Grade meh, please be brutally honest

<p>Essay Topic: Are people's lives the result of the choices they make?</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>As society has progressed, individuals have increasingly sought to define their lives as amalgamations of various, "outside" forces. However, in reality, people's lives are irrefutable the result of the choices they create for themselves. Examples from literature (Huxley's Brave New World), history (Michael Dell), and external politics (Middle Eastern Revolutions) verify that choices in the face of danger define the consequences of every person's life. </p>

<p>Brave New World, a dystopian novel written by Aldous Huxley in 1932, shows that all people, whatever the circumstances, make choices upon which their lives depend. In this classic, the protagonist--Bernard Marx--lives in a society ruled by a totalitarian government that "forces" happiness on the community; for example, individuals are forced to be promiscuous, get addicted to mind-altering drugs,and acquiesce to a global "care-free" attitude. As such, there is no need for science, art, religion, literature, etc. However, Marx adopts a methodology filled with recalcitrance; he seeks to change the world he lives in by obstinately opposing the norms of society. In one such instance, he refuses to be promiscuous be seeking a long-term relationship with a member of a different caste. In another case, Marx openly objected to the ideas set forth by the "World Director," and it yet another, he attempted to overthrow the ubiquitous drug known as "soma" (through which all constituents of society were put under a psychadelic spell) by throwing weekly rations into the ocean. Although Marx was ostracized for his actions, and ultimately sent to be exiled, there was no arbitrary, outside factor in pushing him to make his choices; he saw the inhumanity present in his world, and sought to change it despite any setbacks. Even when consequences arose, Marx faced them with obduration. Overall, Huxley's novel, Brave New World, substantiates the idea that our lives are resultant of our various choices. </p>

<p>Beyond literature (fictional, yet shockingly contemporary), the history of Michael dell (founder of Dell computers) empirically shows that decisions determine the future consequences of each individual. As a child raised by two dentists, Dell was constantly pressured to become a doctor. This ideology was forced upon Dell to such a great extent that he entered college as a biology major, fulfilling pre-medical course requirements. However, in his third year of college, Dell's friends introduced computer science to him, and he saw an imminent fortune to be had in computer repair. Making a conscious decision to drop his pseudo-ambitions of medicine, Dell disconnected from his parents and founded Dell Computers in 1987. Years later, in 2011, Dell Computers is the third largest grossing computer industry worldwide--all because of Michael Dell's choice in college. Thus, it is clear that personal choices undoubtedly define out lives. </p>

<p>Finally, the recent revolutions in the Middle East show that, even on a national scale, the lives of people are directly correlated to their decisions. Since 1879, citizens of Syria, Egypt, Tunisia, and other countries have lived in turmoil, domestic violence, and dehumanization under a totalitarian government. In 2011, seven countries across Northern Africa and the Middle East realized the catastrophic outlook on their lives, and executed a choice to oust their respective governments. With the aid of foreign benefactors, all such countries achieved their goals; Sudan was split into two countries, Egypt instigated a proper ruling body, Syria extended its "safe-zone" for political activists, etc. In essence, the choice to instigate and uproot the government of such countries resulted in lives of prosperity and peace to come. </p>

<p>After analyzing examples from history (Dell), literature (Brave New World), and foreign affairs (recent revolutions) it is clear that, indeed, people's lives are not determined by arbitrary factors. As a society, we must seek to make proper choices that will consequently cause out communities to attain higher standards of living; as biomedical engineer Thomas McKean stated, Everything we do makes us who we are." And in a world of increasing danger and corruption, "who we are" means everything.</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

<p>bloody brilliant. if you managed to write this in 25 minutes, hats off to you!</p>

<p>solid 12.</p>

<p>strong thesis, backed up by good transitions between paragraphs with outstanding points, and barely any grammatical errors.</p>

<p>Nicely done.</p>

<p>Thanks! bump</p>