Hello,
I’m interested in hearing how and when you plan on thanking your child’s guidance counselor and LOR writers. My D’s counselor has been amazing, and I was thinking of $100 gift card to Target. Was thinking more along the lines of $25-$50 for her LOR teachers? Along with a handwritten thank you of course. They are private school teachers, and I’m sure don’t make much. Care to share your plans?
DD hand wrote long thank yous and bought Starbucks gift cards with her own money. I honestly don’t know how much she spent. I know she also wrote letters to close to a dozen teachers and administrators that really impacted her life.
I think we gave $20 or $25 gift cards. My son wrote a nice note and followed up during his 1st semester of college, letting them know he was doing well.
Our HS actually limits gifts to employees to $25 and we stuck to it. Got each a box of nice chocolate and kids wrote a thoughtful handwritten note (which was very much appreciated) to each.
Please check the gift limit at your kid’s school. At ours, anything over $25 needed to be approved by the board of education. If a staff member accepted a larger gift without approval, they could be subject to dismissal.
Our kids wrote nice thank you notes to the appropriate folks (in our case it was not the GC). We then got $15 gift cards to a coffee shop that also has other beverages…and donuts.
We gave nothing to anyone until after May 1…so that the kids could include their post HS plans in the note. Plus by that time, there couldn’t be any suspicion that we were trying to bribe the teachers into giving grades ?
After the teachers wrote the letters, my daughter hand wrote thank you cards and gave them each a candle, scarf and hand lotion from Madewell (with the receipt in case they wanted to exchange anything)–I think all 2 were about $45/each. For her school counselor, we got a $50 gift certificate to a great restaurant.
Boxes of Russian chocolates and sweets for us. Used them over the years for all kinds of gifts, always a hit.
Waited until end of year and decision was made. Didn’t want it to feel like there was anything expected from them in return. Gift certificates to local restaurants, museum/zoo memberships, a scarf – depending on the person.
Also let Head of School know how helpful the CC had been. That’s a position in which they are often criticized when the outcome isn’t what the parents wanted.
After my daughter had committed to her school she gave each a handwritten note and food indegenous to that region (decanter of maple syrup for a University of Vermont).
I agree it should be given once the process is complete. We also have a gift limit so couldn’t do a gift card, but wanted to give something they could use : )
Thank you - I had just added this to my to do list yesterday and was wondering if D should do it now or wait until her decision was made. I love the idea of something from that region! For the GC he and I have a little joke about our favorite (different) football teams so may get him something from the team he loves.
We gave our gifts at Christmas time/winter break once all the recs were done rather than waiting until the decisions were out. We were trying to say regardless of how it turns out, we appreciate the effort and everything they did. OP, that is pretty much the value of what we did at a private school.
Thanks. That’s when I’m planning on doing it, too. The majority of the counselor’s work is done, and the LOR teachers were from junior year, so no worry about influencing grades. Pretty sure there’s no gift giving limit at my D.s school.
I love these threads. It never even occurred to me that my S should give anyone anything (though he said he thanked his recommenders). And we have 2 more in the same school. Hope the teachers and GC doesn’t remember (though GC was useless)!
I sent a letter to the school board and the principal after S17 graduated extolling his GC. I mentioned that S17 was the 5th child I had go through the HS and never before had I felt compelled to praise a GC. I felt it was particularly important because the GC is an immigrant with a pronounced accent and some parents had complained that they couldn’t work with him because they couldn’t understand him and he had to be not smart enough for our district. He was terrific.
@havenoidea It’s never too late! Your son could send a holiday card with a handwritten note. Our counselor didn’t know my son very well (large school), but she did get all of his paperwork submitted on time. Since you have 2 more kids, I would do something. If it’s not common at your school, he/she will definitely remember the gesture, and it will only help your 2 younger ones 
@chercheur Good idea, thanks!
We didn’t give GC or LOR writers anything. I think my kids thanked the LOR writers in person. I don’t believe anyone in our school gave gifts.
We were at a large public school. They stressed it was important for the students to e-mail or write a thank you for the teachers that write LOR. Money was tight for us. D wrote a thank you letter and delivered a home made goodie which she delivered early December. (I baked Starbucks lemon loaves because D was still in the midst of honors applications and writing supplemental essays.)
She did have some teachers that had to write several letters due to Summer Program, National Merit and Honors Application. She gave them a thank you letters and gift card.
My D19 ordered Love Pop cards (which are fabulous, btw) and wrote a long personalized letter with each. She also gave gift cards. They were very appreciative of the gift cards, but were most enthralled with the unique cards. She chose an eagle design, to match her HS mascot. I bet they will hang on to these cards all year.
My younger son baked cookies. My older son picked up chocolate from places near the accepted colleges. They both wrote thank you notes which I think were really what was most appreciated. My younger son wrote what I considered an over-the-top thank you to his GC. I can’t remember what exactly he said, except something on the order of he was sure her recommendation must have been wonderful since he got into colleges he thought were very reachy. She called the house when he wasn’t home and she was all teary because she had never gotten such a nice letter. (She didn’t mention the cookies!)