guy/girl friendship question....

<p>How sensitive are girls about their "friendship" relationships with guys?</p>

<p>The reason I ask is I have a friend who is cool, and she is fun to chill with, but I'm far from being attracted to her in a physical way. Also, and this is somewhat detailed, sorry. Another part of her and my relationship is we met through mutual friends (well she was friends with one of my friend's girlfriends), and she had a one night stand with one of the guys I sometimes hang out with, but ever since the one night stand they don't even acknowledge eachothers' existence. In fact, none of the other guys who had met her before I did, even care to talk to her again. Now in guy relationships, this girl has become--let's see--less than a prize within that group of buddies, because one of the buddies has had his way with her, and it didn't require much of him to get it. </p>

<p>Ok, so now her and I hang out on occasion and have been to concerts, etc. and our relationship is a cool guy/girl friends thing. However, I still feel somewhat embarrassed to admit it to my buddies, because they have all written her off for obvious reasons. My intentions, however, are not to have anything more than just a cool friend with her, and I have been hoping she thinks the same... but, recently she has been trying to get me alone, it seems, and she has been somewhat tossing hints around that she would like to be more than friends... but, I'm really not interested, really. Because of this, I wrote her an email about how I feel, and how I had found out about her one night stand with one of my "less than respectable" (he's a woman user) buddies, and because of this...I wouldn't allow myself to be anything except friends. Well, to make a long story short, she has seemingly cut off all communication with me, and I think she's giving me the silent treatment.</p>

<p>Is this normal? Ladies, what do you do in situations like this? What should I do to try and rekindle the cool friendship stuff? Is it over?</p>

<p>Heh...she probably took your email as, "I think you're a slut, and I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole."</p>

<p>Hopefully that wasn't what you intended to say...at all...but it's pretty likely that she took it that way.</p>

<p>I agree with katho. -_-;</p>

<p>yeah, girls tend to overreact when you criticize something that they've done in any way...even if you're trying to be nice about it.</p>

<p>Yeah...I remember once when my best guy friend was being all crude and boy-like. I made a passing comment like, "I bet you wouldn't say that to Hannah," and he flat out said, "No, I wouldn't...it's Hannah...that would be disrespectful."</p>

<p>I got sooo mad at him! </p>

<p>He couldn't figure out why until I told him that the way it came out it sounded like he thought it was fine to disrespect me because I wasn't as good as her or something. </p>

<p>It turned out that he just meant that she would be offended by that kind of joke and I was cool enough to realize he was kidding. </p>

<p>I was still irritated at him, but boys are dumb and girls are crazy. What can you do?</p>

<p>
[quote]
"I think you're a slut, and I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole."

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Well, then she did get at least 50% of what I was trying to say... (I'm absolutely, positively unattracted to her) dangit... I can see now how rude it was, but my intention was to create a "friendship line" so there was never confusion... I just went about it the wrong way... oh well, maybe time will heal it all, who knows.</p>

<p>So, your friends have a problem with the girl because she's "too easy," but they have less of a problem with their guy friend who had sex with her on this one-night stand?</p>

<p>Es verdad.</p>

<p>My best guy friend makes a lot of crude jokes with me that he would never dare do with other girls.</p>

<p>
[quote]
So, your friends have a problem with the girl because she's "too easy," but they have less of a problem with their guy friend who had sex with her on this one-night stand?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Her girlfriends don't have a problem with her, but I'm sure they have a problem with him... it's just kind of a female/male thing.
And, well, the guy may have to deal with that when he pursues a girl he wants some day, and she finds out he had a one night stand with this less attractive broad... if that occurs... then he will have a taste of the medicine. As we all find out, our activities have a way of catching up to us in one way or another.</p>

<p>katho said it all.</p>

<p>Yeah, I think she liked you and you just told her she's a slut and that she's not attractive at all...through an email. No girl likes to hear those things about herself. Bacially what katho said. </p>

<p>And yeah, sometimes it bothers me that my guy friend only makes those jokes around me. I didn't like that he felt free to be like that around me, while he was different around other girls. But I got used to it.</p>

<p>Nice job letting her know your feelings, that's admirable--but you really messed up when you mentioned the one-night-stand thing. Why did you let her know you think she's a slut? The girl has obviously tried to distance herself from that incident, because you say that she doesn't acknowledge that guy's existence anymore. So obviously she has moved on and moved up from that experience. You ruined it by bringing it up again. You're going to have to apologize and try again.</p>

<p>so pretty much shes a slut/whore/ho and you feel left out becuase you want to bang her also? well we live in the 21st century, and its not longer considered taboo to have premarital sex. </p>

<p>note: i in no way support this. find a girl who is at least decent.</p>

<p>oh i just read the rest of your post. yeah, if any guy gave me that reason i would probably egg his house, or at least never talk to him again. there is nothing more infuriating to a girl than to have the "double-standard" inflicted on her. so you can keep being friends with your friend even though he's a playboy but when a girl decides to act the same you're disgusted? geez.</p>

<p>In all fairness, he just doesn't want to date her (he said he just wants to be friends). I'm sure he doesn't want to date the guy she had the one night stand...or whatever it was...with either.</p>

<p>ignore bendrum, guys are almost always viewed as pimps if they get girls and girls are viewed as sluts if they bang guys...sad but true.</p>

<p>dont use email for important things to say, you should have said it face to face even though it takes big balls. apologize to her and tell her what you really meant. good luck with things.</p>