Grade My Essay Please

<p>So here it is. I wrote my first practice SAT essay today. Personally, I'm pretty disappointed in this, as I feel I can write much better. However, given the time constraint and limited expectations of the College Board, I think this is enough to earn a decent score, but I do have one major worry. While examples came to my mind with relative ease for what I decided to write about, I think I deviated a bit from what the prompt was going for. If that's the case, definitely let me know. Otherwise, I would really appreciate if someone could score my essay, thanks!</p>

<p>Some of you would probably recognize the prompt as the practice one on the College Board's website. To reiterate:</p>

<p>Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private?</p>

<p>Privacy is among the most sacred rights of the individual. Privacy grants society an independence and responsibility so crucial that classic authors and even the founding fathers defend it. Therefore, people are obligated to keep their innermost thoughts and feelings to themselves.</p>

<p>The essential nature of privacy is so magnanimous that classical novelists repeatedly make it a theme of their works. For example, in 1984, George Orwell describes a seemingly utopian world in which the omniscient Big Brother watches everyone. Big Brother exists for the security and stability of the greater good, but ultimately only brings chaos and conflict. Orwell clearly intended to remind the world that eliminating privacy crushes individuality and therefore he encouages readers to cherish their own secrets.</p>

<p>Prominent figures throughout history have also seen the need for privacy. The authors of the American Constitution believed that privacy was a natural right all humans should possess. Consequently, the made it unconstitutional for the government to search homes or seize properties without a judicial warrant. This effort demonstrates that privacy, like all natural rights, is equally important as national security.</p>

<p>In today's society where information can diffuse at unprecedented rates, people often feel an impulse to reveal their secrets. However, an innumerable quantity of patriots and innovators predicted this occurrence and gave society the inspiration to maintain their individuality in the form of novels and legal documents. </p>

<p>Thank you so much!</p>

<p>well i’ll give it a 8-9. this essay is short(try to write longer by adding detailed examples). the examples are nice, although the 1984 example can be fabulous if you just elaborated the relationship b/w “privacy” and "chaos and conflict. "
as for the founding fathers, just try to add some details like putting in names like Thomas Jefferson and John Adams. That’ll make you fancy.</p>

<p>I agree with jsquare. It’s pretty short. Add more specific details to your examples and expand the intro to mention the examples you are going to use. Long is really key on SAT essays, so if you can learn to write long ones, you’ll do well.</p>

<p>I think you’d better give some vivid examples in your essays. You can prepare for the examples by reading some stories or searching on the Internet. In addition, the lack of examples in essay may lead to a short essay. Don’t worry. After some practice, you will be better.</p>