Grade it! ;D

<p>Haha. So I took this prompt off the internet and decided to write a SAT essay. Can anyone tell me what I would get if I wrote this on the SAT && tell me how I can improve?</p>

<p>(p.s. it took me about 30 minutes to write the essay, so I'll try to cut the time down next time i write)</p>

<p>But here it is!</p>

<p>(also, I'm not a really good writer, so any advice is helpful.
And I BSed some of the facts. Like Pablo Picasso. I'm not sure if it was true or not.)</p>

<p>Does planning contribute to or interfere with creativity?</p>

<p>Planning definitely interferes with creativity. With planning, you don't have the stress and the ideas that let your creativity tell the story. Most artists don't plan their artworks. Whatever comes to mind, they use it and the artwork is made. They also don't plan on where their artwork might land someday. In science, we would never accomplish anything if we didn't let our creativity go wild. Surely if Darwin's parents wanted him to become a pastor, would we understand evolution? Similar to life, when one plans out a strategy, a goal, or even just a road trip, we move on in life and we try to make the best of it.</p>

<p>Pablo Picasso never planned his artwork. Whatever fly into his mind, he painted. Similar to the movie "The Red Violin", the violin-maker didn't plan to have his wife die nor did he plan on creating the -hence the title- the red violin with his deceased wife's blood. The Red Violin also plays a role as a unplanned lifestyle. The violin didn't decide whether it will go to England during the Renaissance Era or to China during the Cultural Revolution. But all of these adventures made the instrument even more special and valuable. At the end of the movie, it mentions about how the Red Violin is still out there experiencing with more trouble, problems, and journeys unplanned. </p>

<p>Victor Frankenstein, from the novel Frankenstein, is what society calls a Mad Scientist. But without mad scientists -or scientists in general-, how would we know about anything? If we followed the planned routes of our lives, would we still be sitting in this room writing this essay? Will we be as technological advance as we are today? Darwin's parents thought the appropriate job for their son (Charles Darwin) to be a pastor. However, the unplanned events caused their son to go on the H.M.S Beagle and study the bird's beaks at the Galapagos Islands. Archimedes took a bath in oil that led us to understand geometry. If we planned all of our life out, technology won't be as advance as we currently are today. </p>

<p>Impromptu leads to some of the best times in my life. One summer, my friends and I decided that sitting in the same park everyday was insanely boring. So we decided to embark on an adventure around the city. We didn't know where we were going, where we were going to eat, or really where were we? But this adventure allowed me taste some of the tastiest pizza, traveled in the oddest fashion, and meet some of the most talented street artists out there. If my friends and I planned all of this, none of this adventure would have happened. In fact, we would probably be still sitting at the same park for the next 20 years.</p>

<p>When someone plans something, they know what is going to happen and nothing creative or odd will happen. But when you take a journey around the city or just betray your parents wishes and not what is ahead of you.Well, you may have some of the best experiences you ever wished for.</p>

<p>Dorkyelmo,</p>

<p>I’d say this essay gets a 8-9. The main detractor is the questions. 1 to 2 rhetorical questions is alright, but I think its over used in your essay. If you eliminate those sentences, “…how would we know about anything? If we followed the planned routes of our lives, would we still be sitting in this room writing this essay? Will we be as technological advance as we are today?” and stick more to supporting your body paragraphs you’d be better off. Also, ORGANIZATION is crucial. I’m not sure, but are you trying to draw parallels between Picasso and The Red Violin? Start the body paragraph off with what you’re going to talk about. By discussing Picasso and then switching it up, the grader will assume you’re panicking and disorganized; as a result your score will plummet. Why not just separate them? Get a paragraph on Picasso and the Red Violin. Same thing for the next body paragraph. Frankenstein and Darwin are great examples; pick one and develop it. It was a little confusing to read, which is what mainly detracted from your score. Lastly, I know I harp on this, but SAT Vocabulary is a must. Make sure you try to incorporate some of that into your writing and you’d be set. So, separate your thoughts! You have a lot of brilliant examples for this prompt, instead of mentioning all of them, just mention a few of them and REALLY develop them. Don’t leave anything half-baked. Do this next time and you’ll be set =)! Hope I helped :)!</p>

<p>~Aceventura74</p>

<p>Okay great Thanks I’ll try to improve (: ^^</p>

<p>Dorkyelmo,</p>

<p>You’re welcome :D. Always happy to help!</p>

<p>~Aceventura74</p>

<p>Too many question marks. Leave that for research papers or letters to notable people in the government :D</p>

<p>Okay thanks (: ^</p>

<p>I definitely will not put a lot of questions in my essay xD.</p>

<p>Um, well I rewrote the essay because I just totally reread the essay after the reading critiques and I just can’t stand it. So I rewrote it. And this is what I cam up with. </p>

<p>My third paragraph is short because I ran out of room. Bu I guess I really want to try and improve so here it is!</p>

<p>Does planning contribute to or interfere with creativity?</p>

<p>Planning interferes with creativity. Creativity happens when someone unexpectedly causes an event that changes his or her’s life. Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird shows Scout and Jem Finch unanticipated Dill Harris to join them and their summer adventures tormenting Arthur “Boo” Radley. Widely known success, even the Harry Potter series had impromptu moments. When you outlined your goals, you do not think outside the box. You adhere to the plan and no creativity will be made.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by Scout and Jem’s talent in provoking their neighbor, Arthur Radley, caused them to experience unforeseen events. In the beginning of the novel, Scout is portrayed as a tomboy who is very scared of Boo (Arthur) Radley. She believed all the rumors she heard from neighboring kids to the kids at school. From eating rats for breakfast to drinking cat blood for soup, no one would have, nor could have, predicted what Mr.Radley did for Scout and Jem. Boo Radley gave Scout a blanket unnoticeably when she was shivering in the cold. Radley stabbed Bob Ewell when Mr.Ewell wanted to kill Jem Finch. Arthur Radley perpetually left modest gifts to the Finch siblings such as gum, gray twine, and soap. But none of this would have happened if Scout and Jem planned their summer out. Therefore, they wouldn’t have met Arthur Radley and his generous deeds if the neighbor’s house didn’t burn down, or if Atticus (their father) wasn’t the lawyer for a black man. Unplanned events caused Scout to realize the main moral of the story: The existence of social inequality.</p>

<p>Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix teaches readers that planning can cause negative results. Hermonie suggested that Harry should teach Defense of Dark Arts, which was a unplanned event that led to more adventurous outcomes. She spontaneously decided to form the student miltia called the Dumbledore’s Army (DA for short). During the whole book, it conveys how improvised events led to many great results: The suspension of Mrs. Umbridge, the rehiring of Dumbledore, and even Harry’s true love dating. There were many events in the book that were actually planned and thought-out that caused even more trouble. For example, when Harry planned out his date with Cho Chung, it actually ruined their friendship, as well as their relationship. All of this seems accidental, but in fact, it demonstrates how erratic thinking can contribute to creativity.</p>

<p>After a careful analysis of two literary novels, To Kill a Mockingbird and Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix, planning interferes with the creativity. True, planning does let people understand what are the choices. But in life, we are need to anticipate for problems and resolved it with a creative and an unplanned thought.</p>

<p>(p.s. if you know any words I should use -like SAT words, please tell me! I’m still trying to study so I don’t know many really hard words)</p>

<p>Dorkyelmo,</p>

<p>I would say this falls perfectly into the 10 zone, quite the improvement from the above 8 (weak 9), nice work! I suggest you put some more focus and direction on the TKAM example. Explain more of the Boo Radley sporadicness and link it to the unplanned summer. If you do that, this essay will hit the 11 mark. Same goes for your Harry Potter example, play more on the unplanned notion and you’ll be set. Don’t limit yourself to books. History is full of creativity and unplanned stuff; gorilla warfare in Vietnam and the Indian-American War. Personal examples. I feel like your two examples lost sight of the thesis because you were trying to force them, just keep at it. You’re improving, and its great to see! Keep it up my friend :)!</p>

<p>As far as some SAT vocabulary words go here are some I love to use.</p>

<p>Assuage - to relieve ease or lessen. Jem and Scout assuaged their boredom by randomly playing with Boo Radley. or Boo Radley sought to assuage his loneliness and did so by randomly leaving gifts.</p>

<p>Hindrances - Something to hold you back. Boo Radley was hindered with house arrest; he was therefore punished to live the remainder of his life OSTRACIZED (alone, by himself, not with others). </p>

<p>Perfunctidiousness - beautiful. Harry SPORADICALLY (impulsively random) asked Cho Chang out on a date, one of the most perfunctidiousness students at Hogwarts. </p>

<p>Fetterings - Hinderances. Boo Radley was not ABNORMAL (not normal) despite being ISOLATED from society. He was a very INNOCUOUS (harmless) and ALTRUISTIC (kind hearted, makes sacrifices to help others). The PSYCHOLOGICAL (big words are preferred. psychological > mental) fetterings Boo Radly faced did not RENDER (make, create) him as he still secretly enjoyed the fruit of society by communication with Jem and Scout. Boo’s muscles did not atrophy (weaken) which can clearly be seen as he wrestled a man in order to protect the children. </p>

<p>Its been awhile since I’ve used these words, but they’re out there. Check out Sparknotes Free SAT Vocab list and you’ll find more. </p>

<p>~Aceventura74</p>

<p>OMG THANK YOUU!!!</p>

<p>And yes, I’m serious, I sat in front of my des looking at the paper and just saying ***? </p>

<p>But thank you I’m definitely going to try and throw in some SAT words and assuage my anger about not getting a 12 (;</p>

<p>And you read Harry potter? lol go pottermore!</p>