<p>I think its a 3 but you could get to a 4 because you have good length. There are grammatical problems sprinkled throughout (" people who was", “adulter”) and I didnt find your argument that convincing. </p>
<p>For instance, your first example uses the example of people who are physically jailed. That seems extreme. What about the vast majority of the population that arent incarcerated- they have different level of self-discipline but their apparently level of freedom is identical under your criterion. I think that you would be better of demonstrating how a low level of self-control (not doing homework, spending all of your money) leads to lack of freedom of choice (not having the grades to get into college, not having money saved to buy a house). </p>
<p>Your 3rd example is the strongest- contrasting the success of well organized movements to the havoc of Harper’s Ferry. That is supporting your thesis. </p>
<p>In general you have a good structure for your essay so you should be able to get to a 5 with stronger examples. For a 6 you should really used the conclusion to demonstrate that your argument progressed and supports your thesis from a variety of perspectives.</p>