grade my essay please

<p>A leader is the one who guides people to do anything. A leader must be potential enough in order to control and lead people. In order to do that, he or she must treat people well so that they will follow. Therefore, a leader should be judged by how well he or she treats people. Even so, this criterion sometimes should not be done as first priority. </p>

<p>In democratic leadership, members are allowed to speak and suggest ideas freely. This freedom creates diversity and creativity in a workplace which can be useful in solving problems. United States of America, inarguably the most advanced country in the world, adopts a democracy as a political system. The president, a leader, does not hold all powers in making decisions but give authorities to people. As citizens are taken into accounts and treated well, they are able to praise and follow their leaders. Thus, there is unity and the country can grow well. </p>

<p>On the contrary, dictatorship is not a favorable political system and therefore tends to be expunged from the world. In dictatorship, a leader holds all powers and makes decisions without concern of people. When citizens are ignored and treated badly, they tend to despise a leader and wanted a reform. In Thailand, a political revolution called "The Black October" was taken place as people despised and overthrew the government. Despite Thailand being a democratic country, the leader is the tyrant trying to hold all authorities. Dictatorship, in any case, is never justified. </p>

<p>Even so, treating people well should not always be done as a priority. Disagreements naturally arise as people have different perspectives. A leader, however, must be determined and have vision in order to bring achievements to majority despite of all conflicts. In Romance of Three Kingdoms, many times generals led their troops into battles even though the soldiers disagreed. However, because of experience and vision, the troops received victory. Considering achievements that would bring happiness to people first can bring praise to a leader later. </p>

<p>In conclusion, leaders should be judged by how well they treat people though sometimes achievements that bring happiness should be considered. The best leader, then, is the one who treats people well and is able to maintain success.</p>

<p>what was the prompt?</p>

<p>Don’t ever use “in conclusion” in the future.</p>

<p>Sent from my LS670 using CC</p>

<p>You need to include SPECIFIC examples to support your essay.</p>

<p>Sent from my LS670 using CC</p>

<p>It doesn’t look like English is your native language. Consider taking extra English classes, because your written English is quite poor by the SAT’s standards.</p>

<p>prompt: should leaders be judged by how well they treat people?</p>

<p>Change opening para completely. Then add some solid examples like that of Cadbury ( the chocolate story) and if possible add a nice quote at the beginning or at the end. Finish off with a cool one-liner and try to build up one more solid example…maybe Julius Caesar’s example.
That should do the trick
this essay should give you a score: 7-9.
Hope I’ve helped!</p>

<p>Thank you everyone!</p>

<p>@Spirral: My specific examples are the united states, “Black October” revolution, and romance of three kingdoms</p>