<p>Okay...I'm a little shy about this so please be kind.</p>
<p>I have a daughter that is a sophomore. She is plenty smart but she is spending an unbelievable amount of time trying to lie about attending and flunking a course.</p>
<p>I need her to prove her 'current grade' She indicates she can send me her online grades (which she has said are NOT up-to-date)...She needs to prove her grades so I know she can keep her scholarship for next year...and because she wants to join a sorority.</p>
<p>What can I ask for that will really tell me her current grade? How do I help her realize that she can't turn this grade around without going to class (I am VERY afraid she is going to lose her scholarship due to 1 EASY computer class).</p>
<p>How do you know she cannot get high grade w/o going to class? Most computer classes of low level are project oriented and don't really require more than completion of the project. What good is proof of any grade befor the final project/exam anyway? You want to know something in the future and that isn't possible. If she loses her scholarship she must get loans/drop the sorority. That is rather on her now isn't it?</p>
<p>I don't blame you for wanting to know the grades before you agree to a sorority or figure out the finances for next year. If the online grades are not current, she should authorize you to hear from the teacher about her current grade, or she can get you a midterm transcript (informal or formal). Does she say the online grade is higher or lower than her "real" grade?</p>
<p>My darling D is saying it is a B . She knows she has to have the grade but she seems to be very distracted by the 'sorority' bid...and seems unwilling to show me a real grade...just wants to show me the online scrape that she edits. Is midterm transcript a common term?</p>
<p>It isn't her only chance at college -- it may just be her only chance at continuing at this college.</p>
<p>At what point do you plan on letting go? What if she chooses a loser to marry? Gets pregnant and quits a great job? Defaults on student loans? Chickens out on the interview for a great job? Doesn't get the application done on time for a critical internship? Drives drunk? Runs up huge credit cards?</p>
<p>At some point, she is going to have to accept the consequences of her actions and the longer it takes for that to happen, the harsher the consequences.</p>
<p>Personally, I would ask her to explain to me the consequences of a poor GPA to make sure that she understands and then I would let it go.</p>
<p>Kids. You tell 'em there is a brick wall coming up--right in front of them--and then---WHAM! They hit it anyway.</p>
<p>Not much a parent can do except wait for the boat to start tipping over. Afterwards you can see if you can help right that dang tippy thing (which wouldn't have tipped if the kid had listened to you in the first place. Grrrrr hahaha).</p>
<p>In the meantime, you could take solace in thoughts such as: "Friction polishes the gem." "It will all work out for the best."</p>
<p>There is an outside chance that she's got the gade covered. I fshe does--you must remind yourself o fthat the next time yout hink you see a brick wall in f ront of her!</p>
<p>As far as I know, midterm grades are not reported on transcripts. They are used for advising purposes only. If a student is in danger of flunking, the dean or someone in an equivalent position will have a chat with the student (at least this is what would happen at colleges with good support structures). I think the scholarship will depend on how well your daughter does in the course as a whole. So if her current grade is not very good, she still has a chance to turn it around.
What you can do right now is to remind her that her scholarship hinges on maintaining her GPA and that she has can only continue at this college if she keeps the scholarship, so you hope she does everything she can to keep her grades up. Other than that, there is not much you can do.</p>
<p>I would recommend that your daughter investigate/inform herself of any GPA requirements for the scholarship renewal. What is the policy if this isn't met, does she have a period of probation? These should be facts easy to determine and that is forewarned in my mind. Know theyself as they say. Maybe you are all stressed for little justifiable reason.</p>
<p>kiddosmom, Did you know that your daughter can opt in for you to see her mid-term and end of semester grades? We asked our kids to sign the required form and we see those sets of grades for each class. I'm not sure if it can be done at any time of the year or just at the beginning.</p>
<p>kiddosmom--I used to have to hover over my S#2 in HS to make sure he did the work and got the grades so he had some good college choices. Now that he is in college and not living at home, he knows he is on his own to maintain that GPA and the scholarship at the school which he really loves. If he loses it, he knows he'll come home and go to Very Good State U. Which is not what he wants.</p>
<p>As far as the sorority, you can check somewhere (I am not sure where) to see what their avg. GPA is compared to the rest of the sororities at the school. Some of them seem to be helpful, gradewise, and some are more social and a drain on your time/energy. Your daughter might want to reassure you that this sorority will help her keep her grades up, not hinder her. ;)</p>
<p>I assume your D knows that if she looses her scholarship she will have to withdraw from the college she is attending and that sorority bid will be meaningless.</p>
<p>The real concern in my mind is the lack of trust between mom and daughter. Do you have any evidence that what you state in para 2 is accurate? And what about the other courses; will they compensate for a C or worse? Has she told you that she is not attending class?</p>
<p>I say trust your daughter but express your disappointment that she is not attending this class(if she told you this), and remind her that you cannot afford to pay the tuition bill nest fall if she looses her scholarship.</p>