grade my essay?

<p>Alright, so I took the practice test that college board provide's on their website, and somehow, the e-rater automated essay scoring thing gave me a 12. I was hoping somebody would read the essay and let me know how accurate/inaccurate this score was. </p>

<p>Assignment: Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way?</p>

<p>Rigidity and rules are what usually cause people to lose their sense of creativity and personal style. People accomplish more when they are allowed to do things the way they would normally do them, without being forced to conform to a set procedure or standard. All human beings are unique, and not one person is exactly to similar to any other person. Shouldn't this mean that we all be allowed to do things in our unique ways? It cannot possibly be expected that everybody function in the same way. This can be portrayed in the way in which many great scientists struggled with the way of teaching prevalent in their time, and also from the realm of history. </p>

<p>The knowledge of Albert Einstein's theory of relativity and his formation of the formula E=mc2 is ubiquitous. Almost everyone regards Einstein as a physics genius. However, what's not universally known is that at the age of 15, Albert Einstein dropped out of school because he was unhappy with the way of teaching that he was made to undergo in his school in Germany. He was not able to conform with the rigid structure set up and the stringent sets of rules that were to be followed. Also, in school, it is known that Einstein's teachers called him a very "average student." Not being able to cope with the amount of discipline there, Einstein dropped out of school and moved to Switzerland, where the rest of his family was living. Later on after finishing his study's while facing much adversity, Einstein hit a turning point in his life when he was offered a job at a patent office. From that point on, Einstein began working on his scientific theory's and continued to work in the realms of physics and mathematics till his last breath. The childhood of Albert Einstein illustrates to us that while being forced to conform to the way of teaching at a school, he was not able to succeed. But when dropped into a practical scenario, Einstein began to flourish. </p>

<p>Similarly, India's world renown nationalist, Mahatma Gandhi, also portrayed to us that when he attempted to free India from British rule by using his own methods, he was successful. Many extremist nationalists during Gandhi's era such as Subhash Chandra Bose resorted to fairly violent measures in order to seek liberation. However, Mahatma Gandhi applied methods during the freedom struggle that no other nationalists had ever used before. Gandhi used passive resistance in stead of violence, as well as the methods of Satyagraha. He was a firm believer of Ahimsa (non-violence). Using his own unique method of striving for emancipation, Gandhi eventually got all of India to follow in his leadership. Without lifting a finger to strike a blow, or loading a single gun, Gandhi used tactics such as boycotting British goods, and sending petitions to the British government to eventually get his way. In 1947, India was granted freedom thanks to Gandhi and his leadership. Gandhi's firm beliefs led him to use his own way to fight off the foreign government, and this way proved to accomplish much more than was ever accomplished before. </p>

<p>Just as it is seen that Albert Einstein burgeoned when released from the structured system of education prevalent in Germany, and Gandhi led an entire nation to freedom through his own unique methods of fighting for liberation, many other people seem to flourish when they use ways that work best for them in order to succeed. If people were all forced to work in a similar way, and nobody was allowed to digress from the norm, many of the discoveries made today would not be possible and many of the historical incidents that took place would not have occurred. It is uniqueness, working in a way that nobody else does, and thinking outside of the box that generally causes a paradigm shift to take place, and new ideas to form.</p>

<p>Your intro and conclusion are good, but go on too long. We dont need both “Shouldn’t this mean that we all be allowed to do things in our unique ways?” and " It cannot possibly be expected that everybody function in the same way.".</p>

<p>I wanted to like the Einstein example but the issue you identify seems too vague. What are these "rigid structure set up and the stringent sets of rules "? Are there specific rules you are pointing to? Or do you want to claim that he was required to take a lot of subjects he wasnt good in and therefor was average? “Einstein hit a turning point in his life when he was offered a job at a patent office.” how does that imply that he was allowed to do things his own way? You need to make this more explicit. </p>

<p>The Gandhi example is better (I think we’ve seen this a few times for this prompt) but I think you’d want to more sharply draw the distinction that Gandhi was breaking from the conventional approach. Maybe Bose implies that, I dont know. The conventional way of breaking away from the British Empire was armed insurrection, as in the case of the United States and Ireland. Just naming checking those establishes that Gandhi is acting outside of the mainstream and going his own way.</p>