Grade my essay?

<p>I'd really appreciate it if someone could give me a rough idea of how much this essay is worth. It's the prompt from practice test 2 about Community Service from the Real Act Guide. I know it's a bit rough but i didn't leave myself enough time to proof read. Thanks. :)</p>

<p>Community service is a great opportunity to supplement a rewarding experience into the high school curriculum. Requiring community service to be a requirement can provide students with an enriching experience. And although there will always be critics who disagree, having community service hours enacted into the curriculum can benefit students by exposing them to something they may end up loving, letting them become involved in making an impact, and discovering a future career.</p>

<p>Though some students may see a community service requirement as forcing them to do something they won't want to do, they might actually discover a love or a knack for helping others. For example, my school requires a minimum of 26 hours of community service prior to graduation. At first, I had no enthusiasm what so ever about wasting my Saturdays helping little kids. But once I got there, my whole attitude changed. I loved helping the many kids. In no time at all, I looked forward to seeing these kids every week. When I ended my service I immeditly made plans to help out again in the summer. Without this service requirement I would never have discovered how enriching my Saturdays could be when I was spending them helping others. </p>

<p>Furthermore, helping the kids at my service site allowed me the privileged of knowing I was making a difference. To see joy on a kid's face after I helped him complete a puzzle, filled me with a sense of purpose. Before going to service, my life had fallen into a routine where everyday was like the one before. Going to community service let me see that I was really making a difference in someone's life. I was able to reach out and help kids who may not have always had someone looking out for them like that. </p>

<p>Some students may see community service as a waste of time, but for me, I found something I loved doing. I loved spending time helping the kids during my service. My hours of doing service made me consider being a teacher. So many high school students have no idea what they want to do with their lives. As in my case, community service could actually help them find the right road. </p>

<p>Community service hours should be implamented into a highschooler's curriculum. Being a student required to have 26 hours of community service, I can honestly say the experience was a rewarding one. Serving my community helped me discover a passion for impacting and making a difference in someone's life. It has allowed me to live beyond myself.</p>

<p>I’ve received a 12 on my SAT essay and have competed in some writing competitions so don’t take me as a person who is just trying to bash on your essay. I’ll give you concrete criticism.</p>

<p>If I had written on this prompt, I would have provided more concrete, direct examples that would have an impact or an impression on the reader. You, more so, utilized empirical evidence in the development of your argument. Your one example about your community service was the only real argument you played well. Heck, it was your only argument/example at all. My advice is to be more careful with your writing and use more fact-driven sources. </p>

<p>So, overall if I was grading this essay, I would give it an 8.</p>

<p>Thanks, I don’t take it as an insult. I appreciate the criticism if it can help me learn what not to do when it comes to the real thing.</p>

<p>what exactly could we use for examples?</p>

<p>history?
personal?
abstract made-up history?</p>

<p>for example (relating to this essay) could i say that “Teddy Roosevelt did community service for the nation by building the panama canal”?</p>

<p>I agree. Use maybe one of two concrete and current event-ish pieces of evidence to support your personal experiences and logic.</p>

<p>7-9.</p>

<p>Be sure to proof your essay for spelling and run-on sentences.</p>

<p>Great start, though.</p>