Grade my not so great sat essay?

<p>I tried to follow this format: <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>I couldn't think of a 3rd example that was good enough. I know my Animal Farm example isnt too strong either.</p>

<p>"That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only which gives everything its value." -Thomas Paine</p>

<p>Do we value only what we struggle for?</p>

<p>Struggling to accomplish one’s goal is the key component in the things one values. Several examples from literary works and current events clearly demonstrate that struggling is the core to the things one values.</p>

<p>Thorugh the actions of Greg Mortenson, an American who has been building schools in Pakistan, we can see what Mortenson values through his struggles. While he was hiking the mountain k2 in Pakistan, he came across the small village of Korphe, which was filled with uneducated children. In an effort to provide the children of Korphe a better life, he promised to build a school to help provide the opportunity to learn. Even though Grag Mortenson’s intentions were good, he was faced with fierce opposition from many neighboring villages. Regardless of the threats, Greg did whatever he could to acquire the supplies necessary to build a school. He traveled back to the U.S. to start an organization, the Central Asian Institute, to help fund the creation of schools in Pakistan. Because of his effots, he was able to build fifty one schools in Pakistan, including one in Korphe. Greg Mortenson struggled to provide a school for the village of Korphe because he believed that all children should be given the opportunity to learn. Therefore, Greg Mortenson’s actions prove that he struggled for something he truly valued and wanted others to have the same opportunities he had.</p>

<pre><code>In the novel, Animal Farm by George Orwell, Boxer values the windmill that he struggled to provide for his common animals. Boxer was never one to question the orders of Napoleon, the dictator of the farm. As life free of humans progressed on Animal Farm, Boxer was clearly the most diligent worker. He struggled in carrying carts of stane up the hill, but he never gave up. At times, he questioned the orders of Napolion, but he decided to follow the maxim that “Napoleon is always right.” When a violent storm toppled the frail windmill, Boxer was devastated. All the time and energy he spent to contribute to his community had gone to waste. There fore Boxer’s actions prove that we only value the things we struggled for.
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<p>After a careful analysis of Greg Mortenson, and Animal Farm, one can see that struggling for something one desires increases its value. Without a struggle, one will never fully appreciate what he or she worked so diligently for. To struggle is the key to all things one values.</p>