Grade my SAT essay please?

<h2>Assignment: Are we free to make our own choices in life, or are our decisions always limited by the rules of society? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experiences, or observations. </h2>

<h2>Being free to make our own decisions has always been the dreams of many. Students are always looking forward to the weekends with alacrity since no teachers or bells could limit their decisions, likewise their eagerness cumulates as summer nears. However, we are never free to make choices in our lives, we are always limited by the minds of others and our education.</h2>

<pre><code>In society today, it is no clandestine that everyone wants to fit in, catch up with the latest trends, dress the way everyone is and listen to the popular music of the generation. We may not notice it but by succumbing to these trends just to please others, we are being limited by the minds of others. Many people do not wear baggy jeans today; instead, they wear skinny- jeans, as that is the trend even though baggy jeans may be slightly more comfortable than skinny- jeans. For instance, I’ve always loved classical music, the eloquent music always appeases me. Once, I’ve announced my love for classical music and to my dismay, various people derided my taste. Since then, I’ve put my like for classical music in a box and pushed it to the side of my brain as pop, rock music that is the subject of various conversations began to occupy my brain while the classical music box collected dust. It may be hard to admit but we are always trying to please someone, whether it’s your friend, parents or teachers. We change our habits, taste just so these people we are trying so hard to appease will extol us. Changing yourself just to be accepted and extolled is a relished that limits our choices largely.
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<pre><code>Education is another great factor that limits our choices. Since we were adolescents, we’ve learned that drugs are bad and alcohol is something we should abhor. From that moment, it is as if we were brainwashed into accepting drugs and alcohol as something we should never take and drink. We’ve lost our freedom to choose in school; we did not choose what morals are right and wrong, our education insisted on the right morals and encoded it in our brains. The ugly truth is, education tries to transform you into what society thinks of a righteous person.
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<pre><code>It’s everyone’s dream to be able to choose our own decisions in life, yet that freedom is a chimera. The minds of others and our education are always keeping us on a tight leash so that we cannot venture far enough to make our own choices.
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<p>Please give me a grade from 0-12 and explain why! Thank you!</p>

<p>6/12</p>

<p>Positives are that the examples are good (although need more specifics) and address the assignment directly and the overall argument is a good one.</p>

<p>Negatives are too many big words, many used incorrectly. Much of the sentence structure is weak and the conclusion is too short. Need more transitions between sentences as well.</p>

<p>8/12 or 9/12. </p>

<p>Have better examples… Will increase your score…</p>