<p>Lafalum, I agree that the OP did ask two different questions - one in the nature of the EC’s effect on the person, the other on the effect on college admissions. I think it is perfectly rational to choose to pursue a passion even if it means a dip in grades. If he wants to be the floor rep because of the people skills it will develop, great. If he wants to do it because it will look good on a college app, not worth it.</p>
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<p>I hate the threads where kids or parents explain why they got in! With three kids I only got one real glimmer of why they did or did not get into the schools they applied to when my youngest was asked by admissions if they could share his essay with a journalist. I had loved the essay, but when it’s your kid you never honestly know if your perspective is anything close to accurate.</p>
<p>We had a similar approach to EC’s as Thumper, with one additional twist: you can change your EC any time you want but if you do, you have to stick with the new EC for a year. So many kids flit from EC to EC without making any commitment and at some point, to do something really well, everything that’s new and fun—be it ballet, soccer, gymnastics, fencing epee, whatever—becomes work.</p>
<p>As it turns out, D stuck with ballet from age 5 to 18 and, as near as I can tell, never seriously thought about anything else. There was a rough patch where she learned that sometimes the Casting Fairy could be unkind at times as well as being kind at other times…and that was a good Life Lesson worth learning right there.</p>
<p>Side note on Dance and life lessons: ballet is funny: you have to do well as an individual to earn a part but you have to work well as an ensemble for the performance to look good to the audience. Another great Life Lesson, one that D had absorbed by the time she was, oh, eight or so.</p>
<p>Once we had a new student whose background was competitive Irish dancing come to the ballet studio. She could have made the transition but her overly competitive mother didn’t.</p>
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<p>I like that. We have the same rule for anything that (1) we’re paying for or (2) involves a commitment to others, such as being floor leader. It has worked out well.</p>
<p>Menloparkmom-- the NYT – big eye opener; Alumni relations way more heavily weighted than ECs. ECs almost meant nothing!</p>
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<p>As if we knew at the top super selective schools…</p>
<p>But for many of the schools that any high end kid gets into, it’s high GPA, college prep curriculum and great test scores.</p>
<p>livessinnewjersey, I think you read the chart backwards. 1 = very important, 4 = not considered. A quick glance through the chart and I didn’t see any schools that rated EC’s below Alumni relations, and very few that rated them as equal. Most of them considered EC’s as more important than legacies.</p>
<p>OP, the challenge you may want to put to your S is to keep his grades up–or improve them–senior year. Each kid matures at a different rate and boys can be slow to embrace organization (heh–I’ve got two like this and the war stories that go with them).</p>
<p>Anyway, it’s great your S wants to take on this new leadership challenge. He will grow and learn and who knows what doors open for our kids when they try new things? But… grades DO matter, as all above have advised. It’s time for him to “get” that he’s responsible for keeping his grades up, even when a lot is happening. The acceptance of such responsibility is so important for a successful college life and while you have him in high school one more year, you can still coach and guide him (and even reward him?)</p>
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<p>Ah, yes, because Disabled people should be pitied and rarely have friends… and we exist solely to help people’s applicants…</p>
<p>That’s a tad offensive.</p>
<p>To answer the OP’s question, the answer, unfortunately, would probably be “both.” At highly selective schools, grades and tests are often “gatekeepers” and ECs, essays, and recs are tipping factors.</p>
<p>^^^As the story is related, the letter of rec was written by the disabled boy’s parents. Evidently they thought the applicant’s friendship was notable.</p>
<p>Thanks for correction Lafalum! I was dumbfounded by my misinterpetation. LOL–Could you image if ECs meant nada-- the whole second tier economy of kids actvitives would crash!</p>
<p>Thanks again!</p>
<p>^^^ No problem.</p>
<p>Midmo:'At highly selective schools, grades and tests are often “gatekeepers” and ECs, essays, and recs are tipping factors."</p>
<p>That quote should be on the wall of CC Chestnuts of truth. Hours of debate summed up in a single, accurate sentence.</p>
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Anyway, it’s great your S wants to take on this new leadership challenge. He will grow and learn and who knows what doors open for our kids when they try new things? But… grades DO matter, as all above have advised. It’s time for him to “get” that he’s responsible for keeping his grades up, even when a lot is happening. The acceptance of such responsibility is so important for a successful college life and while you have him in high school one more year, you can still coach and guide him (and even reward him?)
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<p>Thank you for your encouragement.</p>
<p>I don’t want to leave any doubt: He’s a responsible kid who cares very much about his grades and works very hard. Fortunately he views good grades as their own reward, so I don’t feel the need to impose a separate reward system on top of that. This is not a question of motivation in the least.</p>
<p>The problem, if I must oversimplify and put it very succinctly, is that he is a very bad time manager. But his status as a very bad time manager is a big step up from his former status as an utterly, abysmally horrible time manager, incapable of any organization whatsoever. His entire scholastic experience until about two years ago was a living hell of procrastination, distraction, misdirection, misplacement, misinformation, and miscommunication. You have no idea. (Trust me, please. I am not kidding. You really, honestly have no idea.)</p>
<p>Hence my attitude that his grades are fine as they are, and my acceptance of the fact that his grades will almost certainly decline a bit as he takes on more ECs. If he had no ECs and just studied all day, his grades would be no better than they are now, due to his other issues. But he tries very hard and has blossomed from an introverted, borderline-autistic child into a happy, active, and hardworking young man.</p>
<p>Just wanted to give some perspective on why I have no interest in pushing him to get better grades anymore.</p>
<p>His taking on additional responsibilities my actually help him focus. </p>
<p>It’s empty time that is the distraction. In my case, during spring of my sr year, I deliberately took all my classes on Tue/Thur so that I would have all day Mon/Wed/Fri/Sat/Sun to work on my sr. project. I never got less done! There was always another opprotunity to do the assignments or study for that test. </p>
<p>So maybe taking on the dorm kids will surprise you and he’ll improve his grades.</p>
<p>You may be able to tell that I’m going out of my way not to expect that to happen. But I secretly hope that it does! Again, thanks for the encouragement.</p>
<p>It depends where you going and major. In pre-med and future Med. School applications both are extremely important. They are expected to be the highest possible (the closer to 4.0 the better) with meaningful ECs. In terms of future employment after UG without Grad school, GPA is very important also. I was asked my GPA on interview after having over 25 years of experience in industry. Having low GPA is definately limits life’s choices no matter how you cut it and having good ECs might make huge difference in some fields of study also. Just drop them, parties, if cannot handle.</p>
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<p>That’s unusual. For what job does your GPA 25 years ago matter?</p>
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<p>I find it disturbing that so many people say this. So, if my job performance isn’t perfect, should I stop spending time with my family? Should the President stop attending state dinners until he has achieved world peace? Should any baseball player who is batting less than .400 not be allowed to leave the ballpark after the game, so that they can practice some more?</p>
<p>Kids, like all human beings, need an occasional outlet, to have fun. I feel sorry for the children of parents who believe that you should drop all activities outside of school unless your grades are stellar.</p>
<p>IT job. Job position did not matter, it is my company policy, normal interview question. More so, I told them that I can only questimate, since I do not remember any more. However, I remembered that I graduated Magna Cum Laude. I got that job that happened to be the best out of my 9 jobs.</p>
<p>“So, if my job performance isn’t perfect, should I stop spending time with my family?”</p>
<p>I do not understand that. You spend 8 hours at work, what it has to do with family? You leave the office, leaving all job related staff behind, and free to do whatever, you can drink for 8 hours or more if it is not enough. I though we were discussing college students some of which by their own admission got distracted from their academics and other important activities.</p>