Grade my essay plz....

<p>Range 1-6
Thanks in advance!</p>

<p>Topic: Are we free to to make our own choices in life, or are our decisions always limited by the rules of society?</p>

<pre><code> As people live in a society, they benefit as a part of a group; social welfare and public facilities are the definite examples of numerous benefits. However, a society does not always give out everything; it wants something back from the people in return. A society requires a set limitation on an individual's freedom. Therefore, as long as people live in societies, their decisions are always limited by the society and its rules.

One of Fitzegerald's masterpiece "The Great Gatsby" shows an epitome of the limitation of the society on people. Two main characters Gatsby and Daisy were sincere loves until they are confronted by social rules - classes. Bron and raised by wealthy family, Daisy is forced to marry another rich man. A marriage between a man and a woman in no longer their personal choices; rather it extends until it reaches the amalgamation of two rich families. Therefore, Gatsby, who was born in a poor family and finally lost all his family at the last, could not achieve his love with Daisy. Even thoguh this two people loved each other so much, they are not allowed to make their own decisions for their lives because of the rules of the society.

Another great fiction "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinback also greatly represents how a society can limit an indivisual's decision. Candy, an old and disabled rancher has an old dog that cannot even eat well because of its age. In spite of the desire of Candy, the owner, the society which is a group of rachers with who Candy live, decides to kill the dog. Candy could not make his own decision for his dogs due to the pressure by its social peers and social rules as an individual living with other member of a society.

A society can mean either the entire world or a social group in which an individual lives. The important thing is, people are not always free to make their own decisions. Ranging from a small decision of the pets till a big decision of love and marriage, the rules of the society always control people and their lives.
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<p>Thanks again!!!</p>

<p>I bet the SAT reviewers get tired of reading essays about The Great Gatsby…</p>

<p>haha</p>

<p>I would say anywhere from 10-12. You might not get a 12 because it does not flow 100% smoothly. Also, try not to always use just literature references in your essay–personally, I never use literature references You can use 1 literature reference and then a personal experience if you’d like, it helps to have variety. It’s a good essay but I would suggest showing your writing skills more by using metaphors and such, it helps. This is coming from a person who got two 12 essays.</p>

<p>Thank you! I heard lots comment about the flow of my essay. I don’t think any other ways to make it better except for practicing! I hope I can get better…(hopefully soon) Thanks for your comment:D</p>

<p>I think you can switch the place of the two examples and there will be a progression in the content.</p>