<p>High school was a difficult and complicated journey for me, for everyone I think. I came into a new environment where I didn't know anyone but I did this purposely for a fresh start. The summer before my freshman year I was told I had depression. Those dark unexplainable feelings I had apparently has a name. Life wasn't about to stop though to let me fix myself. I had to carry that burden on my shoulders with others that came with high school. I made enemies, I've loved and lost, been betrayed, torn apart, pressured by society, influenced by my peers etc. High school is a package full of life lessons. Something I'm grateful for because not only did it prepare me educationally but it prepared me mentally for life.
In freshman year, everyone is friends with everybody. Everyone wants to fit in, be known for who they decided to disguise themselves with. I already knew half the people weren't who they tried to be. The role was far big for them to play. I felt like I was surrounded by future trouble. It was proven when I came into problems with a couple of people I was skeptical about since the beginning. I was glad when whatever relationship we had was done and I didn't have to be nice anymore. I don't have room for anyone who doesn't want to be a part of my life. I have my group of friends I can trust, and up to this day they havn't given me a reason not to.
Sophmore year was the peak of my depression. There were days where I just felt philosophical. What is the meaning of life? Why are we placed here in this world? Sometimes, I just felt lonely, even when I'm surrounded by people. It's something I just couldn't explain. An emotion that has a definition in the dictionary but different versions to each that experience it. I cared to much, I felt too strongly, I'm not good enough. It was the year where all my flaws and insecurities got the best of me. I got better throughout the year thanks to amazing friends who I know care and stick with me through it all even when I push them away.
By the end of junior year, I learned that I was betrayed by the person I thought I could trust the most in the world. I've loved for three years and it all crumbled down before I knew it. I find it funny because looking back at it I shouldh've seen it coming, all the signs were heading to that direction. I could'hv saved myself the heartache. I would be lying if I said I wasn't hurt, I wouldn't be human if it didn't affect me. I was hopelessly in love to the point where I lost myself and was drowning in an ocean of emotions. I felt like everything was over, life itself was meaningless. I was suffocating in my own feelings. My best friend was there to support me through it however there was so much she could do, theres a limit on how much she could understand how I felt. My thoughts and feelings blamed myself for letting it happen in the first place. I walked down the hallways of ***** High School soulless. Everyone asked what was wrong but I just brushed them off. It's not their faults but I knew for a fact they were mostly curious than concerned. Summer came and I was busy working and volunteering. My report card came in the mail and when I saw I've achieved principle's list nothing else mattered to me. I was in shock, proud of myself and I realized I don't need anyone to make me happy when I can obviously do it myself and it can get me somewhere in life.
I decided to keep myself busy for senior year. I took on three ap classes and an internship on Fridays. I'm currently searching for a job as well to keep me occupied afterschool. With SATs and college applications due, I have more than enough on my plate but nothing is impossible. So far, I'm enjoying all my classes and teachers. I'm making the most of my last year because I'm now focused on me. It may seem a little selfish but I think I deserve a year where I focus on myself and not give my attention and time to anyone who isn't worth it. I'm doing better than I ever was before and I'm satisfied with the outcomes. I'm pushing myself to be successful and even though it's my last year in high school and I should take it easy, I decided to challenge myself and work hard.
I can tell I've changed a lot. I'm not that innocent, immature child I was four years ago. I'm not letting all the pain and struggle I've been through go to waste. I'm putting it to good use. Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself. I can now say I'm stronger, harder to break down. People come to your life for a reason and leave once their reason for being is done. I can say I truly experienced that because even the most important people in my walked out on me. I'm a better version of myself today and I will improve as life goes on. I'm still here, I'm standing tall, life won't stop for no one. My feelings are naked upon this paper, but no amount of words can make a person feel what I felt. They can only imagine and sometimes they can't even imagine right.</p>
<p>My initial impression of this essay is that it lacks substance.
Don’t get me wrong – I’ve struggled with major depression as well – but I feel as if you’re not highlighting the positive enough. I know you’re trying to provide insight into your thoughts but it slightly conveys that you might have a hard time adjusting to a new environment during college. Depression is a really risky topic to write about!
Grammatical-wise, there is a lot you can improve. There are a handful of clich</p>
<p>You’re essay should be more optimistic and positive.</p>
<p>You forgot something at the top:</p>
<p>Dear Diary,</p>
<p>Save this in a time capsule and start over. Make something more appropriate for a college applicant. Teethmarks comments are all right on. </p>
<p>Now, next time don’t post your essay online. Go to the College Essay forum and ask for readers. Read the warning at the top of the forum.</p>