<p>Our family is waiting for March 10th. Our daughter applied to Andover, Exeter, Deerfield, SPS, Choate, and MX. Got a 97 on SSAT, straight As past two years, plays sports, a great writer and did well on her interviews. BTW, looking at other posts she is not a geek but a really cool normal kid. However, I am still incredibly worried she will not get in anywhere because of the overall steep competition. How do we handle the rejection? I'm worried. She is applying for 9th grade as a boarder.</p>
<p>Good luck to your family. Speaking strictly in general terms, it will probably hurt you more than it will her if the decisions are unfavorable. One thing, she did not apply to any “safety” schools. I realize you may have good reasons for this, but if it is truly that a boarding experience is desired, it would have been more comforting to do that. If all goes awry, there are still rolling admissions schools. On the SSAT website, after Apr.10 (I think) a number of schools that have openings list themselves.</p>
<p>Acceptance of things in our control - her great stats, personality, etc. and those those are not in our control - acceptance letters. The reasons for admittance or rejection are not factors we can completely control. Positioning yourself to reach your goals - reevaluate if necessary - and reapply next year with safety schools that are a good fit. Philosophically, realize and accept that she is where she is meant to be.</p>
<p>We applied to the schools that our secondary school advisor suggested. I won’t say which ones they were but according to the advisor we do have “safety schools” our list. Our daughter goes to an independent school now but we live in a top notch very desirable school district. If she doesn’t get accepted at one of these boarding schools she will go to the public school. There are other schools we could have applied to that maybe considered more safety but we didn’t feel academically they were any better than our public school choice. Just being honest. Also, my daughter will definitely be more upset than us (we will be very disappointed) but it will be a $200K windfall! I’m sure many other parents know what I mean. I still would like to here some suggestions on how to deal with a 14 year old’s disappointment.</p>
<p>Be positive. Your daughter probably has a really good chance considering she has the guidance of an independent middle school placement advisor, isn’t applying for FA and sounds like an overall wonderful candidate for all of the schools on your list. Having the means to pay is a very big plus this year, i would think.</p>
<p>But I do know what it feels like to doubt and dwell on the possibility of rejection. We don’t want to see our children hurt. For our family, we have no local options. Rejection will mean another year unchallenged and at risk at public school. It’s hard to sleep at night. </p>
<p>If you do have sad news next week, you can remind her that sometimes admissions seem random because we don’t know exactly what the schools are looking for and nearly all of the applicants are extremely qualified.</p>
<p>But until March 10, I’m trying to be cautiously optimistic with my son while stressing the low acceptance rates (and secretly praying for a miracle.) :)</p>
<p>As the date approaches, remind your daughter of her strengths and that whether she gets into one of these selective boarding schools she has a great high school to go to. She has done her part and the rest has an element of luck. BTW, based on the info you have given, I think your daughter will have a choice of schools.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice. We are hoping for the best. The best to everyone else as well.</p>
<p>I think the odds of a full pay qualified student being shut out this year are remote. We must remember these endowments are probably down another 10% or more since the first of the year. protective mom, i think you can kiss the 200k windfall goodbye!!</p>
<p>“BTW, looking at other posts she is not a geek but a really cool normal kid”</p>
<p>Just wondering what you consider a geek?</p>
<p>Protective: Help by trying to not let her fall in love with any one school until she knows. Better to fall in love with the concept until you hear. And yes the process has a random element to it. It is not a vote on her. Each school is trying to put together a whole class that will work. A pinch of this and a teaspoon of that. But not all of any one thing. Also you can have a good or bad day. So can the admissions people. They try but there are SO many great kids out there. I am sure YOUR daughter is great. And finally, the best schools will be the ones that admit her, and THE best will be the one she chooses.</p>
<p>This is a stressful time for all the kids (and parents) here. Only glad I am past all of that! Now I just have to look at college admissions and job applications! Ah… the fun never ends!</p>
<p>I don’t consider anyone a “geek”. I was looking at some thread and people were saying that anyone getting over a 95 SSAT score was one. I was offended because I don’t think that is true…quite a broad statement don’t you think? That is the only reason I put that in my orginal post. I hope that clears things up.</p>
<p>Since the application was completed, we have tried not to focus on the BS related issues. They inevitably come up from time to time and I know it’s on S’s mind all the time. We sort of agree that if a school is not returning with a favorable decision it’s expected given how selective these schools are and how many things can factor in their decisions; and that if we do get a favorable decision then take it as a pleasant surprise. So in a sense, S already moved on. I on the other hand have been a secrete fervent CC member (but I didn’t encourage S to get involved in the forum much). I think I’d have a harder time than he would if we had to deal with the disappoint, but that’s OK. I can take it.</p>
<p>My son scored high as well and is definitely not a geek.
I look at any rejection of him as “it’s their loss and they made a big mistake, so basically screw them and move on”.
Being that I’m raising a boy I have no problem with stating that to him exactly as I wrote it.</p>
<p>HAHA Sarum- I like your moxie! (not sure if I spelled moxie right…)</p>
<p>Thanks protective mom for the clarification. I was totally misinterpreting you.<br>
I guess I was being a protective mom when I asked that question since my DS is somewhat of a geek and we are proud of him. Let everyone shine in their own geeky or cool way! They are all super bright and passionate kids who deserve to be at these excellent schools! </p>
<p>Watertester- you and I sound so similar- son not on the forum and me a closet addict! LOL</p>
<p>I have been honest with my son…he applied to the gamut, target, safety and reach. We told him it would be hard to get into the reach schools, luckily he loves a great target school. I feel one should be honest with their kids and not set them up on pedestals.
If he doesnt get into his fav. target school, he has a safety he also likes. I guess he will make the most of where he gets in…</p>
<p>Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, know that it’s a competitive pool of applicants to be swimming in (esp. the schools the OP mentioned: Andover, Exeter, Deerfield, SPS, Choate, and MX), and that if things don’t work out, she can always re-apply next year!</p>
<p>Best of luck.</p>
<p>Rejection hurts. Dealing with rejection is a necessary skill. We’ve had long discussions with our child about rejection in this process. It isn’t personal. It feels personal, in part because the applications ask for reflections and personal opinions. The decisions to admit or reject are determined by other factors. We’ve used the metaphor of a bouquet. The admissions departments are selecting a group of flowers which will create a greater whole. You may be a calla lily, a beautiful, fragrant flower. This year, though, admissions has the applications of 20 calla lilies, and they need some dandelions. Tough luck, too bad, learn to disengage and move on. </p>
<p>Winterset’s advice to not fall in love with a school is superb. Our child’s applied to six schools. If five rejections arrive on March 11th, that’s fine. We only need one acceptance. Being able to make a choice is a luxury.</p>
<p>My mom was a crazy pushy parent and when my sister was rejected from Hotchkiss (in the 80s), she wrote a scathing letter to the admissions officer telling them that they would regret their decision, that it was their loss, etc. Four years later, when my sister was accepted to Harvard early decision from another TSAO school, my mom sent the director of Hotchkiss a copy of the acceptance letter, making sure that they knew how big a mistake they’d made! I cringe thinking of the belly laughs the Hotchkiss Admissions staff had when they read those letters! Needless to say, we didn’t relay this story when my D interviewed at Hotchkiss, and we’re keeping “Grammy” far away this time!</p>
<p>LOL! Sounds like Grammy doesn’t take rejection well! You can tell them the story after your daughter is accepted! Just make sure Grammy isn’t added to their fundraising database (they like to include grandparents, you know).</p>
<p>My son applied to a few boarding schools, and will be disappointed if he’s not accepted. But he’s at a great private school already and is very happy here. Frankly, the schools he applied to would be lucky to have him. (That’s our rationalization!) He’s at the top of his class, extremely well rounded and confident, and he really rose to the occasion on his SSATs. But there are lots of applicants, and we had to apply for financial aid this year. So whatever happens, happens. But the one thing we are going to stress, should he receive any rejections, is that he’s going to do quite well in life, and that in these strange times, he shouldn’t dwell too much on the reasons why he wasn’t accepted.</p>