Try sending one tomorrow - you may not hear for a day or two. Keep in mind that there is so much uncertainty right now with multiple situations. Also, their focus this week may be on dealing with current students and getting in gear for online learning.
I would remind them of your application status and that you’re seriously interested - ask them to keep you on the list and to contact you at the first possible opening. Don’t give up ! Wishing you good news later this spring!
Really appreciate your help and suggestion @Golfgr8. Deerfield is a great school, and the golf team is so strong. To be honest, we already gave up. We would buy lottery if my daughter could get off the waitlist. Haha…
Thanks @snowshovel - email the coach and also email your AO - if you can send it to the person who interviewed you at the school. Golf is such a short season for student-athletes at NE schools. That’s one reason why Deerfield has the indoor golf simulator.
There are some beautiful course up in the area and also some great teams. Hope you can practice soon!
I am totally confused. You say “FIT” is the most important criteria in selecting a school. Then you say they are all great schools in all respects and virtually indistinguishable from each other in terms of output, facilities, faculties, kids. Aren’t we contradicting here? What is FIT then? Preference for a school color and a mascot? Preference being formal vs informal? Are they important?
What is at stake here? Are a kid’ s experience and happiness gonna be substantially different, let alone distinguishable, if he chooses one over the other?
If you talk about the FITs between Deerfield and, say, a local public school in Burkina Faso, I would understand. But between Deerfield and Choate, how could a kid’s experience have meaningfully consistent variations? Wouldn’t the difference simply boil down to random individual luck such as meeting a nice roommate etc? Remember, they are all objectively good in all respects! I just do not see a way FIT would make that big a difference between the two. If he loves one, he will love the other; if he hates one, how else not the other?
Then couldn’t he simply pick one by flipping a coin? I am quite serious.
Fit means that there are different things that matter to different kids. The education received at most of the schools will be excellent. There are certainly differences that will matter to individuals. Would those differences necessarily make a kid miserable? Maybe, maybe not.
There is no need for agreement here, simply everyone doing what’s best for their own family. If you are a pick based on prestige and college matriculation kind of family, go for it.
In this department aren’t the two schools even more indistinguishable?
Vibes, spirits, fits - these terms are pervasively used as a reason to pick one over the other, but aren’t we basically talking about “gut feeling” or “first impression”? Frankly, we could not see that big a difference among many of the schools we visited including Deerfield and Choate. They all looked pretty, nice, green and new englandish. Perhaps we only saw the facade. But seriously don’t they basically draw from the same pool of kids and teachers? And frequently exchange players - like Juventus and Inter-Milan? Perhaps by virtue of our unsophistication and equal-opportunity taste, we may fit into them all!
Dear @one1ofeach and @enpassant2019 -
You can find numerous threads about “fit” on this board. It’s very important in so many ways. Some things that contribute to “fit” is size of school, setting, where many students are from, geographic region or location (personally my fit would be Stevenson because it’s on the Pebble Beach course⛳️?, whereas a ski-kid my fit in better at Holderness), focus on school traditions, emphasis on sports, performing arts, diversity and/or gender specifics.
Here is how they differ:
VIBE & FEEL: Deerfield IMHO is probably one of the most “traditional” boarding schools in the NE. For some (like my kiddo) that’s a “good thing”. For others, it would feel too conservative and preppy. It’s more conservative now (my perception as a parent) than Choate or Groton. Choate & Deerfield are big rivals. Groton has a longstanding rivalry with SMS. I get the sense that Groton’s HOS has really expanded it’s global representation over the past several years. While the buildings look traditional, I believe Groton is very much a modern BS. I also feel their community-based traditions of shaking hands, the chapel services and the way the dorms are set up contribute the vibe. Compared to other schools, their Prize Day has some of the oldest traditions - including the hats and calling it “Prize Day”. For some kids, however, the location and size of the school is just too small. Most girls at Deerfield will tell you that the boys are more good looking at their school than others - if preppy, athletic, is your thing. Sports is very big at Deerfield and most athletes are in shape. BTW- I’m sure this will get the most disagreement from readers of this thread.
Size: It’s a middle-size school of @ 650 students. It’s larger than Groton and it is smaller than Chaote.
Setting: Both Deerfield and Groton are beautiful schools in a rural setting. Deerfield is in a valley surrounded by farms, hills and mountains in the distance. It’s about 20 minutes to Amherst & Hadley. In the country but a close drive to big college campus, hotels. Target, Starbucks & Chipotle. The campus is expansive and beautiful. The setting is an integral part of the vibe at school because students enjoy hiking, rowing on the river, jumping into the river on fun occasions, running on the fields for sporting events, and turning the field lights out as dusk so the dairy cows can be happy. Deerfield is a historic town. You should know the history before you even apply? and know the school motto. You will then also understand why the symbol is the Deerfield Door?. The campus is also within a town that is a living historical museum. If you are interested in US History, you will LOVE this town. It looks like a movie set - and it has been. Even many of the dorms are within historic houses (or replicas). Technically considered “on campus” is the Deerfield Inn, a historic small hotel with great food. The pub is a hangout place for parents and faculty at night. Students can dine at the Deerfield Inn and get take-out. Hey - any school where I can walk to my room after enjoy a much-needed?, is a plus for me!
Groton has a smaller, very beautiful, campus with buildings comprising a circle. Check out who the landscape architect was. Impressive! This circle has meaning to the school - you should know this BTW before you arrive. Groton is really in the countryside - but about an hour of Boston. There really is nothing around it - except you can go into town closer to Lawrence Academy and find a grocery, as well as a GREAT Italian restaurant (Filho’s Cucina?) . Choate is closer to a real town - it has a busy street that runs through the campus. It has a hill. The campus is a mix of traditional and modern with impressive new math/tech building and new arts center. Read more above. I don’t want to throw shade about our rivalry. There is a big Choate group on this board, so they can share more.
Academics: For sure, you will get an excellent education at all 3 schools you ask about. I think a larger school like Choate probably has more course offerings. Groton did not have as many course offerings at the time we looked at it a few years ago - and it had a formal curriculum - more requisite courses, like Latin/Greek at the time - this may have changed? Groton has a schoolroom where 8th & 9th graders study. I don’t think they let you study in your room as an 8th or 9th grader. It seems like more rules there compared to Deerfield.
The course load is heavy and more rigorous than we anticipated at Deerfield. People don’t complain about it or talk much about the rigor, instead they just do the work. You MUST be disciplined and utilize your “free periods”. Do NOT fall into the trap of taking the most difficult levels of a course as a Freshman. There are some courses that are GPA suicide. I won’t name it, but kiddo has a friend at another school mentioned here and the level of rigor is less than what we heard. I would say that Deerfield is tougher than you think. There is well-known grade deflation and grade compression. Teachers hate to give you anything above an 88 or 89 - that is A work to them. You can read about this in the Deerfield Scroll I really like how close students seem to be with their advisors at Groton. My understanding is that they have one-on-ones more often with advisors. At Deerfield, you have weekly lunches with your advisory group, then a monthly one-on-one lunch or meeting.
Harkness Hogs - ok, I cant speak for the other schools. There are some hogs around the table at Deerfield. Some of the typical suspects are guys who are coming from JBS or all-boys schools. Be prepared for some “mansplaining”. They are also BS artists. You will find this at most schools.
Sports: ? Deerfield is a school that loves its athletics. Honestly, I think sports is bigger at Deerfield than the other schools you mentioned. I do know Groton is a big hockey and crew school, too. I think most Deerfield students do at least one sport and many do 3 sports, as well as a performing art. Sports are big - students show up for games to cheer. Really nice to see teams going over to watch other teams. Many students are NCAA recruits. It now has IMHO the best athletic facilities of any NE boarding school. Deerfield has a new athletic center that features indoor field(s), 12+squash courts, indoor crew tank, golf simulator, rink, training rooms, volleyball court, spin, yoga, track, and adjoining hang-out/snack bar/gathering places. Athletics is big there for both girls and boys. Lax, crew, hockey, soccer, squash, volleyball, & football are popular sports. The boys football team won the NE prep school championship this year. Golf is big, also. 
Crew is one of the top teams in the nation.
Hope this gave you more of a feel for “fit”.
@Golfgr8 Enormously helpful. Thank you so much! These are exactly the kind of precious information we wanted to hear from someone attending or attended. We too visited BS campuses but we could get only so much through such visits. They all looked similar to us, not just the buildings and design but almost in every way - a sharp-looking tourguide, a friendly AO with a firm handshake, a nice reception room, serious-looking students. Every time I asked my son “Well, how do you like?” My son would say “Super nice!” “But you say that about every school!” “Well… they all look so much nicer than my current one and everyone’s so friendly.” To middle schoolers, they must all quite appear similarly impressive. But it had one problem - we really could not differentiate the schools. We did not understand the fit and vibe everyone was talking about, and how students’ experiences could vary so widely when the schools all seemed to offer pretty much everything. Thank you for taking the time to write this - hugely helpful to someone like us, and from the way you write we can picture what kind of school Deerfield is.
Thanks @enpassant2019 - wishing you well and hope you can find the info you are seeking through us folks on CC!
No doubt, Deerfield has top notch athletic facilities …but, the best in New England?
I would give Andover the edge. The school has two impressive olympic-sized hockey rinks, a massive brand new indoor field house plus an attractive lighted football stadium with artificial turf among other athletic amenities.
@Teahupo - we can’t have lighted football stadium or lighted fields - it disturbs the dairy cows?
@Golfgr8
great descriptions.
My only additions:
Hoping you never need it, but the infirmary at Groton is nice.
ALso, do check out that great Italian restaurant - Filho Cucina !
There is a video series available on YouTube of virtual tours @ Deerfield Academy. The link below should take you to the first one - you can find others that follow.
@Golfgr8 It is interesting you do not simply gloat about Harkness as many people do. I recall my son who declared Harkness was not his cup after attending Exeter Summer.
He wanted to hear what the teacher had to say about certain important concepts, but “a few constant talkers” used up the class time. The extent of some girls’ discussion domination left him wonder if they were trying to impress the teacher for the purpose of obtaining good recommendation rather than pursuing intellectual curiosity.
My son said in order for Harkness to work, students should be mature and considerate, and teachers should set some rules rather than going complete laissez faire.
I told him that the summer teachers and students are very different from those during the regular school year and he should not judge the system soley on his summer experience. If the participants had been likes of Zuckerbergs, no doubt Harkness experience would have been very different. I would also think students who are reserved by nature or lack the guts to express opinions should be most encouraged by teachers. Some really brilliant kids are simply shy and reticent.
My perception is that most great boarding schools these days (Deerfield, Groton, Choate) - not just Exeter and Andover - carefully weave elements of Harkness into their teaching method. (Am I correct?) I would think one benefit of Harkness would be “forcing” the students to read and pre-study the material so that they have something to say in class. Pre-learning is an efficient way to learn the class material.
I really like certain “mandatory rules” in Deerfield and Groton such as seatings, meals, handshakes and making them meet face to face all the time. Left entirely to themselves, the shy ones will hide into their caves, the gamers will never come out, clicques will be formed, communications will be lost.
Public schools are huge in enrolments, but I have seen lonely kids inside, with all the freedom they’ve got, like islands in an ocean. I also heard about racially segregated tables in one private school (naturally by students’ own choosing), and all the diversity the school was touting on its brochure seemed kinda moot. Freedom does not bring kids close. Tactful intervention does.
It was also very impressive to hear students trying to help each other academically - despite the fact they are under tremendous pressures themselves. I am starting to see why BS is still the way to go - in this age of online learning. Interaction and intervention are still the keys to growing up. I will definitely support all my kids’ BS dreams.
The “Harkness Hogs” situation may be interesting to observe once the kids go to online learning soon! ?
Some advice to future students @ the Harkness table no matter where you attend:
I personally don’t understand the fascination with Harkness. From everything I have heard and read it sound like my nightmare of a class situation. I am puzzled that it’s become such a big deal. Or maybe kids make it a big deal because it’s something they can point to as the “why go here.” Kind of like kids are obsessed with Brown’s open curriculum??
Great teachers run a great class, period. It doesn’t matter what their teaching style is called. Every teacher I have spoken to thinks that this obsession with specific pedagogy is just silly since they use what works best at the time…
If you mean that teachers at Groton can run a class discussion? Then yes they can. If you mean they annoyingly insist on adhering to a strict pedagogy when it’s not appropriate, then no they don’t.
Sorry, self isolation is making me grouchy + bad phone customer service messing up my trip cancellation.
But I do really not get Harkness obsession…
@one1ofeach Totally agree. I think it is a marketing thing, a brand name. Come to think of it, I recall my LPS teachers always asking students what their opinions were, if anyone had a different opinion, etc. Many teachers teach kids that way anyway. Except we did not sit around an expensive round table or had a fancy name for it. But if you visit the BS review site, every single review makes a reference to it. Why? Beats me.
My son disliked it when science was taught that way at the summer school. “Why am I paying $9,000 to hear some teenagers’ incoherent thoughts on Newtonian mechanics? I would much rather read a book written by a professional physicist,” he said in frustration after the experience.
As a parent and former educator (high school, college, grad school), I really value the Harkness experience. Especially in the social media - digital age where kids seem to not converse … Our kids have only a dozen or less around a table - very fortunate to have that learning experience that’s much more than asking an opinion. Exercise in reasoning, critical thinking and debate. Kiddo thinks it also makes the class go by quicker?