<p>I wrote a SAT essay based on the following topic:</p>
<p>"A mistakenly cynical view of human behaviour holds that people are primarily driven by selfish motives; the desire for wealth, for power or for fame. Yet history gives us many examples of individuals who have sacrificed their own welfare for a cause or a principle that they regarded as more important than their own lives. Conscience--that powerful inner voice that tells us what is right or what is wrong--can be a more compelling force than money, power or fame."</p>
<p>-> Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame or power?</p>
<p>My essay (22min):</p>
<p>No, I do not believe that conscience is a more powerful motivator as compared to money, fame and power. It is true that there are a few people whose morals are strong enough to resist the lure of a materialistic life, but these people are merely peppered into history like needles in a haystack. In a society governed by survival of the fittest, the majority of us seek to elevate ourselves through money or fame or power.</p>
<p>We only need to look at history to see that a large number of people, even the worlds numerous leaders, are motivated by any of the three, especially power. World War II(WWII) is an excellent example of a case of needless bloodshed initiated by greed. Germany began its invasion into countries because of three main reasons--to build a German Empire in Europe, to let the Aryan race dominate and to take revenge on other European countries for its humiliating defeat in World War I. Driven by visions of ruling Europe, Hitler sent millions of soldiers out onto the battlefield to engage in combat. Over the course of WWII, countless people of multiple nationalities were sacrificed by the sake of one mans lust for power. The ironic thing is, World War I had been labelled as the war to end all wars. Evidently, it is impossible for humanity to uproot its core nature. The large majority of human beings are driven by money, fame or power.</p>
<p>Moreover, for a long time now, it has been impossible to survive without money. Even those who have no means of finding a healthy income support themselves through begging. Recently, I watched an episode of Scam City, in which the narrator explores the streets of New Delhi, India to discover how the begging industry operates. He came across a group of traffic light beggars who wait for red lights to sell various doohickeys such as sunglasses or roses. A woman whom the narrator interviewed mourned her six-year-old child who had been run over by a car during a begging session. But what choice did she have? In order to earn money to support herself and the rest of her children, she suppressed her conscience and continued to send her children to potential death. </p>
<h2>In conclusion, conscience is, as a whole, not a more powerful motivator than money, fame or power. The former may be the voice that guides us towards morally right situations, but the smell of the latter is what lures us towards success. And for most humans, success is what we ultimately aim for. </h2>
<p>Thank you! Please grade it from 2-12 and tell me where I went wrong!</p>