Grade my ACT Essay? (Taking it this Saturday, first time writing it)

<p>Alright so this is my first go at writing the essay. I'm taking the ACT this saturday.
So yeah basically grade it out of 12. Tell me what I could improve on and what structure I should base my essay on next time I write it..
Thanks a lot!!</p>

<p>Here is the prompt:
Teachers vary in the amount of effort they acknowledge for the work a student does in class. Many students, parents, and teachers argue that students should be highly rewarded for their efforts, because much of what is learned in life is learned during the process of accomplishing a task. Others argue that it is not the effort that should determine students' grades, but students' final scores on a project, assignment, or test because colleges and employers reward results and not effort. In your opinion, should grades be based on effort or actual achievement?</p>

<p>Essay:
Effort is something that many high schoolers are not fond of, especially when it comes to school work. These days kids are getting lazier and lazier each day, as seen by the growing obesity rates. A student's grades he or she recieves should be based solely on effort. By having a system where grades are based on actual achievement, it intices students to do whatever possible to achieve that grade. To distinguish the best students from the mediocre ones, schools should make grades based on effort.</p>

<pre><code> Without putting effort into daily things one does, it is hard to be a functional human being. For example, driving a car or taking out the car cannot be accomplished if you don't put effort into it. Have you ever done a math problem and put all the work and still get it wrong? How can someone punish you for actually knowing how to do the problem, but making a calculation error at the very end of the problem? You put effort, yet you don't get the actual achievement.

 By having grades issued for getting the "right answer" it makes it easier for students to cheat. Kids can just look to their neighbor during a test and copy whatever correct answer their neighbor has. The person who does this puts no effort in and still manages to get a good grade. This kind of person never learns anything and will not succeed in life. If another student grasps the concept, but gets it wrong on the test, he or she will end up with a lower score than the other student that cheated. This scenario happens all over high schools around the nation.

 On the other hand, opponents say that if grades are based on actual achievement, it gives the brighter students an edge. Colleges and employers can then see which students are the over achievers and will pick them. By making grades based on effort, people won't go the extra mile. They will just put whatever is already stored in their bran from the past. No one will do the extra work so they can get the answer right as well. However, kids will probably be more motivated knowing that they won't have to be perfect and get every question right.

 Having grades based on effort will make everyone's job a little easier. There won't be a burden on students to strive for perfection. In addition, teachers and schools won't have to worry about kids cheating. I will benefit quite a bit if grades are based on effort as will the rest of America.

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<p>I hope this is a ■■■■■ essay lol. “kids are getting lazier as seen by the obesity rate.” lmaooo! bro you need a lot of help on this essay. you’re WAY to judgmental: “this kind of person never learns anything and will not succeed in life.” how do you know that? will you be there in the future? What is success? as you see, judgements call for extreme opinions rather than rhetorical facts. remember, facts>opinions. and you need rational arguments. Yours are vague and unpersuasive. </p>

<p>I honestly give this a 5/6 out of 12. </p>

<p>The best way to improve ACT writing is to read graded essays that received anything over a 9.</p>

<p>I know this response isn’t the nicest but I’m helping you. Good luck brodie.</p>

<p>I would actually give this a 8. Your organization flows and you have a clear thesis. The length is sufficient but make it a little longer. Your examples are also lackluster, put actual facts like anecdotes. And dont put anything controversial like "kids are getting lazier as seen by the obesity rate. 8/12</p>

<p>I would make the 3 body paragraphs into more stronger 2 body paragraphs. I would give you an 8 still :)</p>