). what are they gonna do? fail you?</p>
<p>for michael jackson jokes, try these:</p>
<p>why does michael jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
because there are twenty of them!</p>
<p>this one is dirty like a bum in 99% humidity:
why does michael jackson always turn up late for social functions?
because he always like to come in a little behind.</p>