Guys: Need Relationship Advice? Click here.

<p>Hey! This is gonna be the best damn advice thread CC has ever seen.</p>

<p>Whatever you do, do not listen to anything I say on this thread.</p>

<p>Don't worry, I've already perfected that.</p>

<p>How do I ask that hot devilish looking chick out at my gym if I by so happen to run into her between now and the weekend?</p>

<p>Just go up to her and grab her ass and then say meet me in the alley down by the greyhound truck stop. if she reacts violently just remember that 'no is just another word for yes' and try again. try to spot her, even if she doesn't ask for it. play with her hair. steal her i pod.</p>

<p>She did have quite the toned body, so that first suggestion is tempting, however I couldn't bring myself to it.</p>

<p>I figure I could record a selection of love ballads dedicated to her and burn them to a CD and give it to her. HOW DOES THAT SOUND?! AM I IN?!</p>

<p>No .</p>

<p>Shucks, I guess I will just have to let this one get away.</p>

<p>Look, do you want her to think you're her balding english teacher or her sexy man-ho? yeah, sentimental is definitely a no, unless it involves tights.</p>

<p>It's so not fair. This cruel thing I call life.</p>

<p>I thought you loved life, you said youreslf you were a "winner" at life.</p>

<p>Well, I am clearly a loser in this situation as I have not woo'd this woman into my arms.</p>

<p>that's because you're a dick</p>

<p>Richard IS my middle name.</p>

<p>and what do you want to bet I never get banned? yeah dove of peace is a dick too. the mods are *<strong><em>ing *</em></strong>*es.</p>

<p>No--a CD is too impersonal. Follow her home, plant yourself outside her bedroom window, and serenade her LIVE. </p>

<p>What's not to love?</p>

<p>Remember, she had that bad girl, look to her. I probably need to roll harder than singing to her.</p>

<p>I think you should burn your phone number into the grass in her front lawn. BIG.</p>

<p>Drive up on a Harley, throw a rock through her window, and THEN sing.</p>

<p>Rev the Harley at opportune moments during the song.</p>