Grads from my elite HS seem to be crashing and burning

<p>My HS has ranked #1 in the western region of the U.S. the past couple years, #2 or #3 before that. The school prides itself that 100% of their grads go to college. The senior class is small, around 50 kids. About 1/3 go to the Ivies or equivalent. At least 10 of the 40-50 kids from last year's senior class (who I'm in touch with it) have dropped out of their colleges and are going to community college or not going to school at all. One "lost her financial aid" (she wasn't more specific than that, but she likes to drink so I wouldn't be surprised if her GPA caused her to lose her fin aid), another I think found it too hard to be away from mommy and daddy, another had family problems and a suicide attempt. </p>

<p>We have a new guidance counselor this year who is terrible. A girl in my class has excellent grades and could likely get into a great school with aid, but she's under the impression she can't go to college unless her parents have 40k per year to fork over, and the guidance counselor is not helping her at all. She has decided she can't even afford to go to the state U, so is planning to go to community college. </p>

<p>Some of the schools I applied to want a transcript of the first semester. The semester ended before the holidays, grades had to be turned in by Jan 3 (or something) and the office lady cannot get it together enough to get the transcripts to the schools until "about mid February" What is so tough about printing it out and sticking it in an envelope? </p>

<p>Argh! </p>

<p>I wonder if my school will be surprised when it loses its fancy ranking. </p>

<p>bleah.</p>

<p>Wow that's awful, umm I don't really have any advice.</p>

<p>Well, no offense, but a lot of times, rich children get a lot of handholding from mommy/daddy, teachers and counselors. So they get out to where it's all about themselves, and lack the drive.</p>

<p>As for your office lady, get angry, yell, and be a prick. Sorry, but sometimes, you gotta be angry. Otherwise, things get messed up. Keep in mind, it's high school. Your never returning, unless you become a HS teacher.</p>

<p>The above poster was harsh, but....</p>

<p>It doesn't have to do so much with being rich...but it does have to do with the fact that kids at these high performing schools probably aren't that self-motivated. A lot of them want their parents to be happy, want to succeed only to get into a great college, etc. This year I kind of had the same problem. I got a point where I wondered what it was all for...all the hard work...the late nights...I wondered if any of that even mattered. And I think that is more common to kids who are used to putting 120% into everything. Suddenly it strikes you that people put 80%, or 50%, and you wonder what the difference is besides the name on your diploma. Also, high standards for academics = high stress = greater potential for depression during the AP class/college app crunch that is senior year.</p>

<p>Also my school is a high-ranked public. What happens is schools at the top, a lot of them get complacent. They say, oh, we made it, and stop doing the innovative things that got them to where they are.</p>

<p>Number 1 school in the West? Harvard-Westlake, Thatcher, Cate,,,all have bigger classes. What schools are you talking about?</p>

<p>I'm only harsh cause I used to get good grades for parents, etc. I never did it for myself. I'm just glad I checked my messed up priorities for focusing on doing things for myself before I got to college.</p>

<p>Awww.... boo friggin hoo. You poor little private school with loads of money. It is only going to be ranked 4th or 5th now.
Stop complaining. I graduated from the DC Public School System, the worst in the nation, and am currently going to one of the nations federal service academies. Life isn't about school, its about having fun, so don't focus on your friggin academics, it doesn't help you in the real world. Play a sport, have fun, be forced to go outside in the middle of the winter due to a bomb threat. Experiance life, not the sheltered, white upper-class society that you have seem to have from this post, where people who have no problems try to commit suicide.
Feeling bad for you is like feeling bad for those rich people on TV who have problems, how about they try to get into college when their father and brother are in prison for life and you go to a school that recently had a shooting and the the drugs you look out for is cocaine, because the teachers are smoking pot with the students in the school hallways.</p>

<p>^</p>

<p>...Life /isn't/ all about having fun. It's definitely about enjoying yourself, and appreciating nature, and great relationships...and it is also about making a difference. Education can help a person make a difference. Taking academics seriously is NOT a flaw.</p>

<p>People commit suicide because they are clinically depressed. They are no "less" depressed than somebody who is poorer who tries to commit suicide is depressed. It's disgusting you would belittle that.</p>

<p>Everyone has problems. Sometimes rich kids have MORE problems than poor kids. I am sure plenty of rich kids are living a worse life than you. Socioeconomic status is not a measure of quality of experience. Stop making generalizations about people - on the same token I could say all poor people are uncultured, uncivilized, uneducated, worthless and disposable, of no benefit to society. </p>

<p>Oh, but that would be wrong, wouldn't it? </p>

<p>Good job making yourself seem so hardcore. Your experience seems pretty normal to me. I guess it might surprise you that in my suburb, teachers also smoke and deal pot with/to students (one was recently arrested for that at an area school...another for sexually molesting a student). Kids have died of alcohol poisoning, drug overdose, and have committed suicide. Some people's parents are abusive, or in prison. And this is one of the BEST public schools in the Washington-DC metro.</p>

<p>**** happens in life. To everyone. Everywhere. </p>

<p>People only talk like you do because they are jealous, ignorant, or both.</p>

<p>And now that all that is said and done: many hardworking, loving, working-class parents scrape together all of their earnings to pay their kid's tuition at a private school, barely getting by. They hope for a better education, more programs for gifted students, less interference from kids who are more concerned with how hardcore they are and how tough their life is than academics. These families are not always rich or white. They spend a fortune and demand excellence from these schools, so it is of course well within their right to complain when things to do not live up to their standards, especially when they are stretching so thin to meet the financial burdens. It is not being "whiny". It is getting what you paid for, what your child deserves.</p>

<p>Who says taking academics seriously is a flaw? I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't, I'm just trying to make a point that being slightly less elite doesn't matter, and that more important things should go into a process than a 4.0 GPA, like extracurriculars, leadership, honor and other aspects of ones character. Academics is only 1/4 of the requirements for a Rhodes Scholar.
And in my personal opinion, depression is an excuse people have for not doing well and feeling sorry for themselves. I was once told I had depression and needed some sort of medication and I laughed at the doctor, it is like giving Ritalin to a kid who can't sit through a boring lecture. And as a child, rich kids do not have more problems, unless their parents make them work for what they get... there are always exceptions to the rule.
And as for your generalization, yeah, some poor people are like that, some aren't, just like there are some rich spoiled kids and some aren't. It seems to me that people who complain about stuff as said above aren't part of the latter group. And I'm not saying my experience isn't normal, I'm saying it should be the norm (save for maybe the cocaine part) and that some small rich gated school seems to take away from those experiences you and I love. You are right, **** does happen, what builds a persons character is how you deal with it. It's why I like Objectivism and Capitalism so much, it rewards that.
And yes, I may be a little jealous of the opportunities this guy has, and I may be ignorant as to what his exact situation is, but he should just stop complaining, people have it worse than him and as I have learned, complaining does nothing, if you can fix it, fix it, and if you can't, live with it, it builds character.</p>

<p>
[quote]
if you can fix it, fix it, and if you can't, live with it

[/quote]
</p>

<p>That's true, you're right about that :p.</p>

<p>But about suicide (I know this is OT, but it needs to be said) and depression, it really is an illness. Maybe you were not really suffering from a debilitating case of it. I think therapists/psychiatrists are often too quick prescribing medication. But it can be a real problem, a physiological response triggered by trauma, stress, even things that may not seem like a "big deal". Genetic predispositions run in families. It is not all "in people's heads" in the sense you think it is. In fact, some of the biggest tragedies occur because people see using medication as a crutch, or see the illness as a weakness in character, and refuse help. It's nothing like that at all...it's no different than the flu in that it is a physical problem. Feeling suicidal, wanting to commit suicide are in many cases uncontrollable impulses.</p>

<p>I hope that if you think a friend, family member, or you is in trouble you help them/yourself get help.</p>

<p>Money isn't everything you know...you could have $50mln under your belt but you could have lost both your parents to 9/11 or to a plane crash or any number of things. Or your parents might be alive and well, but they're so busy you have to make appointments with them a month and a half in advance just to SEE them. I'd say those kids are more miserable than slightly less privileged kids who have loving caring parents.....not that rich kids' parents aren't caring, but a lot of them are too busy to spend any time with their kids.</p>

<p>I remember seeing an article in some newspaper a while ago (no idea where, little chance of finding it now), about how psychologists were seeing increasing numbers of these high-achieving, upper-middle-class prep school kids, and how they seemed "empty". I think maybe they end up without any interests of their own, in the end, because for the past 8 years they have been listening to their parents and doing everything for their parents and their college applications. And when they finally get away from all that influence and pressure, they find out there's nothing else there in their lives.</p>

<p>I had a friend who was sort of like this...if you ask her what she wants to be, she will say, "my parents want me to be a doctor." If you specify that you want to know what she wants to be, not her parents, she will say, "well I wouldn't mind being a doctor, you get to to help people." Tried for years and never succeeded in actually getting an answer out of her that didn't involve what her parents wanted her to do. I don't think she ever actually developed any goals of her own. She didn't party so much to wreck her grades or anything (just her relationships), but she is overly dependent on her parents and I think she's going for the 'stay in school and avoid the real world as long as possible' approach.</p>