grade my first sat essay???

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>eh... my first one..
leave some comments?</p>

<p>“We often repent the good we have done as well as the ill”
Is it possible for the good and bad to come out of the same action?</p>

<p>We cannot view the decisions we make as entirely black or white, but as mixture of both sides. There are some good along with some bad that results from our decisions. During the Vietnam War, the USA tried to contain communism, but many lives were lost in the process. Technology also provides us a higher standard of living, but creates problems as well.</p>

<p>In the middle of the 20th century, communism posed a threat for the USA. Fearing many nations would convert into communist, the USA would offer military and economic aid to any nation trying to resist communism. President Lyndon B Johnson enforced war in Vietnam in an attempt to contain communism. Although he had good intentions, our nation thought opposed to his decision. Many soldiers were dying in the precarious jungles of Vietnam or held captives MIA. The people at the home front were able to witness the gruesomeness of the war.</p>

<p>Modern technology has a huge impact on today’s society. With phones we are able to communicate with others from long distances. With the internet, we are able to gain access to plethora information, do work, communicate, play games, watch movies, almost anything. However, just as technology makes our lives easier, it also creates more problems such as cyber bullying, viruses, hacking, etc. It may take a lot of knowledge to deal with them due to the growing difficulty.</p>

<p>The Vietnam war and modern technology both support the fact that good and bad can come out of the same action.</p>

2

<p>I would hazard a guess at the 6-8 range for your essay score. You need a clear thesis at the end of the first paragraph, and I’m not seeing one here. Your second sentence sounds gramatically awkward and needs clarification and/or rewording. Your third and fourth sentences, as well as the entire essay, need more connection words such as “similarly” and “in addition.” Your second and third paragraphs need to somehow restate your thesis that should have been made clear in the first paragraph. Your conclusion seems too short - try adding in one more last sentence, perhaps restating or clarifying on your examples (briefly, of course). Finally, be sure to be consistent with whatever “tense” your essay is set in - past or future.</p>

<p>What I do like about your essay is that you’re following the right formula (or the one I use anyway):</p>

<p>I. Introduction (but with a clear thesis)
II. Supporting Idea #1
III. Supporting Idea #2
IV. Conclusion</p>

<p>Good luck on future essays.</p>

<p>Source: 800 Writing on the SAT [With 11 and 12 Essays]</p>