Greek Life advice please!

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>Alright I'd like to just take a minute to explain my entire situation to you guys because I really need some guidance here and I don't know where to turn :&lt;/p>

<p>So I started college last fall and I came to college with several friends from high school. They weren't really drawn into greek life but I was so down for it. I was deciding between two asian fraternities (I'm asian), the first fraternity is very fun, they host a lot of parties, pretty big nationally, but I just wasn't connecting with any of them and did not picture myself as one of them. The second one is smaller, a statewide fraternity, with a bunch of cool laid back dudes. </p>

<p>I really felt like I connected with the second fraternity and they were inviting me in to every event during rush week. I was very certain I would get a bid, surprisingly, my friends were also getting into greek life and were rushing various frats and sororities. </p>

<p>However, I didn't get a bid and they never told me why and communication just stopped after rush week. Very dissapointing. </p>

<p>So my first semester started going downhill, my female friends got bids but decided not to rush first semester and actually became very good friends with the sororities. Now in spring semester, they are just about 100% sure they are pledging and my one male friend is also just about 100% certain he's pledging for the first fraternity I talked about.</p>

<p>The problem is, I wasn't invited to any rush events for the second fraternity this semester. The brothers all seemed a bit distant when I bumped into them at parties and I felt uncomfortable texting the brothers about rush events. They were definitely not welcoming this semester like they were first semester.</p>

<p>I don't know what I did wrong! Everything seemed fine last semester, I even got invited to do an interview which i got a good vibe from but after the interview they just stopped communicating with me.</p>

<p>My friends are telling me to just try for the first fraternity, which I cant see myself with. I really want to join the second fraternity even if they don't really see my potential. </p>

<p>So yeah that was a lengthy description, but basically my problem is should I try to ask them why they changed their minds about me this semester? I was thinking of just going up to them next fall before rush and just ask for a clean slate and start over but idk. </p>

<p>I really want to join the second frat, but they don't seem interested in me. The few friends I have all seem to be joining greek life and I, truthfully, don't want to be left behind. What should I do?</p>

2

<p>SO IN CASE THAT LAST POST WAS WAY TOO LONG:</p>

<p>I rushed the only fraternity I want to join last semester. I did not get a bid. I was not invited to rush events this semester, but they do not seem to dislike me. All my friends are joining greek life. Should I take advantage of the rest of rush week this semester? Should I just rush hard sophomore year? What do I do?</p>

3

<p>Are you interested in joining a more traditional IFC chapter? You mention you only rushed two specific multicultural chapters, but what about a more traditional chapter? If both of these chapters are not a good fit for you, you will have to look elsewhere</p>

<p>Simply put: fraternities don’t have to give you a bid and they will never tell you why they don’t. That information is secret. They may have liked you but only were able to take 10 guys and you were #11. If you have a reputation that follows you, they may not have liked that. If you came across socially awkward, that may have hurt you. We can’t give you that answer here.</p>

4

<p>Simple solution: Don’t join a fraternity. Seriously, I’ve never seen a bigger group of tools. How about make friends on your own, the old fashioned way. That way you know at least that you have real, true friends - not guys that just want you there for the parties and what not. </p>

<p>If there’s one thing I’ve learned in college so far, it’s to be yourself. Don’t care what others think of you. I have a very bad taste in my mouth from seeing frat groups and the guys in them at my school. Really, it seems to me to be simply an excuse to party and get drunk. How productive is that? </p>

<p>I’m going to get flamed for this, but after my roommates hosted a frat party at my house last night, and seeing the absolute tools there, I am even more adamantly against frats. Seriously, you don’t need to be in one. Join clubs where you don’t have to pay to have friends. Meet people you can get close with. Be yourself…</p>

5

<p>Dogbreath—Why come onto a thread where someone is obviously interested in joining Greek life and bash it? Trolling is so high school</p>

6

<p>soccergurl - Do I sound like I’m trolling to you? Did you even read my post? I guess I should also ask, do you even know what trolling is?</p>

<p>I’m not trying to get anyone angry here. Just trying to offer a different perspective on greek life.</p>

7

<p>You do sound like you’re trolling, but that’s just me. No point in coming on a post that is specifically asking for advice on rushing to say that you’ve never met a bigger group of tools, we pay for our friends, and we aren’t ourselves unless you want to **** people off. </p>

<p>BTW, none of those things are true. I found far truer, more meaningful friendships through my experiences with Greek life than I ever did as an independent. Also, if I paid for my friends, I surely didn’t pay enough!</p>

8

<p>@dogbreath - What’s wrong with making friends through a fraternity/sorority? You sound bitter and you seem to have some major misconceptions of Greek life in general. You also seem to have fallen for many of the stereotypes that accompany the word “Greek” - nothing but parties and rich white kids throwing away their parents’ money right? Wrong. I’ve met some pretty amazing and awesome people through my fraternity, and I am glad to call them my brothers. </p>

<p>Being in a fraternity or sorority is not all about drinking and partying. Sure, we like to have fun. What college kid doesn’t? But there’s more to Greek life than that. Brotherhood. Sisterhood. Philanthropy. Community service. Leadership. Personal growth. Development. Networking. Connections. It’s all that and more. If you think all we do is get drunk, then you’re wrong and close-minded.</p>

<p>And growing off of the whole “paying for friends” thing, how do you think fraternities & sororities are able to afford houses, social events, national dues, etc.?</p>