grade my essay.

Test Preparation
1

<p>I wrote this essay in the format I usually write in school. I just want to know if this would work for the SAT essay and what grade would this essay get if I did turn it in? Took me 30 minutes to write this. </p>

<p>Are people bond to tell the truth at all time, or are there situation in which it is better to lie or tell partial truth?</p>

<p>For friends, family, and foes to truly bond, everyone must step out of white lies and talk truthfully. Throughout childhood to adulthood, numerous tales and anecdotes are told about the negative consequences of lying. Although many believe that white lies cannot hurt anyone, the truth will alleviate and benefit yourself and everyone surrounding you. </p>

<p>Told to kids at a young age, many bedtime stories feature one major theme: truth. Remember the story of the boy who cried wolf? Everyday, the young shepard herded his sheep up the grassland hills. The hills are known for murderous wolves and the boy decides to play a little prank on the neighboring families. Everyday he would lie by screaming, "Ahh! The wolves are coming". Day after day, the boy lied and the neighbors ran outside to "help" him. After many false cries, when he really did need the help, no one believed him. Thus, lying can be dangerous and deadly.</p>

<p>Even in romance novels, truth plays a major role. One of my favorite series, The Princess Diaries, features a girl who endures the daily troubles and problems of a teenager. Mia, the girl, is a very diffident person. She prefer not to share her true feelings to anyone. By the eighth book, she had to decide whether she continue the relationship or break up with her long time boyfriend. Hiding all feelings and lying how she truly feels, by the last book she feels completely heartbroken and lost. Clearly not only truth affect you mentally, but also emotionally. </p>

<p>Furthermore, in real life, many situations arise whether or not you decide to tell lie. White lies are supposedly harmless; but the long-term effect, it can turn out negatively. For example, lying how much you love that headband can cause your family members to buy you more and more atrocious hair accessories. Lying how much you love the color pink can become a new pink bubblegum colored room. Obviously, telling lies can cause detrimental events in the future.</p>

<p>Indeed, lying can affect your life mentally, physically, and emotionally. Though sometimes telling the truth is hard and scary, telling a lie will show your friends that you are not trustworthy. Demonstrated through classic children anecdotes to sappy teenage novels to real life problems, for people to truly bond, everyone must be straightforward and truthful.</p>

2

<p>I’d say 8 or 9.</p>

3

<p>7-8</p>

<p>10char</p>

4

<p>Hey how can I improve?</p>

<p>I know I need to add better word choice, but what else?</p>

5

<p>you could answer the question more by following up better on the excellent details</p>

6

<p>Use 2 concrete examples and elaborate a lot, and try to write as long an essay as possible.
Try to use examples that you are VERY familiar with.
The best options are historical and literary figures, preferably well known ones.
I got an 11 on the sat essay using this advice.</p>

7

<p>personally, (or is it just me), I think this deserves 10 or higher.
I think I wrote a way shoddier essay in my actual SAT and I got a 9 (somewhat surprised).
taking that it took you 30 minutes though, maybe you should try to write/think faster :D</p>

8

<p>So basically it’s time for me to crack open the history books? :D</p>

9

<p>Keep it all in present tense… I see you’ve thrown in some future and a few pasts but seriously, keep it consistent!
Yet, the content is very good!</p>

10

<p>Generally, for a 25 minute essay, your writing mechanics are pretty good. You can improve the flow somewhat by avoiding passive sentences. That said, the writing is in line for 10 to 11 scores.</p>

<p>What’s weak however are your examples. They lack depth. So there’s merit in your thought about opening up those history books. Or, in the same spirit, to think about world leaders and how they’ve managed complex situations, either in modern time or in the past. Or, examples based on successful business leaders, lawyers, etc. Or novels.Take for example John F Kennedy and the Cuban Missile Crisis. How did he communicate with the Russians, and what did he tell the American people? “Omission” is also a form of “limiting truth”. Or take a book such as the Scarlet Letter or Crime and Punishment. These novels have a great deal to say about “omission” and partial truth. With better examples your essay would show a higher level of sophistication and maturity.</p>

11

<p>I would give this a 9 or a 10. The way to improve is to use examples (2 or howmany), but make sure there is a lot of elaboration to get that 11 or 12. Also using good vocab helps improve your score a lot</p>