Hi! So a couple weeks ago my professor said we would be doing a group project and I already wasn’t excited about it but when she told us we had to find groups ourselves instead of her putting us into groups I panicked. I didn’t know anyone in the class so I just sat near some girls who looked nice and hoped they would let me in their group. Well when she told us to get into groups the girls turned to me and told me that if the professor would let us have one more person than she wanted then I could be in their group. I thought that the professor would let us (I guess I was being optimistic) but when we asked she said no. She told me I had to find another group but by this time everyone had already gotten into group so I stood up and looked around and I didn’t know what to do. The professor pointed out a group I could go to since they only had 3 people so I went. This group was all guys (I am a girl) I introduced myself and I was trying to stay positive but I was feeling awful about it. After I introduced myself they just started talking to each other and did not even try to include me in the discussion or even acknowledge my existence. We have had to meet 3 times in class to talk about the project and every time they do not talk to me or act like I am there. I beginning to get really worried and frustrated because I am going to have to meet outside of class with them to practice the presentation and I don’t feel comfortable because I am the only girl and because they don’t talk to me. I don’t want to tell the professor because then it will seem like I am trying to get them in trouble but I just want us to be able to make a good project and I can’t if they won’t talk to me. I also need to mention I am really shy and introverted so I haven’t tried to initiate any conversation but they are also talking the whole time so I don’t know how I would without interrupting. Any advice is appreciated thank you!!!
Don’t wait for them to talk to you. Talk to them or they won’t talk you you.
Every time I get into a group I get with people who don’t do their work. One time I saw on a google slides presentation that a lot of he slides weren’t done the day before the presentation and I started to do all the work they didn’t do for them because I thought they just left it. I SPENT 3 HOURS ON IT AND THEN THEY CAME AND STARTED EDITING. I got so mad at them.
OK.
BYE.
Yeah it is incredibly awkward doing a group project with people that you don’t seem to get along with, but this is a good learning experience for you because chances are it will probably happen again. I suggest you think of something to add to the project and then verbalize it during your next meeting. Is one of the guys more approachable than the others? If so maybe talking to him before class just like a heads up I think we should change something or whatever would be a good start. You have to keep talking or just even if someone suggests something then voice your opinion. Don’t just nod along, but actually say out loud what you think. I know it can be incredibly weird and uncomfortable but at least the class will be over soon and then you can move on. If you are worried about a grade then I say you could talk to your professor about it. Just email them or speak to them after class. Say you are worried because you are naturally shy and have difficulties expressing your thoughts with strangers.
If the group gave you a part of the project to do then you a damn good job! Also suggest you guys meet somewhere public like the library or student center to practice your presentation. Then at least other people will be around and it will be less intimidating. Good luck!
I suspect part of this is the difference in how men and women communicate in group settings. Since you are in a all male group you will need to change your style. That might not seem fair but since this is a short term project it will likely be the way to go. Speak up! Do not go along wiith to group just to be agreeable. If you disagee, be vocal and argue your point. By being quiet, they are probally assuming you agree or have nothing to add or worst that you are just dead weight. Harsh, I know but that is how people think at times. If you are quiet, you will get run over and ignored. Men usually are not as concerned about hurting feelings or making sure everyone feels included or are heard. The ones that are will be more sucessful in life but that understanding usually goes on later in life.
Ask your members and open-up the problem, then ask them if they are willing to cooperate.
With any issue like this, you first have to face it head on with the group first.
After the next class, say “What do you want me to work on”. And “Can I have your contact info so we can share info”. This is the basic of basic.
Do you have ideas? Would you feel better emailing them?
Go to the Professor during office hours and say that you would like some advice on working with this group…they are not including you and you would like tips on breaking into this friend group. S/he will ask you what you have tried first and you have at least needed to try talkign to them.
I’ve seen this kind of group project situation happen before while I was in college. For whatever reason, the group members already know each other and your the only one that doesn’t know them and then you don’t get included or they don’t even bother to communicate with you at all. A good group would try to include all the members. If you don’t feel comfortable, why don’t you go talk to the professor about your concerns and see what she says? Don’t be afraid to the talk to the professor, if anyone can help you it’s them. Also, try not to be so shy and just talk to them. Like ask them if theres anything you can do, or if you can all evenly split the work. If they still don’t bother to include you, you should ask the professor what you should do. But if at least if you do your part well it won’t be a big deal and you’ll be done with the project.