<p>Prompt: What motivates people to change?
Self improvement is the main motivation for change. This idea is supported by multiple examples in history, literature and pop culture.
In the life of Ghandi, a chain of events that lead to his father's death motivated him to change. One day, while his father was sick, Ghandi, who was supposed to be taking care of his father, left his father briefly to satisfy some of his urges with his wife upstairs. After Ghandi had come back down stairs to check on his father, Ghandi discovered his father had died. Ghandi who believed this surrender to temptation was a fault and wished to correct it. Ghandi, in turn, spent the rest of his life living with a dedication to duty, attempting to correct his faults.
As demonstrated by the main character, Winston in the book 1984, Winston's transition to internal rebellion towards the oppressive Big Brother was an attempt to change the way he thought and improve himself. Winston's fear of the government throughout the beginning of 1984 contributed to his unhappiness. He began writing in a journal and had realized that this act of rebellion had already guaranteed his eventual death but this had gotten him a sense of rebellion and freedom that eventually made him a happier person. Winston viewed his banal, unhappy mood and lifestyle as a fault and sought to improve it by giving himself happiness and freedom, atleast mentally.
Christopher Soprano, from the television show the sopranos, had sought to change himself by giving up his addiction to drugs and, in the end, recieve more trust from the boss. Christopher, as he advanced through the ranks of the New Jersey Mafia had wondered why the boss, Tony had been giving Chris such a hard time in monetary benefits as well as personal trust. Tony eventually explained the reasoning behind his lack of trust towards Christopher was that Tony never trusted drug users. This motivated Chris to change as Chris did not want his use of drugs to interfere with his career advancement and wanted to improve his stand within the mafia.
The main motivation for change, self improvement, whether mental, physical or financial has shown to be commonly witnessed within pop culture, history and literature.</p>
<p>Meteman, </p>
<p>I think you lack critical thinking about your content. Your life story is so familiar to Ghandi’s, it’s hard to have perspective on it without analyzing it. You should refer back to your personal and academic experiences as worthy of reflection and analysis.</p>
<p>Overall, leave Ghandi alone.</p>
<p>all you have there’s references…nothing original…</p>
<p>not being heartless…i showed it to my teacher…</p>
<p>Christopher Soprano? ygtbk. And, haven’t you already applied to college?
It’s Christopher Moltisanto. And, please be sure your best bet is to go from Ghandi to Orwell to a tv show about mobsters.</p>
<p>For the record, I got a 12 on the October SAT, so **** you haters. I’ve realized how vain this is, none of you know how to grade the SAT essay.
BTW I made up a book, a statistic AND I DID USE GHANDI.
Get at me bro/</p>
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<p>You might have written a 12 in the past, and good on you for doing so, but this essay is no 12. I’d give it a 9, 10 if you’re lucky. I grade essays for a living, and practice on official College Board graded essays that I get from my students all the time to stay sharp. </p>
<p>Here are a few things about this essay that aren’t so hot:</p>
<p>“Ghandi who believed this surrender to temptation was a fault and wished to correct it.” is a fragment.</p>
<p>“He began writing in a journal and had realized that this act of rebellion had already guaranteed his eventual death but this had gotten him a sense of rebellion and freedom that eventually made him a happier person.” That’s a lot of incompatible tenses for one paragraph. Try “He began writing in a journal and realized that this act of rebellion would guarantee his eventual death, but enjoyed the sense of rebellion and freedom the writing gave him.”</p>
<p>Your conclusion (which, by the way, is not even a necessary ingredient to a 12 essay) basically amounts to “A lot of people have seen this thing I’m talking about.” Saying something has “shown to be witnessed” isn’t a very convincing argument.</p>
<p>Honestly, I wouldn’t have said anything if it didn’t seem like you came on here with this post looking to insult people. But since you asked, this essay has some pretty major flaws. If you’re going to be taking the SAT again despite your triumphant 12, perhaps you should spend more time practicing and less time bragging, lest you disappoint yourself.</p>
<p>^^ I’m done with the SAT, and btw I wrote my 12 essay a week after I wrote the essay that I posted in this thread. You obviously don’t know what your talking about b/c I did get a 12 with a similiar style of writing.</p>
<p>Notice the date this thread was started. September 28th.</p>
<p>Dang meteman…You asked for peoples’ advice and you got it. I don’t know what your mad about</p>