Graduating Early (Unique Case)

Applying to College
1

Hey guys! I am currently a high school freshman.
My Situation:
I got held back before because I studied in a foreign country for a year. My parents own a restaurant (I’m an American Born Chinese) and I’m constantly helping out in. I barely have any time for extracurriculars because of this, and I want to go to UChicago or Brown University. I’m in leadership, Key Club, Symphonic Band, Anti Bullying Committee and Environmental Impact Club.
My parents are authoritarian parents that demand obedience above ALL ELSE. I have OCD, Panic disorders, Depression, and PTSD, and they refuse to give me counseling services because it’s “a waste of time.” Whenever I stand up to their prejudice remarks on others, they get really mad. I keep getting tardies to class because the bell doesn’t dismiss me- my teachers do, and I take some time to ask questions after class because I can’t come in before or after school and teachers don’t respond to my emails. My school calls parents when there’s a tardy, etc. and my parents think I skip school even though I have never ever skipped school. Even though I’m taking accelerated classes, they don’t believe I will be able to go to college, and even say they’ll kick me out of the house when I’m 18. The thing is when I’m 18, I haven’t even started Senior year yet, and I don’t want to be homeless and a senior in high school stressing about college admissions. I’m thinking about graduating early, but I don’t know if I should. I’m told I’m waaayyy mature than my peers, but I don’t know. I want to go to a top college at a low cost (because my parents aren’t likely not going to pay for it) but I don’t know how.

I’ve already covered my foreign language requirements, and I’m taking Algebra 2, ELA 9, AP Human Geography, Leadership, Psychology, Child Development, Physics, and Symphonic Band. I’m not sure what I want to be, but things I’m interested in include:
Physics, Environmental Science, Public Policy, Economics, Political Science, English Literature and Composition, Education, Sociology, Psychology, and so much more!!!

Should I graduate early and if so, how can I make sure I have a chance in being admitted to a top college like Brown or UChicago, and if that’s reality, how can I afford it?

2

First off, is there a school counselor/psychologist at your school that can you can speak to? It’s most important to get help if you are feeling depressed.

That said, it’s too early to be worried about college and way too early to predict where you will have a chance of admission.

Graduating early is generally not a good idea but again, premature to consider.

Find support at school and get yourself to classes on time (go see teachers during lunch or tell your parents that you need to go in early).

3

First, don’t worry about ECs, you have enough, and you can list working in the family business, Have you actually been diagnosed with the disorders you listed, or are they simply what you believe you have? You do not need your parents’ permission to seek treatment - in many states you can seek mental health treatment without their consent as early as age 12. It might make things more difficult initially at home, but you can start by speaking to your counselor or social worker at school, and ask for a referral. You can report them to DCF for medical neglect if they are refusing treatment (or ask someone else to report them - almost anyone at school would be a mandatory reporter). This of course is likely to put a strain on your relationship with your parents, but might result is less pressure overall. If things are bad enough, you could be removed from the home, which could ultimately be to your advantage, in terms of qualifying as an independent student for financial aid purposes.

I would only try to graduate early if your school doesn’t have adequate courses to challenge you for four years. Otherwise you will be applying to colleges after 2 yours, and competing with other students with 3 years of high school classes, plus you will need to double up on any class that requires 4 years - like ELA. Instead focus on doing your best in 4 years of rigorous courses. That is what is necessary to either get into a top college, or to qualify for significant merit aid at many other colleges - which is what you’re going to need if your parents won’t help pay for college. As business owners, their income and assets are likely to result in a relatively high EFC, and little need-based aid.

4

For my panic disorder, I am diagnosed, and my parents called my school specifically to not get counseling from school- and my school counselor is trying to work something out with the vice principal because it’s an “ethical issue.” I’m thinking about taking online courses through a nearby community college, which is on a trimester. I am talking to my teachers, and thanks for the replies so far!

5

If I shouldn’t graduate early, how would I deal with the emotional pressure at my home and unsupportive environment?

6

Work with your counselors to get help with your issues. They are mandatory reporters for abuse and neglect, and they also have access to information about resources in your community. If your situation is truly grim, yes, they can help to have you removed from your home and moved to a safer place. However, I hope that they can help you work out better ways of coping with your parents. Many Chinese immigrant parents grew up with different notions of how best to raise children, and truly do believe that criticizing children is the best way to help children learn to work harder. Perhaps your parents can unlearn some of that.

As for those tardies, get a note from the teacher you are speaking with! That way when you do arrive to your next class a couple of minutes late, the other teacher will be able to remove the tardy note in the attendance report.

7

“Even though I’m taking accelerated classes, they don’t believe I will be able to go to college, and even say they’ll kick me out of the house when I’m 18.” Is that a statement that they certainly will, or that they may kick you out of the house if some other conditions do (or do not) come into play?

It is unfortunate and it must be terribly difficult for you to negotiate the space between your personal growth and your parents’ needs and demands. You seem to have an astute ally in your school counselor, nurture that relationship.

Perhaps you can also build enough trust with some of your teachers and help them to understand the necessity of responding to student emails (to your emails). Continued calls to your home, which result in heightened tensions with your parents, are more readily within your control if you can avoid having the calls attach.

I would warn against trading in one emotionally pressure-filled and unsupportive environment (home) for another. That could be a minefield.

Graduating early for someone who is, or will have, essentially repeated instruction due to a lack of language proficiency suggests you may be in a better position to transition to college life than other students who leave early, who are, in fact, a year younger than the conventional high school student.

Research your target college’s policies for admission of the high school student who lacks a HS diploma, as those colleges and universities do exist. (Note the earlier comment on preparing to be a competitive applicant among your peers - other early entrants to college.)

As I understand it, you will need to have exhausted the offerings of your high school to have your need for entering college early seriously and thoughtfully considered.

8

Brown University & the University of Chicago are almost polar opposites in terms of campus culture & academic demands.

9

You really need to talk to your Guidance Counselor to get some support. Talk to them about everything, and esp. how yuo email teachers for help but don’t get it…that you need help this way to

Also talk to your teachers and ask if they could check their emails for questions…that you get punished for being tardy and can’t get help after/before school.

In my experience, super controlling parents who say they will kick you out absolutely will not kick you out. They want to keep control over you. They use the threat to control you.
Imagine what would happen if you said “If you are going to throw me out, I will need to start saving money so the going rate for a waitress is $9/hr.” or if you said “I will let everyone know you kicked out your honor student daughter and won’t send her to college.”

Do know that helping out in a restaurant is an EC.

What I would suggest is to plan how to get out of their control. Act like they aren’t going to kick you out. Put that worry out of your mind. Try to reduce the tardies. Keep studying.
Look for college opportunities that have automatic scholarships:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships.html#latest