<p>I'm a junior, so there's still some time, but my parents have never been willing to share anything financially-related with me. They didn't even tell me that my grandparents made me a trust fund! Luckily I found out, or who knows what would've happened. I know they can't legally do anything to the money, but they could've omitted that small detail until after I resigned myself to a Cal State. I'm trying to make them understand that schools everywhere are pricey nowadays and that I honestly want to go East on my own will. My dad thinks my aunt who lives in MA is influencing me and thinks she should be contributing to my college expenses if she wants me out there so much. You'd think my parents didn't know I was going to college when I was born. Everyone else in the family, including them, has, so why wouldn't I? I will apply to a few UC's, and I know I could get a good education at some of them, BUT I DON'T WANT TO. I'll take your advice and go with things as they come. Hopefully it'll work itself out. I know in their hearts they probably want the best for me.
As for independence - they still try to control me in every way. Once I got my driver's license, I got more freedom, but only because I didn't tell them everything all the time. They still try to enforce a bedtime, and 10:30 at that!</p>
<p>They're just overly protective. I mean my parents never tried the bedtime thing with me, but once I got my license I was never allowed to drive without one of them in the car. I go to boarding school now (I'm a senior) and I totally appreciate my parents much more. Money is a big issue. I recommend SERIOUSLY sitting down for an hour or so and discussing it. No raised voices, no interruptions, just you and them.</p>
<p>You know the airplane scene in Anger Management? That's what it's like trying to have a calm discussion with my parents. "STOP RAISING YOUR VOICE AT ME!"
"Dad, I'm not raising my voice. I'm just trying to talk to you," "ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. MY WAY, NO MORE DISCUSSION!" It seems the more calm and controlled I am (or my brother is), the madder they get. Then, they get mad if we yell. I'll admit, they have gotten slightly better and may listen to me at some point, but it's almost impossible right now to get them to really listen to what I have to say. They have this control thing where they think I'm challenging their authority. I guess I'll wait for the most opportune moment before I try again. Maybe I'll have some luck.</p>
<p>maybe you should try writing them a letter...</p>
<p>If I need something from my mom (stepmom, but i don't call her that), a letter generally does the trick. Good idea, though....I didn't really think of that for this situation. Thanks!</p>