“ very rarely ever give to panhandlers as I don’t want to encourage them” - Same here. Though once or twice I’ve pulled out a box of crackers from the groceries to handout. Cash never. Hmmm… not true. At Christmas time when I was an usher a fellow wandered into church asking for money toward bus fare. I knew it was probably a lie, but I did give him a $20 bill AFTER the end of the service when he’d had a chance to warm up.
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I recently bought a sandwich from the grab n go fridge and a bag of chips. The woman rang it up and offered a screen where she said I could add the tip. I found this surprising. And appalling!
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My beef is with hotels that upcharge on game weekends. Quality Inn’s that are $70 per night during a normal weekend, ratcheting up to $400++ per night for game weekends, and requiring a 2-night stay. It’s even worse for graduation weekends, which often stick you with a 3-night requirement. The Airbnb owners have no problem jumping on the bandwagon with increasing their rates for popular weekends. FWIW, I would have no problem with a modest increase for popular weekends, but what currently happens is just a flat-out greedy money grab - and people fall all over themselves to pay it.
Airbnb used to be a cheaper alternative than staying most hotels but obscene cleaning fees and “service charges” have changed that - especially for short stays.
I did tip extra during the shutdown at the restaurants where we got carryout. They (and the retail store employees) were unsung heroes of the pandemic (not to take anything away from the medical community, who were honored daily in every news cast). These people never had the opportunity to stay home and be safe, so I didn’t have a problem giving them extra.
A lot of the things got a “Covid upcharge” during the pandemic with the explanation that it costs more to “keep you safe” or supplies are down so the price goes up, but now that things have settled down, you would think that we could back off on some of these upcharges (does anyone really think that hotels and Airbnb’s are still cleaning to extreme standards?) You still can’t even get daily room cleaning at some hotels unless you specifically request it.
I mostly only tip hairdressers and restaurant servers. I gradually came to accept that the standard tip at restaurants went up to 20%. I didn’t abide by the advice to give cash for tips, though, as it’s much easier to just add it on to the credit card. Always took the tax off before figuring the tip.
I haven’t dined inside since March 2020, and still have no desire to do so. The thought of possible surcharges and other special charges disgusts me.
People with government jobs are not supposed to be tipped (in my city, anyway). Postal workers shouldn’t accept cash (and I don’t see exceptional service that would warrant it).
Why should people get tips for doing their jobs?
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I find the biggest problem with resort fees and hotel taxes (which can be state or local), is that it makes it hard to shop around carefully. Some sites will include them in the initial room cost and others won’t. So you think you have a bargain and then you click through and realize they were not including everything so it is actually more expensive than another site that was all-inclusive in their listing.
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During Covid my H got in the habit of tipping all food establishments when we picked up food. This summer I said “no more” and he agreed. I was at a cookie store the boardwalk in NJ. The girl put a cookie in a bag and turned the screen and said I could tip. Seriously?
I recently read an article on tipping and how out of control it is and how confused people are about it. My favorite was the Starbucks employee who was basically like “we deserve a generous tip”. The response from some “expert” was you deserve nothing, but if someone wants to tip on coffee they can ( he suggested 5% max) and if they don’t they shouldn’t feel guilty. And put an end to the high pressure tactics.
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Re: tips. I worked as a waitress back in the day when we got paid 50 cents per hour…but all tips we received…we kept. Now when I’m leave a tip at a restaurant, I understand that my server might not actually see much of that tip because the back of house folks also get some of the tip. And yes, I realize they are part of the reason my service was so good. But I do wish I could tip my server, and know they are getting the money…and especially when the service is really excellent.
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I recently was placing an on-line order for a product, not food delivery. Something that would be delivered by UPS or FedEx. Then I got to a page in the checkout process where a tip was requested! What?!? I promptly closed the page and ordered the same item from another vendor, even though it was slightly more expensive from the second vendor. I was stunned that a tip was requested in that type of situation.
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I did not think the back of house folks share tips, but the runners and the bussers do. I believe the cooks get a higher hourly wage so on slow nights do better than front of the house, but on busy nights do not. At least that way my son’s experience.
My nephews were saying that it has gotten cheaper to take taxis in NYC then ubers in many cases (surge pricing). I honestly don’t feel that intimidated to tip in situations where I don’t feel the need. Tipping someone who checks me out in a store? No. Tip the wait staff, yes.
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I have noted and been impressed (not sure if that’s the right word…) when I have been in a local spot - like a deli in our neighborhood - where the tip option is automatically part of the screen process - but the worker, after we have had a nice conversation - and they know I am a regular - will occasionally hit the “no tip” option on my behalf - sort of saying, “thank you for coming here regularly - you don’t have to tip each time”.
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NEVER give to panhandlers. We live within a mile of the state border. We were in a shopping center parking lot in our state and a young man came up to us and asked for $$ help getting home to his pregnant wife. We didn’t help. Later that day we were in an other store parking lot just over the state line and the SAME GUY came up to us with the SAME STORY! I reminded him it didn’t work earlier that day, and he got away from us FAST.
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We were at a bakery last summer that had a service fee, a covid fee, and an extra tip and no signage until you got to the register (and by then we had already been waiting in line for 30 minutes). Sorry but no, someone handing me a croissant, to go, doesn’t need a mandatory 20% tip! Needless to say we didn’t go back and H messaged them that they need to post their fees at the end of the line where they have their menu. All the fees doubled the cost.
There was also an op ed recently about moving away from a tipping model entirely as wages are increasing. One of our local fine dining restaurants is paying servers $65K/year with full benefits. I realize they are the outlier but I’m also in the camp that tipping has gotten way out of hand.
PS. Our local police routinely urges the public not to give money to panhandlers and advises different charities to donate to instead.
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This varies by establishment. My kid worked in a place where the back of house DID get a portion of the tips. This included not only the cooks, but also people like salad prep and dishwashers…all back of house.
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I think I stay at some nice resorts, but I don’t remember the last time I paid for a resort fee. I think it is probably more normal in HI or Las Vegas. I was in HI in 2020 and we didn’t pay for resort fee.
Many smaller resorts here in New England charge these resort fees. Honestly, I don’t mind paying them if I’m going to have time to actually use the extra amenities. But if I’m going to a wedding weekend with a bunch of planned events, I just don’t have time. And usually there are other options.
I definitely will go back to the B and B we stayed in last summer. Unlikely I would ever return to the “resort” anyway. That B and B was a great find!
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We noticed just the other day, at one of the restaurants we go to fairly regularly, that they are charging a service fee for paying with a credit card (there is no notice, it’s in the small print when you get your bill). We mentioned it to our waitress, who we are familiar with since she waits on us every time we’re there. She said it was a recent policy change and even if we paid with cash, they take the fee out of her pay or tips (can’t recall which one). If indeed true, this has to be illegal or violation of employment law! She told us that she just started a job at another restaurant, which she will eventually transition over to and leave this job. I won’t be back - the service charge is bad enough (and sneaking it in with small print on the receipt) but taking the money from the employees is unacceptable!
We also had a long-standing popular local restaurant close for good because the owners were up-charging for everything, allegedly due to Covid, and customers just got tired of it and stopped going. It was hotly debated on the neighborhood app and the owners even chimed in that they had no choice, but the charges were excessive when compared to other area restaurants.
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Not sure how panhandlers entered the conversation. I mentioned that it’s nice to have cash for those unexpected causes or people you’d like to donate to, such as Girl Scout cookies or the museum collection box. I don’t give panhandlers money either.
I think people just need to say enough is enough. I like what you did @momofboiler1 . We need to tell the managers we don’t like these nasty surprises, that tipping on an online order is ridiculous, and so on. We have to stop griping amongst ourselves, myself included, and send messages to business and corporations that we are sick of being gouged. We need to support businesses who are fair and transparent about these charges.
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We noticed that some restaurants charge more for items when you use online ordering than if you go in person.
We ordered online from a “upscale” burger place and noted prices had increased. When I went in to pick up the order, I saw that we had indeed paid as much as $3 more for some items!
I told the owner I thought this was unacceptable. We’ve never been back.
Isn’t that just basic supply and demand economics?
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Agreed- and for some, they might make their months on the day to day but their year on the football weekends or graduation weekends, etc.
As people pay, they seem to be ok. Or they shouldn’t.
For my son’s graduation, I’m staying 50 miles away vs. paying $400. But if I was the hotels/motels, I’d charge a huge premium too. It’s probably one time of 10/15 for the year they can and in some cases it might be where the bulk of profits come while the rest of the year (no idea - but for some this is true) - the rest might be a breakeven type thing.
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