Grade/critique my SAT practice essay please? :)

<p>The prompt is: Is the world changing for the better?
All input and help is appreciated</p>

<p>Although it must be acknowledged that today's world stands at a crossroads, the innovative and promising developments in science and technology have augmented our daily lives and have allowed us to make unimaginable, exponential progress. This is seen in the technological advances involving the environment and in the philanthropic activism shaping today's society. </p>

<p>As the forces of global warming and the food industry become more threatening, we are forced to take steps, however small, in combating the problems of our era. Technological improvements, including wind and solar power, would likely have not been made if it were not for the threat posed by environmental deterioration. We face the immense challenge of correcting the wrongs of previous generations. Recent environmental activism has, however, lead to the bettering of treatment for and care of the environment in which we live. In some areas, wind turbines have replaced electrical production and people are turning to organically-grown food as a means of doing their part to aid the world as a whole.</p>

<p>Philanthropy and activism has also resulted from the crises faced by society. The earthquake in Haiti has resulted in a world-wide rallying of support. Schools and businesses are donating their time and support to causes like this one. People are realizing their responsibility to take action, and are both inspired and guided by the leadership of others. Changes in the way we view our duty to others act as impetuses for charity and magnamity.</p>

<p>The final outcome of the changes made by the members of our society cannot be truly predicted, but we must acknowledge their importance. Without these changes and advancements, our world would be a very different place. Even slow change will drive people to ignite social activism and compel them to create conditions for a better future.</p>

<p>Its good but a bit short. You need to expand on the second body paragraph the most. Conclusion also needs a bit more.
Also instead of 2 examples on current events, try using 1 current event and 1 historical/literature one.
It is still a good essay. I would give it a 9.</p>

<p>…today’s world stands at a crossroad. I’m guessing it’s a typo. I agree with ^, you need a history/literature example. Since it’s tad bit short, why don’t you try with 3 examples? I rate it a 10.</p>