<p>I took a practice test from the Official Study Guide and I need someone to grade my essay.</p>
<p>Prompt: Can success be disastrous?</p>
<p>Many people misconceptualized success as a short term goal; when success is reached, people just slack off and no longer give their 110%. Therefore success can be a misnomer and lead to disaster. One example can be seen in one individual named Carlos Boozer, owner and and CEO of an investor firm.</p>
<p>During the 1990's, Carlos Boozer became a fresh graduate from Harvard Business School. His passion was to successfully open up his own investment firm and be the CEO. In his memoir, he accounts his early days working at Wall Street as "tedious...and running around in circles." However, by the end of 1999, Boozer became a branch manager at Goldman Sachs. He finally quit his job and started his won "Boozer Investment International." After almost a decade of running around for others, he had opened his own firm. However, 3 months after the opening of his new investment firm, Boozer began to lose clients left and right. He later explained in his memoir that he become accustomed to the luxury of success and forgot about his clients and his job; instead he worried about inconsequential things such as buying luxury cars and going to country clubs. Soon Boozer Investment International became bankrupt. Carlos Boozer in this case worked hard for success, but still ended up with a financial disaster. His imperfection as a human influenced him to lust after mere distractions and forget about the clients, the hand that fed him. Therefore, success can be a precursor of disasters, especially when the successful individual beings to wonder about things not related to his success. </p>
<p>Another example of success being disastrous is the end of WWI. After the Central Power surrendered, the Allied Powers had thought they finished a war that was the end to all wars; however, their success was another of disaster. The Treaty of Versailles that was signed at the end of the war forced Germany to reconcile the damages by paying millions of dollars to the European nations. During that time, most of Europe was in turmoil and was in need of money. Eventually, Germany fell into economic recession due to inflation. The Germans tried to pay their debt with freshly printed currency, since Germany never did have enough substantial currency to pay for the damages of WWI. This economic recession led to the rise of Adolf Hitler, Germany's economic savior who committed atrocities against humanity. </p>
<p>Many times, success come at some cost; sometimes the cost arrives after the success. In the situation of Carlos Boozer, it was his human fallacy that led to his downfall from his successful entrepreneur position. The win and success of WWI, blinded the Allies to think that it was the end of all wars. Therefore, leading to their mistake of an unreasonable enforcement of repayment from Germany, which led to even more extreme versions of disaster. In a world full of fallacy, there will always be a "downhill" followed after an "uphill."</p>
<p>^The first example used above is all fictional and the second example may contain incorrect historical information. </p>
<p>Please read through, give a score out of 10, and explain what I can do to improve my essay. Thanks!</p>
Can you give me an example of starting my paragraph with a strong topic sentence? I thought the reader focused more on the beginning and end of the essay rather than the middle.</p>