Grade my Essay please

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>PROMPT: Do you think that ease does not challenge us and that we need adversity to help us discover who we are?</p>

<p>Adversity is definitely needed to help us realize our full potential. Ease doing its own job isn't in itself sufficient to show us who we are. Adverse conditions bring out the best in people. Sometimes they help brute force out the positivity, which we see in the examples that follow.</p>

<p>History is full of such examples. For instance, in the late 18th century during the French Revolution, the king, King Louis XVI had increased taxes which adversely affected the people. Earlier, everyone was happy with their lifestyles but the increase in taxes caused hardships among the common people. People saw how the King and his wife were living lavishly and eating royal food while the entire country was starving. This infuriated the citizens and they acted to protest against it. Notice how the hunger hardship caused even the diverse population of France to unite and fight for their rights. This wouldn’t have been possible if the conditions weren’t challenging. This is what led to the great French Revolution which later enlightened the rest of the world. </p>

<p>Similarly, in Shakespeare’s famous book Romeo and Juliet, it’s been shown that Romeo and Juliet, even though they come from two very different families who are essentially the enemies of each other, fall in love and give their lives up. The two families never agreed on Romeo and Juliet being together. But when Romeo dies by drinking poison for Juliet, the circumstances help the two families realize that the cause of their enmity was futile and that their own children had to give up their lives for them to understand this fact. This would have never been possible if they had just tried to talk it out because ease does not challenge, it’s the hardships which do and lead us to good.</p>

<p>Moreover, we’ve all felt challenged by harder conditions at some points in our lives. Some thing as trivial as a math exam proves the point. The easier questions never help realize what kinds of question a person can solve. The tougher ones which directly dare the intellect show the best anyone can be.</p>

<p>Following the above examples, it is certainly true that touch challenges reveal our strengths and weakness and lead us to discover who we really are. Therefore, adversity is desirable to find out about our true selves.</p>

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<p>9/10</p>

<p>10char</p>

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<p>Eh just skimmed it (not going to specifically "grade it) and wanted to offer you a tip or two. You write with too much passive voice; use more active voice to produce stronger impressions. For example, you can change “it’s been shown that Romeo and Juliet, even though they come from two very different families who are essentially the enemies of each other, fall in love and give their lives up” to something more concise and direct: “In Shakespeare’s famous play, Romeo and Juliet, the tragedy of the star-crossed lovers allows bitter enemies to discover the futility of their feud.” In addition, you begin several sentences with “this would” or “this is”; get to the point and drive it home to receive higher scores. What would have never been possible: the self-awareness, the uprising, or something else entirely? You also don’t explain why “if they had just tried to talk it out because ease does not challenge,” you instead just claim it and move on. As a side note, that sentence does not really make sense in its current wording and probably should be revised. Another suggestion (and my final one): Avoid hypothetical examples at all costs. If need be, insert yourself into the hypothetical example and convert it into a personal experience.</p>