Hey all. I’m applying to boarding schools for repeat grade 10. I currently attend a large public school in Indiana. My guidance counselor is refusing to write the required letter of recommendation for me for the Gateway app, claiming he is not allowed to. What should I do? My principal does not write letters of recommendation.
Out of curiosity, who does he he think is supposed to write it? Hopefully that was the question you asked (although not in that tone).
At some point, you might need to get your parent involved, but since someone needs to write it, the next point of contact is the Director of Guidance and further up the chain of command, as required.
@skieurope I have legit no clue. I asked him why and he said legal reasons. I wanted to ask what legal reasons stop him from writing a REC LETTER???
I’ll ask my dad how he thinks we should proceed. I don’t want to screw up a decent rec letter but like… I need one from somebody.
I am purely guessing but in prior posts you mention some mental health issues and an extremely difficult family situation. The counselor’s reluctance may be based on these circumstances or observations made that would prevent him from being supportive. Pure speculation but worth you having adult intervention.
Given your experience with severe anxiety you may want to consider just how stressful a school like Exeter or Andover is. I wish you well and am extremely impressed with your ambition, perseverance and maturity.
@Nocreativity1 Most of my anxiety doesn’t stem from school (I mean some does but ope). I’d like to think I can handle an environment like that. Thank you for the kind comment.
He told me he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to, which very heavily confused me. Like, who else would write the counselor rec?
^sorry for speculating and please know I am pulling for you!!
@Nocreativity1 Don’t worry lol you’re good!! I appreciate it.
Well, to be fair, none us us know the personnel structure at your school, so it may not be his responsibility, but it is someone’s. As an example, one school says"Ask for a recommendation from your current principal or guidance counselor and enter a contact email into Gateway." So the key is to find out who that someone is, which is why your dad may need to get involved to reduce the runaround. Good luck.
@skieurope He’s my only guidance counselor, nobody above him, nobody below, if that makes sense? I know he’s written letters of rec for college applicants but I don’t know how familiar he is with boarding schools. He is that one someone and he is saying he can’t do it because of “legality”.
^ Sorry if I come off as rude in any way, I’m just incredibly stressed out about this
I would go back to him tomorrow, tell him you’ve been thinking about this and ask him to explain what legal reason prevents him from doing this.
In our school, the person above the guidance counselor is the principal. I can’t understand why the GC is telling you this, assuming you (or your parents) are not in a lawsuit with the school. Perhaps a gentle next step would be to ask the GC who at the school will write it then. Not who “can” write it, but who will.
Nope; it makes no sense. Everybody in the American public educational system has a boss. It also does not make sense that the school has one GC for 2000 students. There may be just one GC assigned to you, and like in most HSs, you get no choice who it is, but if there are multiple GCs, then someone runs the office. If there really is only one GC, he still reports to someone. Again, I’m not suggesting that a teenager ask an adult “Well, then, who the hell is supposed to write this?” But I would have no qualms if I gave skidad that task if I were in your shoes.
You didn’t.
Ask him who at the school can write the recommendation.
Time to get your parents involved and take it to the next level.
As an aside, do your parent’s approve of your plan to apply to boarding schools? Is there any chance they have instructed your guidance counselor to not provide a LOR?
OP, let your Dad help you on this one. You’ve described having a lot to deal with in your life. We don’t know enough about your school, this GC, policy, or who else could write this letter. Best to you.
@happy1 My dad is all for me going to boarding school, he’s super excited about the opportunity.
I talked to my dad and he said he’s going to call my school about it.
Sounds great All the best.
@CavsFan2003 Do you and your GC have any direct or indirect relation aside from you asking him for a Rec? I know that some schools don’t assign a College Counselor until Junior year. Is this the case at your school? If so, he may just be a pure guidance counselor–meant to help you with your time in high school. Perhaps this is the reason for the hesitation? I know that’s how it was in my middle school, but I also know that she DID write recs like this so I guess that might make my whole statement kind of irrelevant.
@coppii I’m a little confused by what you’re asking, I guess, but I was assigned him the summer before sophomore year