Grade my essay please

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>Prompt: Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it? Plan and write an essay...</p>

<p>Heroism is having the courage to stand up and say what others won't. Many of the people who lived as heroes had the bravery to stand up for what they believed, and therefore helped change the world. This can be supported by many events and people in both history and literature.</p>

<p>Mahatma Gandhi, born on October 2, 1869, is regarded as a hero throughout the world. Gandhi lived through a time where India was controlled by the British. Although Britain placed harsh laws on India, no one from India had the courage to stand up for him or herself, or India as a whole. However, this ended when Gandhi had enough of the unfairness of the British control, and decided it was time to emancipate from Britain. Through his brave tactics, such as peaceful rebellions, and hunger strikes, Gandhi helped India become independent from Britain. Thus, since Gandhi is known as a hero throughout the world, it is clear that his heroism is a result of his courage, bravery, and ability to stand up for himself and country when no one else would.</p>

<p>In the novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee, Atticus Finch was a hero. Atticus was a man who stood up for what he believed in, no matter what others thought. This is shown when he accepts to defend Tom Robinson's case even though Tom Robinson was black. This shows bravery by Atticus because he knows accepting to defend Tom Robinson would change not only his life, but also his children's lives for the worse. However, since Atticus always stands up for what he believes in, which is that everyone deserves a fair case, no matter their background, he is the only person with enough courage to stand up for Tom Robinson. Because of his courage and bravery, Atticus Finch is known to be a hero.</p>

<p>After analyzing the actions of both Gandhi and Atticus Finch, it is clear that in order to be a hero, one needs to be brave and courageous. If one is unable to stand up for what he or she believes, it will not be possible to be characterized as a hero.</p>

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<p>I’d say a 9 or 10? Its a bit monotonous. Try putting some adjectives in and improve transitions. And a slighly more detailed conclusion would probably help too. Otherwise pretty good. However, im judging from the perspective of a guy whos giving the SAT in 10 days so what do i know :P</p>

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<p>I would give it a 10 too. You could make it better by improving the conclusion. Leaving the reader with a powerful ending.</p>

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<p>I would say it is a bit too formatted and cookie-cutterish for me. But that’s what you essentially have to do for SAT. For your Gandhi paragraph, the line “no one from India had the courage to stand up for him or herself, or India as a whole” is fallacious. Many, namely Rani Lakshmibai (a woman!), stood up for their rights. I would say to avoid such generalized statements that add no real value to what you are saying. I know they are easy when under a time constraint but at least make sure your information is correct. Most importantly, however, you answered the prompt but there was not much writing prowess illustrated in your essay. I would give it upwards to a 9 or 10 because you did what you were supposed to do, but could have executed it better. Good job, though. You’re most of the way there.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the advice</p>

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<p>Thanks for the advice</p>

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<p>I would be a little harsh here, but completely honest. </p>

<p>This will get an 8.</p>

<p>First of all, its too small. A two digit score in essay MUST have minimum of 400 words. Any less, your score will suffer.</p>

<p>Second, try putting one more example. Three examples, though difficult to fit, will definitely help you. Reduce your intro and conclusion if you have to, but somehow fit in one more example. Remember, there are more marks for examples than for conclusion/intro.</p>

<p>Third, although not as important as the above two, avoid using cliched examples. Mahatma Gandhi is used by almost every second child who writes an essay.</p>

<p>Fourth, show some vocab. Especially in the first and last paragraph, use one or two difficult words. The readers judge your literary skills based on that. Although this tip may be opposed by some people, I have seen more than 20 actual SAT essays of my friends and have seen that every double digit score has hi-fi vocab stuffed in it.</p>

<p>If you follow these tips, guaranteed you’ll get a 11/12.</p>

<p>P.S: I got a 12 in my October SAT. I got an 8 in my May SAT. What made the difference? The above tips.</p>