Graduation presents / protocols in your area?

Parents Forum
1

Just about a year ago, a family friend in Michigan was in a panic because she hadn’t yet ordered announcement cards for her soon-to-graduate daughter. Presumably, these are sent out to celebrate the graduating senior and let people know about their college choice … and possibly to act as a low-key “if you’d like to send a graduation present, that’s awesome; here’s our info” reminder. We would have no idea that this was a thing, as this wasn’t something that we did when we graduated high school (we just … graduated, and maybe went out to a nice meal somewhere; grandparents would give a gift ($50? $100?) towards college expenses). But sending out a photo of the graduating senior in cap and gown wasn’t on our radar.

Similarly, because we’ve felt pretty cut off from other families in our high school, so we aren’t sure if there are other standard practices around graduating from high school in 2022. We’ll ask our D to ask her friends for their expectations around graduation, but we’re curious …

If you have a graduating senior, are there customs or standard protocols that you’re planning to follow regarding gifts, special meals, announcement mailers, etc.? Are you expecting to give gifts to your kids’ friends? No doubt etiquette around this is different for lots of folks, but what does it look like for people in your area / at your HS?

2

I am also curious if there are any protocols.

3

My D graduated HS in '18. Gotta admit to being a bit surprised at all the hoopla some families engaged in and D was totally not into doing a big thing.

We had a small gathering for family and that was it. No announcements, no big party. D went camping with friends and to a couple of their parties later in the summer and we went on a nice family vacation as her graduation gift.

I didn’t feel pressured to send gifts every time I got an announcement unless it was a close family friend’s child.

D and her friends exchanged small things like framed photos but I didn’t get involved in that.

1 Like
4

When my oldest graduated high school, we had a gathering for family and friends. The announcement served as an invite to that event. My second graduated in 2020 so had a drive through graduation and no senior events. She was so dejected from everything being cancelled that she didn’t want announcements of any sort. We couldn’t have a gathering so we didn’t send anything out.

Through the years, we’ve received announcements from friends far and near. We view them as kind of like a holiday card - an update as to what is happening in their lives. When my oldest graduated college in 2021, we didn’t do a party. We sent announcements to the same people who had sent cards. One person sent a gift card and another sent a check. A few sent “congratulations on your graduation” cards. Most didn’t do anything.

5

I’m not sure if there’s a protocol here. I would guess most have a celebratory lunch/dinner with family since most people have family in the area.

For both of mine I sent announcements. I used Shutterfly like I do for Xmas. I sent it to most, but not all on the Christmas card list. Mostly elderly relatives, godparents, and a few friends/former neighbors. It was purely for an update - I am not on social media. It wasn’t to get gifts.

Older S we had a very small party with his x-GF. Both of our families are small. Younger S is very tight with a core group of friends. One of the moms threw a big party at their house for 4 of them. One mom made little cakes for each graduate decorated in their chosen school’s colors. And teachers from their elementary school days were also invited and many came. It was very sweet, but a lot more than I would have ever tackled!

6

We are planning to host a get together for D and her friends, will add on some family friends as well who know her since childhood. Will be gifting something sizeable to her school guidance counselor, not as a ritual but out of pure thankfulness.

I would love to know what other things are usually done.

7

This is what mine is planning as well. She’s 3D printing some personal keepsakes for her close friends at her IED class (thanks to her teacher). I told her to have a movie outing or some kind of lunch outing before they graduate.

8

We are having a graduation part for our son. Because we are close friends with many of his friends’ parents it will be a pretty big gathering. Just doing it in our backyard (but getting it catered).

9

Yes. We’re paying for college*. You’re welcome. Here’s a hug.

(Graduating from HS was our least expectation. No awards for jumping over a very low bar.)

*I know, I know, we didn’t have to pay for a service academy but the sentiment still stands.

2 Likes
10

Here the kids send out announcements with info on the ceremony and their reception (usually Shutterfly with some senior pics on it). And a Facebook invite to the party. Almost everyone has an open house party with food and pictures and awards etc. set up in a church, garage, or a rented space.

If DH and I are attending, we give a cash gift of varying amount depending on who it is. When the kids went around to their classmates, they didn’t give gifts unless it was a close friend.

My kids had maybe 125 guests come through their receptions and received about $2000 cash and other gifts.

11

We had a picnic for neighbors and kids and our friends but did it the first week of August right before the first kids departed for college. It was sort of a farewell party.

Our invitations clearly stated no gifts. We were there to wish the kids well. And have a nice picnic.

We also didn’t send out announcements for high school graduation, college graduation, masters graduations or professional school graduations. When those happened, they got a little mention in our December annual letter (which actually only got sent when these events happened…and sometimes via email).

1 Like
12

My son is very close to his HS guidance counselor. Would love ideas about what to gift.

13

We are thinking about giving an amazon GC or one of those kind

14

Daughter’s “graduation announcement” was combined with an invitation to the graduation night dinner and I sent out eight of them to only close family. The senior photos came out great, but they were insanely expensive, so purchasing the invitation/announcements was actually the cheapest way to get and share the photos. The graduation gift is that we are paying for college, for her dorm supplies, and for the graduation dinner at a restaurant.

15

Our kids were very close to one teacher at their school. We knew this guy got coffee on his way to work every single day…and we knew where. We gave a gift card to that place…it was given the day after graduation.

16

My son and a few of his friends are close to the CG . I told them to treat him to lunch as a group … but I was also thinking of a GC to a local place or a bottle of wine or similar from us.

17

I haven’t thought about a graduation gift. We are taking a post-graduation 1 week vacation (but I guess that is more for my benefit so maybe not a gift for him). I kind of feel like Choate Mom. We are paying for your expensive college education without you taking out loans so that should be enough.

Actually now that I think of it, I want to order Fatheads of our dog and cat for his dorm room (kind of vinyl wall thing) but that would be a joke gift.

18

Both kids got for high school graduation a nice dinner and a few practical gifts. For example, D got a matching office set of scissors, stapler, and tape holder. Sounds pretty bad now, but it’s a cute set, lol.

No money. I’m not super into gifts for all occasions and graduating from high school, in my opinion, isn’t the same as graduating college. Kids are supposed to get through high school, after all.

Both were able to host friends for a casual dinner (burritos or pizza) and pool party.

For college grad in 2020, no party of course. We gave her cash and a cute pair of earrings. My son will get equal cash and a tizzler. We had a drive by “celebration” which did not come close to replacing the real thing. I think it cheered D up, but it was a depressing and scary time. I will probably ask my son hen he graduates next year if he would like to have a party for his friends, and just let him do what he wants.

I did send grad photo cards, because all my sibs sent grad photo cards of their (older) kids. Hardly any of them sent money, lol.

19

We are going out to dinner before the evening graduation, and that’s it. No parties, no gifts, no announcements.

2 Likes
20

Parties are common at our high school. Many are co-hosted by several students, although some just by 1 or 2. Many of the parties include parents as guests (or at least parents who are close to the hosts), so multi-generational, although there were also just kid parties. Any legit party that included a real invitation and was hosted by parents and obviously had food, decorations, etc, we gave gifts. Pure kid parties that may have been more casual and less supervised, not so much. In most cases, we ended up giving some cash ($20-$150 depending on relationship, with $20 or $25 for casual friends, although I remember finding it confusing when there were like 5 kids co-hosting, only some of which were my kids’ friends, ugh). In some cases we chose gifts such as jewelry, etc, but really I think kids at that age love to have some cash and not mugs, etc ;-).

Announcements are not a thing where I live, and in my whole life I’ve only received 2, from cousins, and I found them weird and certainly assumed that it meant I was expected to send a gift (which I did), so that seems kind of icky to me (especially when one can mention the graduation in a holiday card). However, if it’s normal in your area to do that, I’m sure no one around there finds it icky! I also think parents are of course proud of their kids and happy to share their milestone, but if the graduation announcement mentions the upcoming university, it might come across as braggy….the recipient’s kids may not have gone to college, or gone to a less well-regarded university, etc, and it may come across as a braggy thing to do. Again, if this is expected in your area, no problem, but if not I think it can give the impression you are requesting a gift and/or want everyone to know how great your kid is ;-).

We gave gifts to GC and favorite teachers, after graduation, accompanied by really nice detailed letters written by our graduates.

I don’t think we gave our own kids a graduation gift, other than the party, but I wouldn’t be opposed to that! Fun to have reasons to celebrate. We did buy them stuff for their dorms and pay for college LOL. But really, why wouldn’t I have thought it was nice to give them a nice keepsake to remember this milestone? I think i was just too busy :joy:.

Such an exciting time!! Enjoy!!