Guide to Developing Good Relationships with Professors for Recomendation Letters

<p>There’s a lot of excellent info here on how to build relationships with profs in general, but does anyone have advice on how to go about the gritty details of getting them to write the rec. So assuming you’ve already gotten a top grade in their class, demonstrated exceptional and genuine interest in the field, gone to office hours a lot, participated in class, and so on…</p>

<ol>
<li><p>How do you go about actually “popping the question”?
1.a How do you ask for the rec if you had an excellent relationship but it’s been a semester or so since you last had a class or did research with that professor? </p></li>
<li><p>How likely is it that professors will be taken aback/insulted by your wanting to transfer (especially if you are trying to go from a decent school to an elite one)? Will they see it as status grubbing and/or betrayal of your school? In general, how enthusiastic is a professor going to be about helping one of his or her favorite students leave? </p></li>
<li><p>How do you tactfully give them pointers on what to put in the rec? Is it acceptable to ask to read the rec and then tell the recommender what to change to make your “case” stronger? I read in a law school application guide that you should ideally go out to lunch with the prof and explain why you want to transfer, what your broad goals are etc., and if possible get the professor to be “on your side” so that you and he/her are basically working together to get you in. Is that practical in real life?</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Input from people who have recently been through this process themselves would be especially appreciated.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>You make an appointment, bring the appropriate materials (form, website, deadlines, etc.) and just ask. If you feel comfortable, give some idea of your goals and why you think the transfer will further them. You can mention positives of where you want to transfer, and this can almost always be done without putting down your current school.<br>
1a. Not much different, you might want to bring along some additional materials (eg. excellent paper you wrote in the class) and volunteer it as a reminder if the prof wants it.</p></li>
<li><p>They don’t care, people transfer for a variety of reasons. In general, profs are professionals who will write you a LOR based on your performance, not extraneous factors. They will want to see their favorite student in a place where they are happy and will perform at their top potential.</p></li>
<li><p>You don’t give them input on what to write unless they ask. No, don’t ask them out to lunch, just make an appointment at their office. Profs are used to writing LORs for various reasons (transfer, jobs, internships, etc.), it’s not new to them, so unless they ask you for comments, don’t offer, that would be very overbearing and pretentious.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>

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<p>D transferred from a top public to top private a couple of years ago.</p>

<p>Thanks entomom. When I ask for an “appointment” do I tell him or her what it is about, or is email too impersonal for that?</p>

<p>Tom,
I’m not sure if you’re referring to using email to make the appointment or to ask for the LOR. I think that emailing to set up an appointment is fine, and that it’s OK to state that the purpose of the meeting is to request a LOR. But you should definitely sit down with the prof to discuss the LOR, and I think it’s to your advantage to be able to express your intent and give them any information they need to write you a great LOR.</p>

<p>I have another question regarding asking about recommendations. The TA who I have for one of my classes is not actually a TA but a professor who has been teaching for something like 17 years at my college. This year, the math department (for some reason) tried something different and instead put him in charge of the recitation sessions. Would it be okay if I asked him for the recommendation rather than the actual professor of the course, since my “TA” is not an actual professor. I think that I may be able to get a better rec from him than from the professor whose lecture has some 300 students. I will still most likely do my best to make sure the professor knows me and such, but there is more of a chance the “TA” will know me more, as the TA sessions meet more often and are much much smaller. Any advice?</p>

<p>@andrew</p>

<p>i used an internship coordinator instead of a professor for one of my two recommendations for NYU. it’s worth it to use a “TA” if they will write a great recommendation for you. the internship coordinator wrote an amazing letter, i only saw it after she sent it to all of my schools (she let me read it).</p>

<p>(transferred in 2008)</p>

<p>I used to be as worried as everyone. I’m still nervous- not of the fact that I might be transferring but if they look at me and they’re like “Why is he applying there?”.But I’ve realized that there’s no perfect way to ask. But its not a big deal. If the professor acts very defensive and hostile; you’re better off asking someone else- but I don’t think most will. They’ve been asked to write recommendations for hundreds even thousands of students, so I guess they would feel kind of over it by now.</p>

<p>andrew,
I agree with map, that you should get whoever you think knows you best and will write the best LOR for you, it doesn’t matter what their title is.</p>

<p>Thanks for this compiled list, only wish i had stumbled in this thread last year beginning my freshman year of college. Regrets, regrets. Any advice for a sophomore student needing letters of recommendations yet not having “kept in touch” with any of my teachers?</p>

<p>^Same problem. I wish I would have had a better relationship with my physiology professor because he would’ve been perfect for a LOR. He probably remembers me but I didn’t raise my hand much or go to office hours enough.</p>

<p>Your faculty advisor is often a good person to hit up for a reference. Since your advisor expects you to meet periodically with him or her, take advantage of this opportunity from the first week you arrive on campus freshman year. Commonly, once you choose a major, you will say goodbye to your frosh advisor and get a new one in your major field. However, that’s no reason to sever ties with your initial advisor, if you felt that you had a decent relationship. Even if you have no plans to transfer, this is one prof who may know you fairly well … if you’ve made an effort. Down the road, if you do decide to transfer, you can ask this advisor to write a reference. (Comes in handy for grad school or job references, too.) </p>

<p>Note, however, that sometimes faculty members can be personally affronted when a student wants to go to another school. So be sure to have several compelling reasons at the ready to explain why you’re making your move, and present them diplomatically.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Okay you sound like that person everyone hates in their class. If it gets you where you’re going, fine, but seriously nothing irks all of us more (here at my school) than when there is that one student who basically has a conversation with the professor the whole class or asks a question every 5 seconds. Like I said if that gets you where you are going fine but there are plenty of ways to do this so that the rest of your peers do not hate you… I like to leave those kinds of conversations for after class (when they walk back to their office hours you can walk with them)… I also think it’s really awkward that you get them gifts. I like to get a normal bar of chocolate as a thank you AFTER they finish their rec letter (or… when I give them the envelopes to mail, ie as an incentive for them to mail them on time) but never just because I feel like it or the kind of expensive gifts you say you’ve given… The only exception I can think of is that I will get that kind of gift for my ADVISOR who has been with me for 10 semesters…</p></li>
<li><p>taut means to brag about or flaunt but I can’t seem to find the real spelling if that is the wrong spelling, or verify that it is the right spelling…</p></li>
</ol>

<p>The poster for post # 10 made in 2007 May meant to use the word “tout” instead of “taut”, I think.</p>

<p>Step 10) Casually let slip that you know where they live</p>

<p>Sounds like sucking up to me…
But that’s just me.</p>

<p>Yeah. I disagree with like half of the things stated on here. </p>

<p>Just show up to class. Participate. Engage in the discussions. Do well in the course. If you have difficulty then see the professor in the office hours but to discuss the work not to BS around. The rest will fall into place.</p>

<p>I would set an appointment up though once you ask for the letter of recommendation. This way you can tell him/her a little bit more about yourself and just have a discussion about where you’re headed. After this, I’m positive they can handle writing a recommendation for you.</p>

<p>i aree with abve. politely participate, be respectful, and do not be pushy or aggressive. rule o thumb – if your behavior is disturbingly similar to the behavior of a villain from a sexual harassment public service announcement, back off.</p>

<p>^ LOL</p>

<p>for me, i did most of what other people said and also went to introduce myself during the first week or 2 of classes so that from then on i could say hello and it wouldn’t be weird. i went to office hours once or twice to chat and to let them know the things i was doing and to get to know me a bit. when it came time for recs, they were able to remember what we spoke about and i brought them a resume, a copy of my essays (so they could know why i wanted to leave, etc), and asked if they needed anything else.</p>

<p>Does anybody even seem to know what professors write in their letters of recommendation, and how long they usually are?
I obviously have some professors that I have had for two classes, but then there are the ones that I’ve only had for one class, but I’ve tried to talk to them more often.
Even if you give them your resume and they know your work, it’s always frustrating to figure out what they might write about you as a student and a person on something so important XD</p>

<p>@Zester</p>

<p>Hopefully they’re honest. The best recommendations are the ones that show growth.</p>