grade my essay please

<p>Prompt: Are people's lives the result of the choices they make?</p>

<p>Descartes once said "I think therefore I am." Simply put, one's identity is determined by one's thought. Similarly, our lives are determined by our choices although we could not choose to be born as what we want. There are literary and historical evidences that support my thesis. </p>

<p>In Stowe's Uncle Tom's Cabin, slavery dominated American societies. African slaves were obligated to serve their white masters as if the slaves were possessed things. Black people who were born in that era had no options but became slaves. After a long suffering, many slaves struggled for freedom. In one event, Eliza had run away from slave traders and leaped into frozen Ohio River to cross the border to Northern States where there was support for abolition of slavery. Finally, Eliza and her reunited in Canada and gained freedom. We can see that event though Eliza could not choose to be born as white, her choice and determination to struggle could bring her a long desired life, freedom. </p>

<p>The life of Confucius is a historical example. Born in abject poverty, Confucius lived a suffering life in his early childhood. Even so, Confucius worked hard to receive education and have good society. After a painstaking life, he became a great philosopher and had great influences on millions of Chinese people. Although he could not choose to be rich in the first place, his choice and ambition gave him a better life. </p>

<p>From literary and historical evidences, we clearly see that our choices determined our lives rather than our backgrounds. Just as Eliza was a slave by race, so Confucius lived an impoverished life. Nonetheless, they were able to find their desire lives because of their choices. Now it is important to know that your destiny lies in your own hand.</p>

<p>bump bump bump</p>

<p>bump, anyone? thanks in advance</p>

<p>Your essay is good, though there is some technical stiffness. You have to know that what the essay is essentially about is making an argument, and the basic structure for argumentation is as follows: State your position, state a main reason for your position, cite evidence for your reason in the form of examples or instances, and summarize your argument to show the relevancy of your justified position (this part answers any “so what?” questions after your argument).
Overall you generally followed this pattern, but you just need to lighten up your tone and be more elaborate on your reasoning.
I hope this helped.</p>

<p>thanks! any suggestions will do. btw, what is the score range?</p>