<p>Prompt: Do you think that ease does not challenge us and that we need adversity to help us discover who we are?</p>
<p>One who is surrounded solely by ease is likely to submit to complacency, which may lead to stagnation. Often, adversity acts as that jolt of change which causes one to question himself. As evident through both a historical perspective and one from personal experience, adversity is imperative to help one discover his true self.</p>
<p>The slave holders of the 19th century were faced with adversity--in the form of the abolitionist movement--which helped them gain an introspective discovery. As early as in 1619, when the first slave ship met the Atlantic coast, slavery was implemented in American society. Since it became such an integral part of both American economy and society, slavery was initially faced with weak opponents; the proponents of slavery represented a much more prodigious and powerful force. However, the opposition of slavery did indeed grow; radical abolitionists such as William Lloyd Garrison and Fredrick Douglass opposed the immoral practice and sought its demise. After the ratification of the 13th Amendment abolished the practice, abolitionists had gained that for which they had so vehemently fought. The abolition of slavery--caused by the adversity which slaveholders faced--caused them to realize how wrong and immoral their practice was --and that no proper justification could be made for its continuation in America.</p>
<p>In a similar manner, one of my peers in elementary school faced adversity which provided her with knowledge of herself. My classmate had a sophisticated and abundant vocabulary which she utilized in a school-wide essay competition. Having won the contest in prior years, she had no doubt that she was going to win yet again . Despite her ardent efforts, she was overly-confident and quite pompous; an equally-bright classmate instead won the essay contest. Only since another classmate won the award was my peer able to understand that she may be too overly-confident and that in the future she must portray a more humble demeanor.</p>
<p>Through facing adversity, both 19th century salve holders and my overly-confident classmate learned a great deal about themselves. The adversity which these individuals faced acted as that jolt in stagnation; without adversity, these individuals would have remained complacent and unyielding to necessary progression.</p>
<p>I’d say its a 9 (maybe 10). The first example didn’t make all that much sense to me. I just kinda get lost following it. I think your second example is good though. Also adding a third example would greatly improve the essay. How many pages did you fill up with this essay?</p>
<p>I have always done two examples… 
worked for me last time (got an 11). And it filled up 2 pages almost exactly. Any one else like to grade it/give input?</p>
<p>Two examples is enough. You have great historical examples (ie exact dates, names) and a strong argument.</p>
<p>Provided that you can write something of this same caliber on the test, I’d give you an 11/12. But you know odd numbers don’t mean anything, this is definitely quality work.</p>
<p>It didn’t sound very natural…like you were trying as hard as you could to find an excuse to use big words…Plus I think you need to integrate the topics you want to talk about into your introduction. The transitions were pretty poorly done. I would give you a 3/4</p>
<p>@Adrenaline - thanks 
and yes I know odd numbers don’t mean anything, but it’s difficult to say an essay is for sure a 12. When an essay is better than a 10, 11 seems to be a logical number to choose (even though an 11 means that your readers disagree). Nevertheless, I’m glad you see promise in my essay :D</p>
<p>@daiviko - can you give an example of “trying as hard as you could to find an excuse to use big words”? I find that the most annoying thing (when people use big words for the sake of using big words) and I really strive to avoid that. And “why should I integrate the topics you want to talk about into your introduction”? I have been advised to keep the thesis broad, and I think that makes more sense…Regardless, though, why would that so dramatically reduce my score?</p>
<p>So I have been give a score as low as a 6/12 (by daiviko) and as a high as an 11/12 (by Adrenaline)…those are obviously quite different. Can I have more input, so that I can more accurately predict what this essay would have received?</p>
<p>The question “Do you think that ease does not challenge us and that we need adversity to discover who we are?” suggests that an adversity can cultivate a person’s character. In other words, tough challenges can reveal our strengths and weaknesses. In my opinion, knowledge of our true abilities is best discovered when we endure hardships, thus, we learn from experiences and grow into a more prudent being. Throughout society and in life, the evidence to support my viewpoint is pervasive.
A vivid example would be Thomas Edison in the United States in the late 1800s. Edison invented the light bulb through a carbon filament. Failing 200 times before discovering the right combination, he said that he didn’t fail, “I discovered 200 ways how not to light a bulb.” Thomas Edison had to go through failure which tested his character.
Also, take note of Michael Jordan in the United States in the late 1900s. Michael was a phenomenal basketball player from Brooklyn, New York. Under the critical gaze of the media, Michael was swayed to practice vigorously to prove that he was worthy of positive recognition. Because of pressure, he purged on and endured troubles and came out as a star.
Finally, consider the case of Martin Luther King in the Southern U.S. in the mid 1900s. King was a civil rights activist who fought to banish racism and prejudice. The gruesome threats and harsh treatment to him and his friends geared Martin to step out for change. If Martin hadn’t being in danger, he wouldn’t have realized and activated his hidden potential.
Clearly, the example above show that people discover who they are when challenged with adversity. Michael Jordan wouldn’t have become a basketball star if he hadn’t practiced intensely to silence his critics. Martin Luther King wouldn’t be known as he is today if he hadn’t stepped out of comfort, and faced adversity. Only by facing hardships, can we discover who we truly are.</p>
<p>icydarkknight, do you think my essay is of similar caliber to yours?</p>
<p>■■■■■ i find it funny how people on here were giving it a 9. I read the first two sentences and im like pssh ***…sounds so professional. I used simple easy baby sentences and got an 11!</p>
<p>Titilatingwoman, thanks! yeah, I kind of was expecting a 10+…Although I know that “sounding professional” doesn’t always equate to a high score, I thought my essay was solid in other respects.</p>
<p>Other grades/input is highly appreciated! :D</p>